I Have Seen the Rain
by Makkitotosimew
Summary: Bella and Edward meet amidst the turmoil of the Vietnam War. Love and friendships are put to the test as their worlds are torn apart. AH, canon pairings, M for language and possible sexin'. *Nominated for SIX Indie TwiFic Awards!*
1. Compulsory Hero

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns **__**Twilight**__**, and therefore my literary soul as well.**_

_**Songs referenced are intended to set the tone for their respective chapters. No infringement intended. They can all be found on YouTube and in my profile, once I'm clever enough to figure that out (and yes, I know, some kinda suck. :P).**_

_**This entire story is dedicated to my drunk, fanfic-crazed, penniless, eccentric, Mexican, doppelganger cheerleader (or DFCPEMDC, for short – I just call her Fer), without whom I would never have had the metaphorical testicular fortitude to go ahead and even try writing this.**_

_**Mad props and thanks to my friend and beta, plovesh. (It's not Russian.)**_

_**Italicized lines are thoughts; italicized quotes are coming from the TV announcer… but I hope that's obvious at some point.**_

_**Here we go…**_

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_You've gotta go and be a hero_

_I've got a new game for all you boys_

_It's a war without a choice_

_Compulsory hero_

_Just try and make it home_

- "Compulsory Hero", 1927

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**BPOV**

"_July 23__rd__"_

_Another group of "young, upstanding Americans" called on to die._

"_December 26__th__"_

_More dead strangers._

"_November 30__th__"_

_This country's getting empty…_

"_September 13__th__"_

_Oh my… Thank God I'm a woman._

"_October 25__th__"_

_No._

The previously deafening silence was shattered by a heart wrenching scream as my best friend lost her everything.

"Rosie, baby, it'll be okay," Emmett tried to console her. "I'm tough, we both know that. Everything will be fine."

From the look on his face, he was trying to convince himself as much as his girlfriend.

"No, Emmett! Everything will not be fine!" Rosalie shouted, her voice cracking through her sobs. "Nothing will be fine, and you know it!"

If any of us knew just how not fine things would be, it was Rosalie. She'd already been through this once before, already watched someone she loved march off to fight in a war she didn't believe in.

As if it weren't enough she'd had to bite her tongue and watch her twin brother, Jasper, willingly enlist and go off to fight; now she had to let Uncle Sam drag the love of her young life into battle. And those of us who cared about her had to watch her crumble in the process - again.

I sat, stunned, on the floor of our apartment as Rosalie stormed off into her bedroom, tears streaming down her heartbroken face. Emmett slowly rose from his spot on the couch, doing his best to look neutral and normal, and made his way to the slammed-shut door to Rosalie's room.

"Rosie… honey… please. Calm down and come out here."

Silence from beyond the door.

"Rosie? I know you're scared – I'm scared. Just come back out and sit with me."

A weak sniffle, muffled by the wood.

I got up and slowly approached the door.

"Let me try," I whispered to Emmett. "Rose? Think about this, Rose. Staying in there won't keep him here. All staying in there will do is upset you more when he has to leave and you haven't said goodbye."

"I'm not saying goodbye." The door unlocked with a soft click. "He's not leaving me." Slowly, tentatively, Rosalie opened the door and stepped back out into the living room. Her crystal blue eyes were clouded and glistening with the pain she was trying to hold back; her honey blonde hair was a shiny, disheveled mess. The usual almost unearthly beauty of her face was distorted in sorrow and stained with salt water agony. It made my heart ache just to look at her – I couldn't even pretend to imagine how she was feeling.

"Never, Rosie," Emmett declared, pulling her to him. She sobbed into his chest as he stroked her hair in the only gesture of comfort he could think to offer. He hid it better than Rosalie could ever hope to, but I could see he was hurting as badly as she was. He looked terrified and pensive at the same time. A more determined look swept its way over his face as he gripped Rosalie's shoulders and held her out at arm's length and looked her square in her eyes.

"Rosie, I love you," Emmett began, but Rose wasted no time in cutting him off.

"I know you do, Em. I love you too."

"I know, babe… but I wasn't finished."

"Okay…"

He gently placed his pointer finger on Rose's lips, effectively silencing her.

"Would you shut your pretty mouth for a minute so I can talk?" he asked with a sad chuckle.

Rose tried to argue, but her protest was completely incomprehensible with Emmett's meaty finger sealing most of her lips. Frustrated, she gave up talking and nodded once.

"What I was _trying_ to say," Emmett began again, laughing softly before his mood turned slightly darker, "is that I love you, Rose… but I have to go. I _have_ to. I can't run from this. You know that. But I _will_ come back to you. I will always come back to you."

Tears began to stream down Rosalie's face again as she realized the truth in Emmett's words. There was no escaping this. The only thing worse than being sent to fight was being known as a draft dodger, and Emmett would never stand for it. Truth be told, he probably would have been excited to go fight if he hadn't had Rosalie.

"I can't talk about this anymore," Rosalie mumbled through her tears.

Emmett pulled her to his chest and hugged her so tight I wondered if she could still breathe.

"Then we won't talk about it, babe. At all."

"_And in news from Vietnam tonight… several American troops are de—."_ I flew over to the television and quickly clicked it off to keep the news from further upsetting Rosalie.

As the room was again plunged into silence, I heard a muffled "thank you, Bella".

"Any time, Rose. I think I'm gonna go get a glass of water" – I was feeling intrusive, standing there, observing Rose and Emmett's misery like a pathetic peeping tom – "Want me to get you one too?"

"No. No water. We're going out."

"We are?" Emmett and I stammered in confused stereo.

"Yes. We are. We're celebrating Emmett being here and safe and not thinking about him being… We're just going out, okay?"

Rose was losing it, I could tell. She was trying hard to put her "strong face" back on. It wasn't working, but I would never tell her that. If she wanted to go out, we would go out. I would do whatever it took to make my friend even momentarily happy again. And Emmett wasn't about to turn her down either. Not when his motto for the past three years had been "What Rosie wants, Rosie gets". I used to think his motto spoiled her, but now I was just glad we all knew it meant he wouldn't refuse her request.

Twenty minutes later, Rose had worked whatever miracles she did to make her look like a goddess and we were all headed out. To anyone else, she would've looked just as happy as she'd been before those stupid dates were called. But as I watched her surreptitiously stuff her purse full of Kleenex, I knew she was anything but.

I couldn't help myself. I walked deliberately over to her and wrapped my arms around her in what I hoped was a friendly, loving gesture.

"It'll be alright, Rose. You heard Emmett. He'll come back. And he's right – he's tough as nails. It'd take a hell of a lot more than some stupid Charlie to take him down."

I stopped my hugging and stood beside her, holding her hand.

"I mean, c'mon. He's a damn tank!" I said, smiling cheerfully and nudging her side with my elbow.

Rose let out a slightly sad chuckle, smiled at me and said "Thanks, Bella. You're right. Besides, it'd be hard for them to even catch him–"

"Catch who?" Emmett interrupted with a curious glint in his eye.

For the first time in nearly an hour, Rose smiled a genuinely happy smile. A smile that reached her eyes, lit up her face, and glowed with absolute love and devotion.

"My monkey man," she said, stretching up on her tip toes to kiss Emmett softly on the lips.

He let out a bellow of a laugh, clearly thrilled to see his girlfriend being even a tiny hint of her normal self.

"You know I love when you call me that," Emmett laughed as he grabbed Rose by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. She giggled and squealed and kicked her legs, pretending to fight him off. Her faux fight only spurred him on. He bent his knees slightly and scrambled around the room, free arm swinging goofily at his side, making the most ridiculous monkey noises.

"Uhm… Tarzan? Jane? Weren't we on our way out?" I asked.

It wasn't that their silly little games weren't amusing – they were downright endearing, and I loved watching my two closest friends be so happy and free and in love. It was just… Well, honestly, it was just a little depressing. While Rose was agonizing over the fact that her brother and her boyfriend could potentially return to her in boxes, I was just the tiniest bit jealous that she even had reason to be in agony. Not that I would ever wish the draft or war on anyone. God no, never. I just wanted someone I could care about as much as Rose cared about Emmett, or even Jasper. Sometimes, being an only child whose two best friends are in love can be very lonely. Sometimes, it absolutely sucks.

But now was not the time to be down. It wasn't the time to let my loneliness overtake me. Now was the time to stand up and be the happy, cheerful, non-blood-related sister that Rosalie needed. And I was more than up to that challenge.

"Yes we were!" Rose giggled. "Put me down, Monkey Man! I want to go to dinner."

"What Rosie wants, Rosie gets."

I wasn't kidding when I said it was his motto.

"Well, Rosie wants dinner, drinks, and dancing, so let's go!"

And with that, we were off for a night of fun before letting the sad reality of our lives, and the lives of too many people our own age, sink back in.

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_**A/N: Okay, so, this is my first feeble attempt at writing something since I was in the fourth grade – which was a REALLY long time ago – so it's decidedly not the best thing you've ever read. But, you're reading it, and that is blowing my mind as you read! Seriously. Thanks for even checking it out. If you liked it, let me know. Hale, if you hated it and want to tell me I shouldn't quit my currently non-existent day job, let me know that too. Go a little easy on me though – I don't have it in me to handle haters and flames with the grace of some of my favorite fic authors.**_

_**For the record, I know my facts are probably a bit skewed in this. I did a little bit of research and made sure all those dates actually WERE called in that order during the 1969 US draft. If you don't believe me, check it out. I'll put the link to where I found them on my profile.**__** And I also know that's not quite how you found out you were leaving, but it doesn't make much sense for my story the way it DID go. So, yeah – I know things aren't spot on. Call it poetic license. My BA is in Spanish, not History – cut me some slack. :)**_


	2. Always Come Back to You

_** disclaimer I, unfortunately, am not Stephenie Meyer, and therefore I am neither the owner of nor the mastermind behind the phenomenon known as Twilight. / disclaimer **_

_**Again, mad thanks go out to my friend and beta, plovesh. And to all of you who added my story to your favorites or alerts – and especially to the two of you who reviewed. Two's a damn big number in my sad little world. Lol**_

_** dedication To my BFO, my eternally Robsessed cheerleader, the jandco to my wtvoc: Fer. Love you, bb! I couldn't do this without you. / dedication **_

_**Enough faux html tagging! On with the chapter!**_

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_It's a long way from home_

_But I'll always come back to you_

_I don't know which way to turn_

_But I feel it's the right thing to do_

_There's so much for me to learn_

_But I'll always come back to you_

- "Always Come Back to You", Ryan Cabrera

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**BPOV**

The next month passed in a strange, emotional haze. Emmett spent every waking moment he had with Rosalie, and most unconscious moments as well. It was almost as if he had moved in with us, which I didn't mind at all, with the distinct exception of the few times I'd caught him drinking our milk straight from the carton… with the refrigerator door held open… by his naked hip. As much as I loved him, I just did not need to see that.

By the time two weeks had gone by, I'd gotten used to saying goodnight to both of them when I went to bed. I was no longer surprised to find them sitting together on the couch, arguing over the answers to the New York Times' crossword, every morning. I got used to making dinner for three instead of two. I expected to find them together when I got home from work at the coffee shop down the street.

I guess that's why it was so strange to me when I came home to a silent apartment about a week before Emmett was supposed to leave for training.

"Em? Rose?" I called, leery about the absence of noise.

No one responded, so I drew the only logical conclusion – Emmett finally got off his lazy ass and took his girlfriend out on a well-deserved date. I smiled to myself, glad that they were being as normal as possible at a time like this, and searched the fridge for dinner inspiration. I was just about to give up my search and settle for leftovers when I heard it.

A quiet but distinct whimper from Rosalie's bedroom.

I shut the fridge and tentatively headed for her room, trying to decide which scenario I didn't want to deal with would be best. Either something had happened to make Emmett leave early and Rose was devastated, or she was trying to muffle sounds I'd heard all too frequently over the past month. As I got closer to her door, it became clearer that the whimper I'd heard was not the sound of a mid-coital Rosalie. My heart sank and panic started to set in.

"Rose?" I mumbled to the closed door. "Can I come in?"

Rosalie sniffled and did her best to make her shaky voice sound steady before responding.

"Uhm… yeah, Bella. It's… it's open."

I opened the door apprehensively and looked into a pair of puffy and pathetically bloodshot eyes.

_How long has she been crying?_

_How did I not hear her sooner?_

_What the hell happened?_

I hadn't seen her so upset since the night Emmett's number was called. It was disconcerting and depressing. More than anything, it was absolutely devastating.

I crossed to the bed, sat next to her, and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug.

"Rose, honey, what happened?"

"He's… he's gone."

"What? He can't be. He's not supposed to leave for another week."

"No, no. I know. He just went out. Said he had an errand or something and left."

"Then what are all these silly tears about? He'll be back. He'll be back in no time."

"Sure, he'll be back this time. But what about the next time he leaves? How do I know he'll be back then? He could—"

"Rose, don't. We've been through this. He'll come back. He promised."

She leapt off the bed like she thought it might explode beneath her at any moment. Before I could even register her movement, she was standing in front of me, screaming at the top of her exhausted lungs.

"So fucking what, Bella?! Did _they_ promise not to kill him?! Not to hurt him?! I don't think so! In a week, he'll be gone… and then three months and he's in that fucking hellish war zone! How am I supposed to believe he'll come back to me?! And even if he _does_ come back, how do I know he'll be the same? Bella, people… they get… so… _broken_ over there. They come back and they're _different_. War changes people, Bella. How am I supposed to know he'll come back and still be _my_ Emmett and not some empty, broken shell of the man I love? How do I know he won't… forget me?"

As she stuttered out the last few words, she burst into a fresh round of tears and collapsed on the floor. I sat there on the bed, just staring at her, watching her sob harder than I thought humanly possible, and wondering what I could possibly do to help, to make things any better. After a long minute, the shock of watching my ever-confident best friend doubt herself, her boyfriend, and the only stable relationship I had ever witnessed, passed. I crawled down onto the floor beside her, and did the only thing I could do.

I cried with her.

"I don't know, Rose. I really don't. I guess… I guess you just have to have faith in him. You have to believe in him, in what you two have together. You have to trust it's strong enough to keep him alive and keep him… him."

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know."

"I do."

We both snapped our heads up, surprised to hear a third voice respond to Rosalie's seemingly unanswerable question.

Emmett reached a hand out to Rose, begging her with his eyes to take it. When she put her hand in his, he pulled her off the ground, sat her on the edge of her bed, and sat next to her with a very sincere and determined look on his face.

"Bella was right, Rosie. You have to have faith in me, in our love. You have to trust me when I say that I _will_ come back to you. All of me – physically and emotionally. I'll serve my time and think of you every moment I'm there. And when my time is up, I'll come back to you, and things will be right again. And I need you to understand that there is _nothing_ in this world – no war, no peace, no place, no person – that could possibly make me forget you. You understand that?"

"Yes," Rosalie sniffled, not sounding the least bit convinced.

"That's what I thought," Emmett half-chuckled. "And that's why I had to go out today. Because I knew I was going to need to prove myself to you. And because I want, more than anything, for you to be sure of me and of us."

Rosalie looked at him, confused. I couldn't blame her – I couldn't for the life of me figure out an errand he could run to make her believe in him. It sounded stupid even in my head as I tried to figure it out.

_He had to _leave_ to make her realize he would always _return_? How the hell does that make any sense? You can't buy trust and faith at the grocery store, Emmett…_

Then I saw his hand emerge from his pants pocket. I saw the small black jewelry box concealed in his palm. And suddenly, it all made sense.

I gasped and Rosalie looked at me like I had lost my mind. Emmett ignored my outburst completely. Our apartment could have been set on fire and he still wouldn't have taken his eyes off of Rosalie's face.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, I have loved you from the very moment I set eyes on you. There is nothing is this world, in this universe, that could possibly make me stop loving you. I need you like the air I breathe; when I'm not near you, I swear I'm suffocating. I love watching you sleep at night, and waking up next to you in the morning. I love arguing with you, I love agreeing with you, I love making you laugh, and I love making love to you. And the second I get back from that stupid war, I refuse to spend another moment without you. Would you please make me the single happiest man in existence and say you'll marry me?"

I wasn't even the one being proposed to and I could feel the happy tears gliding down my cheeks.

Rosalie sat, stunned, on the bed, staring at Emmett with her mouth wide open. It looked for all the world like she'd forgotten how to breathe. Then her mouth slowly closed and turned into the happiest smile I had ever seen in my life, and her eyes began to glisten and sparkle as her glee overwhelmed her. Tears once again silently streamed down her beautiful, glowing face – this time for all the right reasons. She cried happily for a full minute before anyone said anything.

"Uhm… Rose… usually, it's… uh… customary to… uh… _respond_ to a request like that," Emmett pled.

Rosalie simply squeaked with joy and nodded before she abruptly lunged at him. Emmett laughed a clearly relieved laugh, and threw his arms around her. I'd never seen either of them so happy before. It was positively infectious. I couldn't decide if I should leave and let them have their moment or go join in their hugging and celebrating. Finally, I decided on a combination of the two.

"This most definitely calls for a celebration!" I said. "What do you say, Rose? Do we all go out and celebrate, or do I go get groceries for the best engagement dinner ever?"

"I say—"

"Wait!" Emmett interrupted. "Don't either of you want to see the ring? Or did I leave my beautiful fiancée here alone all afternoon for no reason?"

"Ooh! Yeah! I wanna see!" Rose was bouncing up and down on the bed like an excited child on Christmas morning.

"It's nothing fancy… I mean, I'm not exactly wealthy here… but…" Emmett trailed off as he opened the little black box.

He was right; it wasn't fancy. It was simple. Simple and simply perfect. And it was absolutely beautiful. Something about its simplicity made it almost… ornate?

A delicate silver band held an amazingly crystal clear, round diamond set in a square silver setting. It was surrounded by several smaller diamonds, and it sparkled brilliantly when the light hit it. The placement of the smaller diamonds made it look almost like a flower.

"Emmett… it's…" Rose began.

"I know. It's nothing. You deserve better. I can do better. And I will! One day… I just need time and mo—"

"No. It's beautiful and I love it. It's _perfect_ and it will never leave my hand… Once it gets put on there," she not-so-subtly hinted.

"Oh! Sorry." Emmett looked a little embarrassed as he slid the ring onto Rosalie's finger.

Rose laughed and kissed him softly on the mouth, before intently admiring her now-shiny ring finger. After a long moment of ring adoration, she turned back to Emmett and looked him in the eyes with the most intense and joyous look I had ever seen.

"I love you. So, so much," she whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, and kissed him again. Just as I once again began to feel a bit voyeuristic, Rose whipped around and shrieked blissfully at me. "Bella! I'm getting married! Can you believe it?!"

"I know! I'm so happy for you!" I replied, as Rosalie jumped up and hugged me. "And I am going to throw you the best engagement party ever – so long as you promise not to make the maid of honor wear a bow on her butt."

We laughed together like we hadn't in ages before Rose broke our embrace and ran back to Emmett on the bed. She threw herself on his lap and he laughed at her excitement.

"Now what was that about a celebration, Bella? I think we should go out and show my incredible fiancé off to the world, don't you?"

"Absolutely, Rose. You pick the place; champagne's on me."

"Did you hear that, Em? Champagne! For us! And do you know why?"

"Why, Rosie?" Emmett laughed, humoring Rose in her moment of overwhelming excitement.

"Because…" she began, running to her window. She threw it open, stuck her head out into the cool evening air, and shouted at the top of her lungs. "Because we're engaged! Did you hear that, Chicago? Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale are getting married!"

"Rose… I'm sure the neighborhood is really glad to hear that, but…" I started, but I was quickly cut off as a chorus of cheers and congratulations erupted from the street below our apartment.

Rosalie laughed blissfully and threw her entire left arm out the window. "Look! See? He's amazing and he's all mine!"

Emmett's loud laughter filled the room as he walked to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"And she's mine! Hands off, Chicago!" He laughed out the window before pulling Rose back into the apartment and shutting out the rest of the world.

People on the street were still laughing and cheering when we left to celebrate. More men than I could count patted Emmett on the back and shook his hand. Women I'd never even seen before kissed Rose on the cheek in congratulations. Her face absolutely lit up every time someone asked to see the ring up close.

The news seemed to travel like wildfire. By the time we got to the restaurant, everyone had already been told. But Rosalie couldn't be upset about not being able to declare her love for Emmett in yet another public setting, because the second we walked in, the entire place erupted in applause. I never even got to buy them champagne – half the population of the restaurant sent them a bottle. We celebrated for hours and stumbled happily back to the apartment carrying a decade's supply of vintage champagne.

_**A/N: Rosalie's ring is real – and really from the late 1960s. That's right, people, I do my homework. Okay, no, I don't. I write fanfiction and blow my homework off, but you know what I meant. If you want to see it for yourself, the link is in my profile. And, as usual, comments plz! I love hearing what people have to say about my little pride and joy here, whether it be positive or negative.**_

_**Reviews are better than grand, romantic proposals from Vietnam-era Emmett. :)**_


	3. Starlight

_**Still not Stephenie Meyer. Downside: I don't own Twilight. Upside: No one posts April Fools jokes about me being dead on the web.**_

_**As always, uberthanks to my friend, fan, and beta – plovesh. And to any and all of my other fans, all of whom I absolutely consider friends at this point. Love you all for even giving half a damn about this little fic here.**_

_**I am SO SO SO SO sorry for the delay on this post, my friends. Massive real life dramz overtook me for a brief period, but I am back in black – er, I mean, in action!**_

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_Far away_

_This ship has taken me far away_

_Far away from the memories_

_Of the people who care if I live or die_

_I'll never let you go_

_If you promise not to fade away_

_Never fade away_

- "Starlight", Muse

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**BPOV**

A week later, I watched out the window of my apartment as Emmett said goodbye to Rosalie, who vehemently refused to ever say goodbye to him. It was without a doubt the saddest thing I had ever seen. Even three stories up, I could tell Em was trying his absolute best to hold it together and be strong for Rose. Rose wasn't even trying anymore. She clung to his shirt and begged him to run away with her, tears streaming down her face. The sounds of the saddest goodbye the world had ever witnessed drifted up to my window…

"Emmett! Please!" Rose sobbed into his shoulder, her fists bunched in his shirt.

"I have to go, Rosie. Please don't make it harder on either of us than it already is."

"I can't live without you. I don't know how to."

"It'll be okay, baby. Bella'll still be here with you. And I'll write to you every day. You'll hear from me so often you'll get sick of me."

"Every day? Do you promise?"

"Every damn day, Rosie. I swear on my life."

_Poor choice of words, Emmett…_

A fresh round of sobs burst from Rosalie's shuddering form.

_Told you so._

"Rosie! Rosie, baby, I didn't mean it that way. Honey, calm down. I'll be fine, and I promise I'll write to you every single day I'm there."

She hugged him tighter than I thought her capable of. It looked like she was trying to absorb him into herself to keep him from leaving.

"Look at me, Rosalie," Emmett said, peeling her from him and holding her at arm's length. "I have to go. As much as I'd love to stay here and never, ever leave your side, I _have_ to go. Now. I love you, Rose."

Rosalie didn't respond. Instead she looked at her feet and watched her tears fall to the pavement. Emmett put one finger under her chin and lifted her face until she was looking him in the eyes.

"Rosie, tell me you love me so I can go and have a reason to come back."

"I… I…" Rose stuttered through her sobs. Then she did the single bravest thing I'd ever seen her do. She looked straight into Emmett's eyes, made herself stop crying, and let him go. "I love you, Em. More than you know. Come back to me."

He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head, then climbed into the waiting taxi.

And just like that, he was gone.

I cried quietly to myself as I watched to see what the brave new Rose's next move would be. I didn't have to wait long to find out. As soon as the cab was out of her sight, she let out a breath she'd clearly been holding for an unhealthy amount of time… and fainted.

"Oh my God!" I gasped. Then I ran as fast as I could for the stairs, took them two at a time, and rushed out the door to Rose's side.

"Rose! Wake up!" I slapped her lightly on the cheek a couple times. What that was supposed to do, I had no idea, but it always seemed to work in the movies and I was desperate. She didn't stir.

"For the love of God, Rose, wake the hell up!" I shook her shoulders, but she didn't wake.

"Rose, _please_! You're scaring me!" I slapped her again. Hard. I didn't know what else to do.

She rolled her head from side to side and opened her eyes slowly.

"Bella? Where am I?" she asked. She sounded confused. I prayed to whatever higher power would listen that she remembered everything before she collapsed. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell her Emmett was gone.

"You're… uhm, well… you're on the ground, Rose. On the sidewalk outside our apartment."

"Why am I… Oh God. He's gone. He… left… me…" She started breathing so fast I was afraid she would hyperventilate.

"We all knew this day was coming, Rose. I know it's hard—"

Her breathing was suddenly far more even. It was frightening how quickly she seemed to get a hold of her emotions.

"You don't know shit, Bella!"

I was wrong.

"…You're right." I felt ashamed of myself for thinking for even a moment that I had a clue what she was going through. Like I knew how hard it was. He was just my friend; he was the love of her life.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Rose?"

"Help me to my room? I can't be here."

"Yeah." I grabbed her right elbow and helped her stand up slowly. Then we made our way up the seemingly never-ending flights of stairs back to our apartment. Rose disappeared into her room, and I didn't see her again that night.

Or at all the next day.

I didn't want to bother her. She needed time. But when I got home on the third day of her reclusive state, I decided she wasn't going to take care of herself, so I'd better do it for her. Instead of hoping she'd come out and join me for dinner, I brought her a plate.

She barely touched it.

"Rose, honey, you have to eat," I begged her. I didn't know for sure how long a person could go without food, but I didn't want to see her test her limits either. She was thin enough as it was. I wasn't about to watch her waste away.

"What's the point?" she mumbled into her pillow.

"You don't want Em coming home to a starving fiancée, do you? What would he think?"

"He's not coming home."

"Rosalie Hale, you look at that shiny rock on your left hand and tell me that."

"He said he'd write… No letters."

"It takes time to send a letter here from California. And he hasn't even been gone three days. Give him time. You'll get your letters."

"Please… just… leave me alone."

"Only if you promise me you'll eat. And not just tonight."

"Fine. I'll eat. Go away."

I went in to get her plate a couple hours later, and was pleasantly surprised to see she'd eaten at least some of it. Less surprising was the fact that she was still awake, staring absently at the wall across from her bed.

She looked the same when I brought her breakfast the next day.

And dinner that night.

It continued like that for over a week. I was beyond grateful her boss was understanding about her semi-catatonic state. I couldn't afford the apartment alone.

Just when I was honestly starting to consider having her committed, she got her letter.

_Rosie – _

_This better get to you quick. I know you, and I know until you get this, you're going to be out of your mind with your ridiculous thoughts about me not coming back and me not loving you and all sorts of stupid nonsense. I don't want to get home and hear from Bella you've been lying around like some vegetable. I'm marrying a bright, beautiful, caring, strong, brave, vivacious woman – not a vegetable._

_It's not so bad here as you might think. At least not so far. Training bores the hell out of me, but I know it'll make me strong and buff, and I know you're going to like that, so it'll all be worth it. Think about it, babe! I can carry you across the threshold and everything. It'll be real romantic. You'll see, I'll make this a good thing._

_Three months in California… I wish you could be here with me. Well, not __here__ here. Not at training. But you'd love California. It's sunny all the damn time! I could take you to the beach any time you wanted. A real beach – not the shore of some crappy lake._

_I miss you, Rosie. I missed you as soon as I got in that damn cab. I brought your picture with me. I showed it to all the guys here. Any guy who would look. I told them "That's my fiancée. That's the woman I'm going to marry." They're all jealous (can you blame them?). Said I'm a lucky man, like I didn't know it already. I am. Luckier than any of them could ever hope to be._

_I can't wait to get back home and spend forever with you, babe._

_I love you more than I can tell you._

_Your man,  
Emmett_

Though she still wasn't convinced he would ever get to come home to her, the letter turned her mood around drastically. Suddenly she was up and about again. She was eating, washing, and actually getting dressed. She even exercised and did her hair and makeup as if he were still here. She was trying to be strong, be the woman Emmett knew she was, and I respected the hell out of her for it.

Every day she got a new letter, and every day she wrote one back. I couldn't imagine they had enough to talk about to fill that much paper, but clearly they found something. And I didn't care. Trees be damned, Rose was finally somewhat herself again.

A week after the first letter arrived, Rosalie declared she was going back to work. And she actually did it. She walked the three blocks to the restaurant where she was a waitress, and put on a happy enough face (or told a sad enough story – I wasn't sure which) to make her a fortune in tips. Things seemed almost normal. And they stayed that way for some time. It gave me hope. Hope for Rose, hope for Emmett, even hope that the damn war would end soon and Em could come back in less than his four years.

Two months after Rose went back to work, she decided we needed to go out. I got excited – it'd be a real Girls' Night Out. We'd had them once a week before Emmett's number got called, and I was overjoyed to see that Rose felt up to them again.

I asked her where we were going this time; she said she'd heard of this new place downtown. I should've asked how she'd heard about it, but I didn't. I just followed suit and happily got ready for a night out. Rose called for a cab while I finished getting ready. As soon as she was off the phone she started insisting we were going to be late.

_Late for what? _Our usual Girls' Night places didn't have distinct schedules…

I didn't recognize the place the cab took us to. Rose didn't seem to either, which I thought was strange.

"There's a door here somewhere…" she said, mostly to herself.

"Rosalie… Where are we?" I asked as I looked around nervously. This place was nothing like our usual haunts. Everything about the wall she was searching seemed to shout "hippie hangout", and it unnerved me. They could do whatever they wanted, but I wasn't into "free love" or smoking marijuana, and I didn't think Rose was either.

"Aha!" she shouted as she found a remarkably well concealed door handle. She pulled the door open and ushered me down a flight of stairs into a dark basement room.

"Rosalie, where the hell are we?!" I demanded. I was no longer nervous. I was flat out scared.

"Rose! You made it just in time! And you brought a friend!"

A bubbly little girl bounced excitedly over to us. She had dark eyes that looked fierce despite her apparently happy mood, and jet black hair that stuck out in every direction imaginable. She wore a simple cotton blouse and a long, gauzy skirt that swished and flowed like a river behind her as she pranced toward Rosalie. Her slip-on shoes clacked loudly as she ran across the cement floor. Worst of all, she greeted Rose by holding her right hand up with only her index and middle fingers extended – a peace sign.

_Oh God. It's a hippie hangout. Why the hell did Rose bring me here?_

I looked at Rosalie, begging her with my eyes for an explanation. To my utter shock and disappointment, she was greeting the pixie with her own peace sign.

"Hey, Alice! This is Bella."

_Did she just introduce me to the hippie pixie?! Oh no. This is not good._

"Hi Bella!" the pixie freak chirped, holding up her fingers again. "You look scared. Don't be scared! We're all about peace and comfort here."

"Yeah… I bet you are…" I trailed off, warily. I turned to Rosalie, desperate for an explanation – and an escape. "Rose, why did you bring me here?"

"Relax, Bella. It's not what you think. It's not a love-in or anything stupid like that," Rose tried to assure me. She actually looked _happy_ to be here.

The hippie fruit loop laughed.

"No, no. Nothing like that. I'm a one-man kinda woman. And we're not druggies either. We're just… a group of people who don't like what's going on."

"What's… 'what's going on'? What does that mean?"

"The war, of course. Vietnam."

"Bella. It's a protest group," Rosalie finally clarified for me.

"Right!" the pixie squeaked. "We just want to stop the senseless bloodshed going on overseas. Not nearly as bad as you thought, right?"

Now it all made sense. Rosalie perking up at the idea of going out… going to a protest group… She thought it actually had a chance at bringing Emmett home. I knew it wouldn't work. Nothing would work. He just had to serve his time and come home to her. Simple process. But I couldn't tell her that. She looked so… _hopeful_… and I couldn't bring myself to be the one to take that away from her.

"Not even close to what I thought, Alice," I said. I feigned enthusiasm for their cause. "What're we waiting for? We've got a war to stop, and a future husband to bring home!"

Rosalie's face lit up. So did Alice's.

_I am so screwed._

"That's the spirit, Bella! C'mon!" Alice shouted, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me into the center of the dank little room.

"Everybody! This is Rosalie and Bella. They're new to our group, but they're just as committed to ending this moronic war as we are!"

Alice introduced us. People cheered. I felt like a spectacle and an idiot. Rose, on the other hand, was basking in the attention and the theory that this group could somehow bring her man back to her quicker.

I counted the seconds until the meeting ended.

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_**A/N: For the record, the opinions of Bella are not necessarily my opinions. Hale, they're not even close to my opinions. I know myself well enough to know I would've been Alice in this scenario if I'd been born several decades earlier. Don't hate me for Bella's opinions – they're just what she told me she thought. Don't shoot the messenger. :P**_

_**As always, comments and reviews are more than welcome. I'm really getting into this now. I won't lie – I feel like this chapter was kind of weak and boring, but it needed to happen to get from point A to point B. And trust me, you're gonna like point B. Especially you, Fer!**_

_**Reviews are better than protest meetings with perky hippie pixie fruit loops!**_

_**And hey, maybe if I'm feeling hella generous, I'll do like a couple of my fave authors do and send teasers to those who review. Don't you wanna comment now??? ;)**_


	4. I've Just Seen a Face

**Get ready for a seriously lengthy A/N, folks! I have a lot to say this chapter. It's categorized for easier reading. lol**

**Fangirling:  
Holy Hale! I'm updating less than a week from the last one! Anyone see that comin'? I didn't. Anyone see Jackson on _Criminal Minds_ tonight? I did. You should've too. He rocked some seriously foxy socks. Color me majorly impressed...**

**Dedication:  
Anywho! I _was_ planning on specially dedicating this chapter to Fer because this was originally written with her in mind, but seeing as how the entire fic is hers, I suppose this one chapter can go to someone else. Especially since she demanded it and I owe her a lot. Thus: this chapter is dedicated to my amazing beta, plovesh, "for having to deal with apples all fucking morning". (Her words, not mine.) You chase those apples down, Panda. Show 'em who's boss. :P**

**Thank Yous:**  
**Thanks again to everyone who reads and especially to the only reviewer so far who I didn't know through other channels before I wrote this. Thank you so very much for joining in and expressing your enjoyment, Bent05. You really have no idea how nice it was to read your review. I wish more people would come out of hiding like you did. Epic screen name, by the way.**

**Contest (that's right, contest):**  
**My dear doppelganger and I noticed a trend in my chapters the other night: almost every single one has an accidental reference to one of my favorite fics (found under my favorites, of course). Therefore, I propose a contest of sorts. If you can spot the reference and tell me what fic it's from, I'll send you something major. And I'll even let you choose what you win. Your options are: epic teaser, chapter dedication, or photographic preview of things still to come (sort of a teaser for even later chapters, thanks to said doppelganger). And I do in fact keep my word on these things. Just ask Bent05 - she's already got an idea as to what's about to happen since she left me a really nice review last chapter. [Hint: there are TWO in this chapter. And if you don't recognize at least one of them, I pity your computer as it has clearly never had the privilege of displaying the absolute best the fandom has to offer.]**

**Well, with all that said, on with the show!**

**Oh! And, as usual, I'm not Stephenie Meyer and therefore I do not own Twilight. I _do_ however own an upcoming awesome character. Upcoming, but not in this chapter. The one in this chapter belongs to Fer. ;)**

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**

-------------------

_I've just seen a face,_

_I can't forget the time or place_

_And we'd just met, she's just the girl for me_

_And I want all the world to see we've met_

_Mm mm mm mm mm mm_

- "I've Just Seen a Face", The Beatles

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* * *

**BPOV**

After Emmett actually shipped out, Rose got even more into the protest thing. The group met every Friday, so every Friday night she dragged me out to the shadiest place I'd ever seen and made me sit with Pixie and Co. again. They talked about sit-ins, pickets, and other hippie protest nonsense. She'd read them parts of Emmett's letters, convinced they detailed exactly how bad it was over there. I knew he had to be sugar-coating it for her, but even the sugar-coating sounded bad. I had to admit it – I didn't like him being over there, and it wasn't just because it upset Rose. I missed my friend, and I was constantly afraid the letters would stop coming. I paid a little more attention to the group's activities as the letters sounded worse and worse, but I still wouldn't have been caught dead participating.

Then, one week, we were the slightest bit late for the meeting. Rose was worried she wouldn't get to voice her new ideas for getting to Washington, DC to protest in front of the White House. I was just scared the pixie hippie was going to hurt me with her enthusiasm that I did, in fact, make it. Luckily for me, Alice was already talking animatedly to the group when we entered.

"…another new member to our group! This is my cousin, Edward. He's a pain in the ass and he'll come off grumpy, but trust me, he's on our side. And once you get through the crunchy outer coating, he's got a soft nougaty inside!"

Everyone – including myself – laughed at her introduction. I tried to peek over the shoulders of all the people standing between me and this new, allegedly nougaty person. I was intrigued. If Alice thought he was grumpy, then maybe he was actually just realistic like me and she'd dragged him here.

Finally, people found places on the floor – and those damned hippie bean bag chairs – to sit and I could see Alice. My jaw dropped as I looked to her left and saw the Greek god she'd called her cousin. He was ruggedly handsome, with a squared jaw and stubble just past a 5-o'clock shadow. He had intensely green eyes and disheveled hair the color of… some flawless bronze-but-better metal that had yet to be named. He ran his hand through it absently as Alice showed him off to people. He looked uncomfortable with the attention. I liked him already.

Alice pranced over to talk to Rosalie about some new hippie idea she had that I couldn't have cared less about. All I cared about was the fact that she'd dragged Adonis over with her. I gaped at him like a fool, and he laughed nervously.

"Uhm, hi. I'm Edward. Edward Cullen." He stuck his hand out toward me and he seemed to be waiting for something.

_Oh my… All that _and_ that voice? He will be the end of me._

_What's he looking at me like that for?_

_Oh shit! He's waiting for _me_! _ Talk_, you moron! Shake his hand!_

"I'm… uhm… I'm… I'm Bella." I reached out slowly and shook his hand. But not in a conventional handshake way. My own hand was shaking so violently it shook his hand for me.

Edward laughed again, more genuine this time, and firmly shook my hand. Then, Heaven help me, he pulled me forward slightly and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"I get the feeling this isn't quite your scene either, Bella," he whispered.

I giggled like a child and shook my head. He was right. It wasn't my scene. And I was far too glad it wasn't his either.

"Can't hurt to play along though, right?"

_Stop breathing in my ear, damn it. You don't know what you're doing to me._

"If it makes our cousins and…" he glanced toward Rosalie, "friends?..." I nodded, "feel better about themselves, what harm is it really gonna do?"

"None… I guess?"

"Why so nervous, pretty Bella?"

_Did he just call me pretty? Kill me now, he just called me pretty…_

"What? I'm… I'm not… I'm not nervous."

_Smooth, Bella. Real smooth._

Finally, Adonis backed up and stopped putting dirty thoughts in my mind with every exhale.

"It really is an appropriate name," he affirmed.

"What is?"

"Bella, of course. It's Italian, isn't it? Meaning 'beautiful' or 'sweetheart'? It's been awhile since I've studied the language… I could be wrong… but I don't think I am," Adonis stated with a wink.

_Sweet Jesus, he just winked at me! And called me beautiful… Did I get hit by a bus on the way here? Is this Heaven? Things like this happen to people like Rose, not me. I must be dead. This must be Heaven. I can be dead if Heaven comes with Adonis._

"Bella? Helloooo? Bella?" he was laughing and waving his hand in front of my face. "Anybody in there?"

_Right. Daydreaming mid-conversation is bad._

"Oh! Sorry, Adon— Edward!" I stammered.

_Oh God. That was humiliating. Mental note: no more thinking of him as Adonis._

"What did you just almost call me?" There was a wicked smirk playing on his lips. I wanted it to go away. I wanted to wipe that smug, all-knowing look from his face. No… I wanted to _kiss_ that smug, all-knowing look from his face.

"Nothing. I just… I must've confused you with someone else. That's all. Sorry."

"No problem," he chuckled.

"Okay, everyone! Focus! We've got work to do! Rosalie's brought us some great new ideas…" Alice called the meeting to order.

Well, the meeting, minus one usually semi-attentive member.

I could hear Alice somewhere outside my mind, droning on about marching on Capitol Hill and showing whoever "them" was that we apparently meant business, but the only thing my brain would focus on was Edward. The shiny, bronze hair… the piercing emerald eyes… the way his black t-shirt clung to his well-defined chest and his leather motorcycle jacket accented everything manly about him.

I didn't like motorcycles.

I didn't like leather.

I didn't even like black, unless it was in the form of the all-important Little Black Dress.

But suddenly, I liked them all. I worshipped them all. They were all suddenly fantastically sexy to me.

I spent the entire meeting daydreaming.

In my head, Edward got up from his seat on the floor, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the meeting. He told me we didn't need to go to the stupid meeting and they'd manage just fine without us. He told me he meant every word he'd said about me being beautiful, and said he'd been painfully attracted to me from the moment he laid eyes on me. He pinned me against wall outside and kissed every bit of my flesh he could see, and some he couldn't…

In my head, I stole Edward's jacket from him and threw it on myself. He laughed at my silly, obvious flirting technique. He pulled me close to him. He kissed me with a passion I thought might ignite me. He told me he'd never seen anything sexier than me in his leather jacket. He told me he wanted to see me in _only_ his leather jacket…

In my head, I rode the Harley I assumed Edward had. I climbed on it behind him and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I let my hands wander across his toned stomach and pulled at his t-shirt, untucking it from his perfectly fitted jeans. I rode the bike like a pro... then I rode Edward like a pro…

Then Rosalie whacked me in the arm – hard.

_What the hell am I dreaming that up for?_

She hit me again.

_Shit. Not dreaming._

"Ouch, Rose! What the hell!"

"The meeting's over, Bella. I thought you might like to say goodbye to Edward." She had a lilt in her voice I didn't appreciate. She knew too much. But _how_?

"Yeah. Of course. And, uhm, to Alice too."

"Uh huh."

_Uh oh._

"Alice! Thanks again for everything," Rose began, hugging her pixie friend close. She whispered something in the hippie's ear, and matching mischievous looks spread across their faces.

_Big uh oh._

"Edward! Come over here and say goodbye to Bella!" Alice shouted, winking at me. An evil, horrible, plotting pixie wink. I immediately distrusted this "say goodbye to Edward" plan.

"Oh, and Rose too," she added like it was an afterthought. It _was_ an afterthought. Rose clearly didn't care if Edward spoke to her or not.

Edward strolled casually over to our little gathering, looking dangerously similar to my daydreams. I felt my heart start to race as he got closer.

"Rosalie, it was a pleasure to meet you," he said, sincerely, as he picked up Rosalie's hand and kissed her knuckles. Her cheeks immediately turned red at the old-fashioned gesture.

"Likewise, Edward," she returned, smiling broadly.

"And Bella… lovely Bella… It was most _decidedly_ a pleasure to meet you." He repeated his knuckle-kissing act and I felt my face burning as I blushed profusely.

_So formal…_

"A little, but I find women are usually flattered by it. I can be much less formal next time, if you'd prefer," he whispered in my ear.

_I said that out loud? Uh oh. This guy is bad news for my sanity…_

"I'll see you again at next week's meeting, I hope?" Edward asked, still holding my hand.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world," I replied. My peripheral vision vaguely registered Alice squealing and hopping up and down, clearly assuming I was far more into "the cause" than I was.

"Until then." He kissed my hand again, before gently letting go.

I could still hear his voice in my head and feel his hand on mine when Rose, giggling, pushed me into a cab to go home.

"You like him!" she squealed as soon as the cab started to move.

"Like who?" I questioned, still in an Edward-induced daze.

"Edward!"

"He's… he's okay." I tried to play it cool. I failed miserably.

"He's more than okay, Bella. He's absolutely _gorgeous_! And so charming! You can't tell me you missed all of that."

_I most definitely did not miss any of that._

"He's okay. Nice."

"You want him. You want him _bad._ I can tell."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Rose."

"Care to give me another explanation for the zoning out and the heavy breathing throughout the entire meeting then?"

_Shit. Is that how she knew? No more daydreaming in public for me…_

"I… uh… uhm… I…"

_Yeah, that's the trick to getting her off your case, Bella. Completely incoherent babbling. Idiot._

"I _knew _it!" Rose shouted so loudly and high-pitched I saw the cabbie jump. "You want him so bad. And he likes you too!"

"No he doesn't."

"Uh, hello! Did you even see the way he looked at you?"

_Not really. I was too busy fantasizing about him to notice anything else._

"He didn't look at me any way, Rose."

"Oh yes he did! And he called you beautiful! Three times! Three freaking times, Bella! And he kissed your hand twice! And he's excited to see you at the next meeting!"

"Seriously, Rosalie, are we in middle school again? Should I have you pass him a note for me in study hall?"

"Admit it! You like him! This is exciting. You never like anyone."

"Hey! That's not true…"

"And he likes you," she continued, completely unfazed by my calling her out on her blatant lie. And it _was _a lie. I did too like people. There was… Okay, no, but there was… Wait, what about… Crap, she had a point.

"This is so perfect!"

"You've been spending too much time with Alice."

"You should ask him out."

"Uh, no."

"C'mon, Bella! Women's lib, get with the program already."

I don't know who was happier to see our cab ride come to an end, me or the poor cabbie. I tipped him extra for having to listen to Rosalie squeal like Alice's doppelganger the entire ride.

Rosalie kept nagging all the way up the stairs and into the apartment. While it was refreshing to see her so excited about something, I wished her excitement could have been at someone else's expense.

Just as she was beginning her ninth chorus of "You should ask him out!" chants, I clapped my hand over her mouth to shut her up.

"Rose… it's late. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. And if you don't want me to kill you, you'll stop talking now and you won't follow me. Understand?"

She mumbled something, but I couldn't understand it through my hand, so she gave up and nodded. As soon as I took my hand off her face, she inhaled deeply in preparation for her next high-pitched diatribe. I shot her a look that very clearly said "We had an understanding," and she just let the breath out and cheerfully said "goodnight".

I tried to sleep. I really did. But it was hard with my mind constantly replaying all my Edward-themed daydreams, along with some new ones. And the echo of Rosalie's excited declarations that he was, in fact, interested in me too didn't help.

Much too late for my liking, I finally drifted to sleep, with my mind still playing out all the scenarios it could possibly dream up about Edward. My dreams were a blur of lust-driven fantasies and idiotic school-girl thoughts. One minute we were in my bed and he was on top of me, holding my hands above my head with one of his, looking and sounding far better and sexier than any human had the right to; the next, I was dreaming about the many possible permutations of my name mixed with his and sighing contentedly over the fact that "Isabella Cullen" actually had a very nice ring to it.

There was no question in my mind – I was head over heels for a complete stranger, and I was a sick, disturbed, immature woman.

**EPOV**

_Bella…_

I'd most definitely never met anyone with such an accurately selected name before. Her parents must have been able to see the future or something.

No. If they'd known how stunning she'd turn out to be, they'd never have let her out of the house.

And stunning she was.

And mysterious.

And absolutely alluring.

_What _is_ it about her?_

I'd just met the girl and not only did I feel like I'd know her all my life, but I didn't know what I'd do if she was ever not in it again.

I wanted to be around her. I wanted to know her favorite band, her favorite food, her favorite color. I wanted to know every little mundane bit of info I could possibly learn about her. But more than anything I wanted to know what brought her to that meeting. I sure as hell didn't fit in there, and neither did she. Alice had dragged me in, but what was Bella's story? She said it wasn't her scene.

She wasn't like them.

She wasn't a "free love" preaching, gauzy skirt wearing, peace sign giving hippie.

She was… different…

_I like different._

_

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_

**Didn't I tell you you'd like point B? I probably should have called it 'point E' though, in retrospect. So there, Fer and all you other Edward addicts, there's your Edward! And he's not going anywhere anytime soon. (Or is he? I'unno. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.)**

**I had an entirely different way the meeting Edward bit could have played out, but both my beta and the Mexican-me (I shall call her… Mexi-me.) told me to stay true to my original vision, so this is what you got. If you want to know how it could have played out, I can write it up as a one-shot outtake. Or, honestly, you could probably just listen to "Travelin' Soldier" by the Dixie Chicks. While I don't usually listen to country music, that song gets me every damn time I hear it, and it inspired an entirely new theory on Edward. If you want the outtake, let me know. I might even just write it for myself.**

**But I digress!**

**Reviews are better than dirty public daydreams about Greek gods named Edward Cullen.**

**Okay... so, maybe that's not quite accurate... but they're damn close!  
**


	5. Never Quite Like This

**Y'all ready for another epically long A/N? I thought you would be! I promise I'll make the next one shorter… I just have a lot of news to drop on you fine people this time.**

**Friends! Fans! Readers! Lend me your eyes!  
Okay, enough with the Shakespeare rip-off – it ain't really my style.  
I have less than three weeks left of college, ladies (and gents? Leon, are you out there?), and you know what that means. That's right, it's curricular crunch time and the shit is hitting the fan, so to speak. I have 14+ pages worth of term papers to write – in two different languages – and final exams to study for. Thus, as much as it completely ****sucks****, it might be a little bit before I can update again. But really, you don't want me writing when my mentality can best be summed up by a Linkin Park refrain, do you? Does this sound like a good place to write Bella and Namward from?:**

**I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress  
Handful of anger held in my chest  
Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears  
Nothing to gain, everything to fear**

**Didn't think so. Actually, to be quite honest, "Nobody's Listening" really ****does**** sum up how I feel about writing IHSTR. But that's not a bad thing, I promise. Think about it:**

**I'm ridin' on the back of this pressure  
Guessin' that it's better I can't keep myself together  
Because ****all of this stress gave me something to write on****  
The ****pain gave me something I could set my sights on**

**See? Not bad. It's motivating. Anyway! I digress. Just be a little patient with me over the next couple weeks, okay? Please? Then it'll be summer and I'll be back in action again.**

**Now for happier and more interesting news: Last week when I posted Chapter 4, I got a very interesting and thought-provoking review from Bent05. If you didn't see it, she asked me about Alice's motivation for being the protest-happy little hippie she is. At first, the only answer I could give her was that Alice is essentially me – a born activist looking for her cause. But then I followed the lead of the incredible tara_sue_me and sat down for a little chat with our beloved pixie. (For the record, Fer can testify that I've been doing crazy shit like this ****way**** longer than tara's been posting her chats, so there's no plagiarism intended or involved here.) It went a little something like this:**

**Kim: Hey Alice, I have a silly question for you.**

**Alice: Shoot!**

**Kim: Can't believe I never wondered this myself, but why do you do it?**

**Alice: Do what?**

**Kim: Run that protest group. Why'd you start it?**

**Alice: That's not a silly question at all!**

**Kim: Uh, Al, would you mind taking your Ritalin before we continue this? You're givin' me a migraine…**

**Alice: Sorry! *tones down perkiness by 1/27th of a degree* Can I ask my own question before answering though?**

**Kim: Sure.**

**Alice: Well… why does it matter? This is my cousin's story, not mine.**

**Kim: Actually, it's ****Bella's**** story, but it does matter. It matters because a reader wants to know. And so do I now.**

**Alice: Okay, okay. I do it 'cause of… *whispers* my soldier.**

**Kim: 'Scuse you? Your… soldier?**

**Alice: SHHH! It's a secret!**

**Kim: A secret?**

**Alice: Yep!**

**Kim: Even from me?**

**Alice: No. From ****them****. *whispers* The readers. They can't know yet.**

**Kim: Why not?**

**Alice: *freaks out like Gretchen Weiners cracking over Regina George* 'CAUSE IT'S A SECRET! Er… I mean… can't say.**

**Kim: Can we tell them eventually?**

**Alice: Would that mean I would get my own story???**

**Kim: Seems that way… It would make sense…**

**Alice: Then sure!**

**So there you have it, folks. Straight from the hippie's mouth. Alice is getting her own story. We both hope you'll like it.**

**Last chapter also introduced my silly little reference contest. I was really surprised that I only had one entry, especially since I thought at least one of the references would've been really well-known and easily recognizable. That said, congrats to my good friend, ohyoudo, who recognized the leather-clad Edward as being an unintentional reference to my favorite fic of all time – Wide Awake. This chapter is all yours, bb! Hope you enjoy it! (Oh, and the second reference was Edward's wanting to know everything about Bella – the same thing happened in Midnight Desire.) Contest still rages on this chapter. Only one reference this time, and it's a little vague, but you're really lucky if you recognize it because the story it's from is truly fantastic and totally underrated and absolutely deserves your readership.**

**Finally, I would like to thank everyone reading this for sticking with me, and especially ElizaV and blubuttrfly10 for joining and reviewing. I love hearing from everyone, especially new readers/reviewers. Thanks to Panda for her beta work (and instrumental assistance), and to Fer for her never-ending support and friendship.**

**Don't forget – this one's for ohyoudo! (Love you, bb!) Want your own chapter? A teaser? Something else new and exciting? You know what to do! (Find the reference, duh!)**

**As always, I am not Stephenie Meyer and I cannot take credit for uniting an international family of amazing people through a little masterpiece known as ****Twilight****.**

**On with the show!**

* * *

-------------------

_I have never known the like of this_

_I've been alone and I have missed things_

_And kept out of sight_

_But other girls were never quite like this_

_Mm mm mm mm mm mm_

- "I've Just Seen a Face", The Beatles

-------------------

* * *

**EPOV**

"She works at a coffee shop, y'know."

"So what? I hate coffee."

Alice had been pestering me about Bella since we left that damn meeting three days ago. I loved my cousin, but really, there's a point where enthusiasm goes from being infectious to irritating – and she'd reached that point two and a half days ago.

"You could pretend to like it…"

"Give it a rest, Al."

"They have an open-mic night…" she all but sang to me.

I hadn't performed since I'd left New York, and she knew I missed it. It was a low blow. An annoyingly effective low blow.

"Oh, that's low. Even for someone as short as you."

"Har har. Very funny." She stuck her tongue out at me like an indignant four-year-old. "Really, though. They do. Every Wednesday. You could go."

I kept my mouth shut, pretending to think it over. I was already sold on the idea, but I'd never hear the end of it if I told her so. I was in before she even mentioned the open-mic nights. I just kept hoping she'd tell me _where_ the damn coffee shop was so I could go on my own terms.

She disappeared down the hallway and while I wondered where she'd gone I had a brief flash of hope that she'd decided to give up trying to persuade me.

No such luck.

She returned moments later, brandishing my pride and joy – my Gibson Hummingbird acoustic guitar. The same one Bob Dylan played. She held it by the neck in her tiny hand and gently shook it from side to side, taunting me with the idea of playing it again.

"Drop it and I kill you." I wasn't kidding either. I loved that guitar more than I'd ever loved any human being, including Alice.

"Play it, Edward. You know you want to."

"Fine. I will. Just… just give it here… before you drop it or break it or something."

She squealed with high-pitched laughter and immediately started bouncing up and down in place. I watched in horror as my guitar came perilously close to impacting several things it shouldn't, including the floor. As carefully as I could, I snatched it from her and went to replace it on its stand in my bedroom.

Two nights later, I was standing in the doorway to a less-than-swanky, smoke-filled coffee shop, more nervous than I'd felt in years. I still hadn't decided what song to perform when Alice flitted off to tell the girl running the show that I wanted in.

"You're up third," she told me. "'After a guy who can't sing for crap and a girl who thinks she's Janis Joplin.' At least that's what Jessica said. She said you'd better be good, 'cause the crowd'll be sick of having their ears bleed by the time you're up."

I wanted to laugh. It was funny. But I was far too nervous.

"Relax, Edward! You're gonna be great. You always are." Alice tried her damnedest to calm me down.

I felt nauseous. I wanted to run from the place. I wanted to take my Hummingbird and get the hell out. I wanted to leave and never even think of coming back.

Then, across the room, I saw a waitress setting steaming cups of coffee on a table. One of the patrons must have said something amusing, because she threw her head back in sincere laughter. Her wavy, chestnut hair shined flawlessly, even in the dim light of the coffee shop, and her brilliant smile blinded me from across the room. She touched one of the customers on his shoulder as her laughter died down and she turned to leave the table. My eyes locked on hers as she turned, though I was sure she didn't see me through the smoky haze. I would've known those soulful, chocolate eyes anywhere. I'd thought of them every moment of every day since that stupid meeting Friday night.

Suddenly, I wasn't nervous in the least, and I knew exactly what song to play.

**BPOV**

It was Wednesday night, and that only meant one thing in my world – a long, late night at work full of some of the worst music I'd ever heard.

Open-mic night. Whoever thought that idea up needed to be subjected to it as often as I was. Jessica, the owner of the coffee shop and therefore my boss, insisted it brought in a ridiculous amount of cash. I knew it brought in extra money. She charged people to perform and had us offer "specialty" drinks during the event. I didn't see what was so "special" about crappy coffee with cheap liquor mixed in, but whatever it was, it made me some nice tips. Though I had my doubts as to whether the tips were enough to make it worth the migraines the crappy singing caused.

"Ladies! Gentlemen! Hep cats!" Jessica began.

_Seriously, Jess? No one in this country has used the phrase "hep cat" in over 20 years. I wasn't even _born_ when that was popular!_

"First up, we have Mr. Singer-Songwriter himself, Ben Cheney!" She sounded so enthusiastic about having Ben play. I couldn't figure out how she did it. The man couldn't write a song to save his life, and his singing… well, even _thinking_ about it made me feel a hot trickle in my ears.

I tuned Ben's wailing out and did my best to work like it were any other day. I served coffee to my customers and laughed with some regulars I'd come to think of as almost an at-work family. They were the ones who came just to laugh and heckle people like Ben. They were the ones who got me through my Wednesday nights.

When Ben's song finally ended, Jessica got back up in front of the crowd and introduced the next singer.

"Now, put your hands together for Chicago's own resident Janis Joplin – Lauren Mallory!"

_Janis Joplin, my ass._

It was an insult to compare Lauren's shrieking to Joplin. Joplin was brilliant, an artist. She had a gritty, emotional voice that captivated listeners. Lauren sounded like someone was cutting cats in half with a buzz saw.

"Bella, baby, can you do us all a favor and go call the ASPCA?" one of my favorite regulars asked. "Someone really should rescue them poor cats."

I laughed openly at our similar thoughts, and smiled sincerely at him.

"Right away, Mike. I'm on it."

Finally, the single most blasphemous performance of "Piece of My Heart" in history was finished and I mentally thanked whatever higher musical powers might be that the worst was over. It could only possibly go up-hill from Lauren's shrill "singing".

"And now, a real treat! Someone entirely new to the scene…" Jessica began.

_Someone new? Oh crap. Maybe it _can_ get worse after all…_

"Give a warm welcome to a brand new, and hopefully talented, Chicago resident… Edward Cullen!"

_What?!_

I stopped in my tracks, shocked beyond comprehension. It wasn't until I heard Mike's cackling laughter and felt a splash to the bottom of my pants that I realized I'd dropped the full cup of coffee I'd been carrying.

I looked up toward the performance area and saw the same crooked smile and messy bronze hair that had haunted my every thought and dream for the past five days. And those deep, incredible emerald eyes were staring so intently into my own that I thought he might be able to see right through me.

I felt my cheeks begin to burn, and I quickly ducked down to clean up the mess I'd made. While I picked up pieces of splintered ceramic and dabbed at the floor with a napkin from the table next to me, I heard the distinct sound of the microphone being adjusted.

"Uhm… hi… everyone," Edward began. The voice that had sounded so sure and secure Friday night had the strangest hint of anxiety to it now. "It's, uh, not quite my usual style, but I'd like to do something for a special girl out there."

_Oh. He has a girlfriend. __Duh. Damn._

"Questa canzone è per te, Bella carina."

_Italian? Was that my name, or just a word? Why didn't I ever learn Italian?!_

I glanced back up toward the performance area and saw Edward wink at me as he threw his guitar strap over his head.

A very familiar guitar riff drifted my way, followed by the single most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. His eyes never left mine as he sang one of my favorite songs in a voice that wrapped itself around me like a crushed velvet blanket of comfort.

"I've just seen a face  
I can't forget the time or place  
Where we just met, she's just the girl for me  
And I want all the world to see we've met  
Mm mm mm mm mm mm

Had it been another day  
I might have looked the other way  
And I'd have never been aware  
But as it is I'll dream of her tonight  
La la la la la la

Falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again

I have never known the like of this  
I've been alone and I have missed things  
And kept out of sight  
But other girls were never quite like this  
Da da da da da da

Falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again

Falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again

I've just seen a face  
I can't forget the time or place  
Where we just met, she's just the girl for me  
And I want all the world to see we've met  
Mm mm mm mm mm mm

Falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again

Falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again

Oh, falling, yes I am falling  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again"

The sound of that voice mixed with that song was enough to make me completely forget anyone had performed before him. That anyone had _existed_ before him. The feelings his performance elicited in me healed every wound the two previous songs had created.

Every person in the shop was on his feet in a standing ovation to the perfection in front of the crowd. The roar of applause was nearly deafening. Had it been me, I would have run from the building, terrified at the prospect of being the center of such attention. But Edward didn't even notice them – he was still smiling at me.

**EPOV**

The Beatles.

I fucking hated The Beatles.

But they were Alice's favorite band, so I'd been forced to learn just about every song they'd ever released.

I never thought I'd be so happy she'd made me learn that crap. It was the perfect song. It said everything I couldn't say aloud. I just hoped Bella had realized it was for her.

She was staring at me with the strangest look on her face. A mixture between flattery and confusion. Like she was fighting with herself over whether or not I could possibly have meant that song to be for her.

_It was, Bella. It was for you. And I meant it. Every single word of it._

She stood there, staring at me, until I bowed in thanks to the crowd and left the performance area. I handed my guitar to an all too perky Alice – either she knew too much or she thought I sang it because she liked it – and kissed her on the cheek before making a beeline through the crowd toward Bella.

By the time I got to where I had seen her, she'd disappeared.

_I scared her away. I came on too strong with the damn song and scared her away. I… am an idiot._

I walked further toward the table she'd been serving earlier in the night and discovered, the hard way, that she hadn't disappeared at all.

She was cleaning the floor.

And, in a classically suave move, I unwittingly walked straight into her side and tripped over her. I crashed into the cold floor next to her and immediately burst into laughter at my own klutziness. She looked at me, wide-eyed, like a deer in headlights.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I didn't mean to—" she practically shouted at me. I was impressed she could talk faster than Alice.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I laughed. "Nothing bruised but my ego. You?"

"I'm… I'm fine," she muttered as the most attractive shade of red colored her cheeks.

_You most certainly are._

"Was… was that… What was that you said before the song?" It seemed like she had to work up the courage to ask me such a simple question. But I could understand it – just being near her made me nervous and relaxed at the same time.

"You mean 'questa canzone è per te, Bella carina'?" I smiled just thinking of my semi-secret dedication to her.

"Yeah. That."

"It's Italian."

"I know."

"It was a dedication."

"To your girlfriend?"

"What makes you think I've got a girlfriend?"

That beautiful color tinted her cheeks again.

_Jesus, she blushes easily. I think I like it…_

"I… I guess I just… assumed…"

"Why would you make an assumption like that? New in town, remember?"

The red in her cheeks deepened and I thought I might lose my mind and kiss her right then.

"What's it mean?" she asked, abruptly and clearly trying to change the subject.

"What's what mean?"

"The Italian."

"Oh. 'This song is for you, pretty Bella.'"

She looked down toward the floor and blushed impossibly redder.

"Do you… know… lots of people named Bella?"

"No."

"So it was…" she trailed off and I wished she'd just get to the damn point already.

"For you? Yeah."

An exquisite smile spread across her face as she looked up at me, clearly flattered and no longer confused.

"What time do you get out of work?" The words left my mouth before I even realized I'd thought them.

"I don't know. Whenever this gets over and Jess lets me go, I guess."

"Think she'd let you out earlier?" My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

"I've never asked…"

"Allow me."

I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know where I'd take her. All I knew was I was going to convince this Jess person to let Bella out of work early and I was going to spend the entire evening with her.

As soon as I asked Alice to point Jessica out to me, she knew what I was up to.

"That was really romantic, Edward. Really. Very sweet. I'm proud to call you my cousin," she said. "I'll talk to Jess. Bella'll be free in no time. Leave it to me."

And she was right. Alice had a way with words and a charm no one ever expected. She could talk anyone into anything anytime she wanted. Luckily for the world, she only ever used her powers for good… except for making me learn The Beatles.

_I guess that turned out to be good too, though. Maybe I should trust Alice more._

"All set!" She smiled proudly up at me and pointed toward Bella, who was already talking with Jessica and removing her apron.

"Well done, cuz," I said, throwing my arm around Alice's shoulders. Sometimes it came in all too handy to have her as a relative.

Bella appeared in front of us with a curious and gorgeous half-smile on her face.

"I don't know what you two did, but thank you," she said with a light chuckle, her deep brown eyes burning into mine.

"Don't mention it!" Alice chirped. She removed my arm from around her and nudged my hand toward Bella in a less-than-subtle hint that I should offer her my hand. I'd had that thought long before she nudged, and wasted no time taking her hint.

"Ready?" I asked Bella, reaching my hand out to her and pleading her with my eyes to take it.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she cautiously slipped her small hand into mine.

"It's a surprise," I replied, leading her away from my Cheshire cat look-a-like of a cousin and toward the exit.

* * *

**Future chapters get longer, I promise. Hopefully they get better too... Anywho!**

**I'm amazed at how much harder it is to write EPOV than BPOV. Hopefully I did Namward justice. (Yes, I'm coining my own –wards for this fic. I can't help myself. If a reviewer comes up with something better, I'll use that instead.)**

**A few music notes before people decide to behead me: Edward's feelings toward The Beatles are very much his and not mine. I love The Beatles – that's part of why "I've Just Seen a Face" has been used three different times/ways in this story. Lol. I do, however, agree with Bella's assessment of Janis Joplin. I was so born in the wrong decade…**

**Oh! And I don't speak Italian, so I hope I didn't butcher that sentence and offend people. Someone let me know if I made a fool of myself!**

**As per usual, comments = good.**

**Reviews are better than sweet Italian song dedications.**


	6. Right Where I'm Meant to Be

**Hello again, lovelies! Yes, that's right, I called you lovelies. I'm in a surprisingly good mood. Deal with it. :P And I know I said this A/N would be shorter, but I have a lot of love to give. Can you blame me for that?**

**So, I know I said it would be a while until I could update again, and I'm sticking by that... kind of. Things with school have been going swimmingly, I'm three days and two papers away from a diploma, and aside from being stuck in bed with some unknown back injury, my life is going pretty damn well. All that together apparently makes me feel generous. Ergo, update two weeks sooner than I thought possible. That said, it probably _will_ be another two weeks until chapter 7 gets posted. (And I'm excited about that, because chapter 7 is my favorite so far. :D) But, on the bright side, this one isn't as much of a bitchy cliffie.**

**Thank you _so_ very much, each and every one of you, for your reviews and your love and waiting for me and just generally being ridiculously _awesome_. Seeing as how no one won my silly little contest last time (only ohyoudo even tried! That makes me sad, lovelies. Get with the tryin'!), I guess I get to choose who to dedicate this chapter to. And, since that is a _very_ difficult decision to make, I made it much easier on myself. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who's held out for it, everyone who flat-out told me my story is worth waiting for, everyone who wrote me a review so sweet I nearly cried. That's right - this is for _all of you_. Particularly the following, in no particular order:**

**Fer** - for always being there for me no matter what and for coming up with the funniest new nickname for Namward - HarleyRidingHummingbirdPlayingItalianSpeakingOpenMicward is, in fact, win, bb.  
**ohyoudo** - for being incredibly sweet, an amazing friend, and one of my first and most loyal readers.  
**Panda - **of course, for being my beta and friend.  
**bent05** - for sticking with me and inspiring me even when she doesn't know she does.  
**ElizaV** - for reviewing each and every chapter and adding "doppelganger" to her vocabulary.  
**blubuttrfly10** - for not disappearing and for telling me my writing is actually good, lol.  
**mer79** - for staying up ridiculously late just to leave me some of the sweetest comments I have ever gotten.  
**Cherryflavorpez** - for not only being a loyal reader but also a great friend and a kindred spirit.  
**duckie87** - for being a hilariously awesome chick, writing a ludicrously funny fic, and pleading for this chapter in two languages - and getting shot down in five - I'm still working on your banner, bb!  
**jezzeria** - for befriending me in every forum known to [wo]man and being adorably impatient waiting for both Edward and this chapter.  
and finally  
**MrsDazzled** - for being generally amazing, showering me with undeserved praise, and agreeing to be my beta for the upcoming Go Ask Alice.

**I love you all so hard. You have no idea.**

**Contest still rages on. I'm almost positive there's only one reference in here. Good luck (to those of you who try - and that better not just be ohyoudo! :P).**

**Finally, forgive the tacky song choice. It's fitting, and Edwin McCain was rad back in the day. You can't tell me "I'll Be" wasn't pathetically stuck in your head for, like, all of 1998. :P**

* * *

**-------------------**

_I could not ask for more than this time together  
I could not ask for more than this time with you  
Every prayer has been answered  
Every dream has come true  
Right here in this moment  
Is right where I'm meant to be  
Here with you, here with me_

- "I Could Not Ask for More", Edwin McCain

-------------------

**BPOV**

Edward brought me outside holding my hand.

He hailed a cab holding my hand.

He rode several miles in the stuffy backseat of said cab holding my hand.

And he climbed out at our mystery destination holding my hand.

_Navy Pier?_

"Edward, why are we here? It's been abandoned for years…" I was so confused.

"Exactly," he replied with a crooked, mischievous grin.

'_Exactly'? Was that supposed to be an answer?_

He laughed, reading the confusion on my face.

"Bella, if the place has been abandoned for years, what are the odds someone else is here?"

"Slim to none?" I replied, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I instinctively pulled my hand from his. What was I thinking? I didn't really even know this guy. All I knew was he was the outrageously attractive cousin of some hippie pixie freak Rose knew. What made me think I could trust him so implicitly?

"Exactly. No one to bother us. We can sit and talk and get to know each other, without being interrupted by Alice or Rosalie or anyone else."

_Oh_.

"Oh." _Light dawns on marble head._

"What? You didn't think I brought you here to… hurt you or something… did you?"

_No? Yes. Well, no, not really. Only for a minute. A very scary minute._

"Of course not," I said too quickly and definitely too shakily.

"You can trust me, Bella. 'Soft, nougaty inside', remember?" Edward said with a laugh.

I couldn't help it. I laughed with him at the memory of Alice's ridiculous introduction last week. Who tries to sell their cousin like he's a candy bar?

_I'd buy it. I'd buy a crate._

"C'mon," he said, taking my hand again and leading me down the Pier. He stopped at the very end and helped me sit down. My legs dangled off the ledge and I kicked them back and forth like a carefree child, enjoying the slight breeze coming off the water.

Edward chuckled at my slightly childlike behavior and sat down next to me. He dangled his legs off the Pier and I watched as the breeze blew his hair slightly and the moonlight danced in his eyes.

We talked about anything and everything for hours.

He told me about having to move to Chicago after his roommate enlisted. He couldn't afford his apartment on his own either. Apparently playing piano at an upscale Manhattan restaurant didn't pay as much as one might think.

I told him about getting the apartment with Rosalie shortly after graduating from high school. It was the one dream the two of us had ever really had and we'd been saving up for it for years. From fourth grade on, all our birthday and lemonade stand money had gone directly into the "Rose and Bella Apartment Fund" we kept in a shoebox on a shelf in her closet. Until Emmett proposed, getting that apartment had been the happiest day of our young lives.

He told me about Alice dragging him to her protest meeting, insisting it's what his roommate would want him to do – to bring him home sooner. Edward didn't think for a moment the hippies could end the war. He laughed when I told him I thought the same thing and only went to the meetings for Rose.

I told him about Emmett getting drafted and watching Rosalie's heart break repeatedly. I told him about how out of it she had been until she'd received that first letter from the training camp. I told him how terrified I was that the letters might stop, and how if they did, my heart would surely shatter along with Rosalie's. He wiped the tears from my face before I even knew I was crying and held me when I couldn't stop.

He told me he hated the damn war and the politicians for getting us involved. He said it wasn't our battle to fight and we should've just stayed the hell out of it. I sniffled and nodded my agreement, and he pulled me onto his lap and held me even closer. With his arms around me like that, it felt like he was trying to shield me from the horrors of the outside world. I wished he could have.

I never wanted the night to end. I wanted to stay there in his lap on the Pier forever. I wanted to tell him my every hope and fear, dream and nightmare. I wanted to learn his in exchange. But as the sun began to rise, I realized I was just prolonging the inevitable.

Eventually the night had to end. And eventually I had to go face Rosalie's concerned wrath.

"I should probably get you home, huh?" he asked. He sounded reluctant, as though he were upset by the thought of leaving. And though I didn't like him being upset, I liked thinking he didn't want the night to end either.

"I guess. Rose is probably worried."

"She's not. Trust me, I know my cousin. As soon as we left the coffee shop, she told Rosalie where you were."

"Doesn't that leave me with no reason to go home then?" I asked, half-joking, half-hopeful.

He laughed at my eagerness to stick around and kissed me on the top of my head. I smiled up at him and wished he'd kiss me elsewhere.

He looked me in the eyes with a happy smile playing on his lips. The smile slowly faded as his eyes lost their playful look in favor of a slightly darker, more sincere one and he read my mind.

He leaned his head toward me, painfully slowly, and gently put his lips to mine. They were soft and warm and pleading and my dreams had done them no justice whatsoever. For a moment I worried I was daydreaming again. I felt his hand on the side of my face, and I realized my daydreams were never this sweet or delicate.

I kissed him back, and put my hand on the back of his neck, pulling him tighter to me.

His lips parted slightly and he gently took my bottom lip in between his.

He was being so sweet and careful and delicate, and it was everything I wanted and not nearly enough at the same time. And apparently he completely agreed.

He tilted his head slightly and kissed me with passion and urgency. I felt his tongue glide over my lips and didn't even have to think to respond. I instinctively parted my lips, and his soft tongue did the most beautiful dance ever inside my mouth.

I threw both my arms around his neck and hurriedly turned my body so I was straddling his legs. I felt his hand leave my face and wanted desperately for him to put it back. Instead, I felt both his hands on my back, holding me up and pressing me to him. He kissed me with reckless abandon and I let my tongue dance along his. He tasted like honey and spring rain and salt-water taffy, and I knew I'd never get enough of him.

I felt his hand move up my back and into my hair at the same time his lips left mine. He planted soft kisses at the corner of my mouth, on my cheek, along my jaw line, down my neck…

_Oh yes! More._

…back up my neck, right below my ear, on my earlobe…

_Don't stop. Please don't stop. Ever._

I heard his breathing, just as heavy and fast as my own, right in my ear.

_Don't talk. Kiss me._

"We should… really… get you… home, Bella," he whispered breathily.

_Only if you come with me._

I kissed the spot right below his ear and slowly worked my way down his neck, trying to convince him without words that I didn't need to go home. Ever. At least not alone.

"Bella… really… you don't know what you're doing to me."

I kissed back up his neck and whispered in his ear.

"Oh yes, I do. That's kind of the point."

He grabbed my shoulders and held me just far enough away from him so he could look me in the eyes. I thought he was going to tell me to stop. Anger briefly flashed in his eyes, and I thought he would push me off of him. Instead he pulled me tight against him again and kissed me even more passionately than before.

When I broke our kiss – I didn't want to, but a girl has to breathe – he rested his forehead on mine and laughed softly.

"Okay, this time, I mean it," he said. "Time to go home before I never let you go."

"Would that really be such a bad thing?" I said, smiling at him.

Edward laughed and nudged me to stand up, before standing up himself. He took my hand as soon as he was on his feet.

"Let's go, you. Before Rose thinks I'm keeping you."

"You're not?" I asked, the tiniest bit disappointed. I hadn't missed the possibility of a double-meaning in the word "keeping", and already I couldn't stop myself from reading into it.

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I put my arm around his waist and looked up at him, waiting for an answer.

"I'm insulted," he replied, clearly pretending to be offended.

"Insulted? Oh _really_? Why's that?"

"Do you really think I'm foolish enough to let you go more than temporarily?" he asked sincerely. "You really think I'm dumb enough to suddenly be the luckiest guy in Chicago and just throw away the best thing that luck has brought me?"

I smiled and, for once, didn't care as I felt the familiar heat flood my cheeks.

"I don't think you're dumb. Or foolish," I replied.

"Good…"

He bent down and kissed my lips softly, like the first time all over again.

"Because I don't think I'll ever want to let you go."

I smiled contentedly and rested my head against him, loving the feel of his arm around me, as we walked back toward the street.

I held his hand, smiling so widely it hurt my face, as Edward tried to hail a cab.

I laughed heartily when he failed to do so.

When he turned on me, lifted me up by the waist like I was weightless, and picked on me for picking on him, I squeaked the same happy squeak I'd heard Rose utter so many times in the past.

And when he declared he would just have to walk me home himself, I thought my heart might combust in my chest.

I was pretty sure I was certifiable, but I didn't care.

I was in love.

* * *

**So, Bella just threw me into the same plot-hole trap that I've found irritating in other fics, and I'm not speaking to her for it, but it's her story, so I really don't have the right to change it. It's not that I don't necessarily believe in "love at first sight"; I haven't decided if I do or not. It's more that she has the same instantaneous head-over-heels lovesick puppy thing going here that she does in so many other fics (not to mention the movie. *sigh*). I just hope it's believable. I think it is. (I've been told by those who would know best that it's not only believable, but relatable.) I mean, I'm a hardcore Jasper fan all the way, and I'm falling for Namward, so…**

**Anywho! I'll let you guys be the judges. Do you believe Bella's story? Let me know.**

**Reviews are better than passionate kisses at Navy Pier.**


	7. I Feel the Earth Move

**'Allo, 'allo, 'allo. Didn't think you'd see me back this soon, did you? Well, neither did I. But apparently I have a _completely_ unspoken agreement with duckie87 that if she updates I have to, so I guess you have her (and the hilarity that is Drunk Ben) to thank for an unexpectedly early update. Well, her and Bella. Bella's been generous to the point that I'd damn near consider her loquacious at this point, so things are flowing slightly more smoothly than I'd anticipated.**

**I guess I have some business to attend to, including some that I majorly effed up last time. I forgot to tell you guys the references. Chapter 5's reference was open mic night itself, a tiny little accidental homage to the greatness that is One More Shot by calin_durus and kermit. (Which, by the way, updated today with a seriously fantastic update that just about left me in tears.) Chapter 6's reference was the pier. I'm actually kind of surprised no one caught that. It was a reference to Holding Out for You by ObsessingOverEdward, an incredible B/E fic with a plot I would never have thought of. That fic has crushed my little heart and lifted me back up so many times I can't even count.**

**The references (that's right, _references_, plural - there are two) in this chapter are much more obvious and are from my absolute favorite fics of all time. Hands down the best work the fandom has to offer. If that doesn't flat out tell at least six of you which stories they're from, I might just die of shock.**

**That said, this is officially my favorite chapter thus far. And not just because it's the longest one yet. I love pretty much everything about this chapter. Hopefully that doesn't sound like I'm gloating... if it does, I don't care. Really. I love it. Hard and repeatedly, right Fer? :P  
_Speaking of Fer!_ She was my 50th review! Hot damn. Inspiration, first reader _and_ 50th review?! Never saw that comin'. I'd dedicate this chapter to her for it, but it's already her damn fic, so no. :P  
I'm gonna go ahead and dedicate this one to Soccer11 who just joined our little party here. Better late than never! Welcome, bb! Glad you could come. Feel free to hang your coat in the closet and grab some punch. Hors d'ouvres are on the table over that way...**

**Read, enjoy, and review, loves! I just saw _Movin' Out_ for the third time and I'm feelin' pretty Nam-centric... maybe a little bit of love sent this way will convince Bella and Edward to talk to me...**

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_I feel the earth move under my feet  
I feel the sky tumbling down  
I feel my heart start to trembling  
Whenever you're around  
I just lose control  
Right to my very soul  
I get hot and cold  
All over, all over, all over, all over_

- "I Feel the Earth Move", Carole King

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EPOV

"Where have you been? Did it go well? Tell me _everything!_"

The second I opened the door to the apartment, Alice was bouncing up and down and demanding information. It was as though she'd been standing in that same spot, only inches from the door, waiting for me all night.

I glanced at the clock on the wall across from me. _6am?! Jesus. She's even crazier than I give her credit for._

"Alice, it's six-o'clock in the morning," I pointed out, hoping she'd take the hint and leave me alone so I could just go get some sleep.

"I know! You've been out for, like, _ever_! That means it _must_ have gone well. Now spill!" I would have sworn she was actually vibrating with excitement. It was making me seasick.

"Jeez, Al, how much coffee have you had?"

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"I'm not. You just look like you're about to explode."

"You're stalling."

"And you're annoying."

She smiled a ridiculously bright and energetic smile for the hour, and brushed off my blatant insult.

"You know you love me. Now tell me!"

I sighed heavily as the remnants of my own far more well-contained excitement faded away and exhaustion took their place.

"I'm going to bed."

"Fine," she conceded, clearly unhappy about having waited so long for details she wasn't going to get from me. "But we're talking about this again when you wake up!"

"Like hell we are," I muttered under my breath as I headed toward my room.

"Then I'll just call Rose and get her to tell me!" Alice shouted to me from the other room.

_What the hell… does that girl have supersonic hearing or something?_

"Whatever," I mumbled, shutting myself in what I sincerely hoped would remain the only surely Alice-free zone in the entire apartment.

I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes. My mind immediately wandered back to the Pier, back to Bella. I had never felt that comfortable with anyone before in my life. I had never opened up to anyone the way I had opened up to her. And I was fairly certain she'd never told anyone else some of the things she told me. She didn't seem the type to let her fears or trepidations show, to let her guard down the way she had with me. It had been painfully obvious from the moment I met her that there was something bubbling beneath the surface, something she tried her hardest to hide from the rest of the world. And I was nothing short of honored to be the one there to hold her when she finally let it out.

It had made me absolutely miserable to see her cry; a tiny piece of my heart broke with each tear she shed. But I knew she needed it. More than I knew it, I had _felt_ it. She just needed someone to be stronger than her for once, someone to hold her and let her know the world wouldn't cave in on her if she let her guard down and just _felt_. And I needed to make sure she knew I could and would be that someone for her, any time she needed it.

BPOV

_It's late._

_Some might call it early._

_You're still out with the leather-clad dreamboat._

_We __will__ talk about this in the morning._

_Don't even think about sneaking out the window._

_Love,  
Rose._

I could hear her poorly suppressed squeals just reading the note taped to my bedroom door.

I let out a slightly exasperated sigh at the thought of the conversation Rose would inevitably push upon me tomorrow – _today, really _– and let myself in, leaving the note. I wasn't looking forward to her overly excited third degree, but, if I was being honest with myself, I did like the idea of getting to recount my evening with Edward.

It had been like something out of a dream. Clearly not one of my own; I was never that lucky, even in my own dreams. I wanted to find whoever really had dreamt Edward up and apologize for stealing their fantasy… and then thank them profusely for coming up with him at all.

_Or maybe I should just start at the source…_

_I could bake some cookies or something and have Alice send them to his parents. What kind of cookies say "Thank you so much for procreating. You've done a magnificent job."? Peanut butter? Chocolate chip? Maybe pie would be better… Or I could just write it on cupcakes…_

_Be realistic. Baked goods say "Welcome to the neighborhood" not "Thanks for birthing my own personal God." Head out of the clouds _now_, Swan._

But that was so much more easily thought than done. I lay there for what felt like hours, watching the early morning sunlight dance across my room and thinking about how truly amazing the night had been. I was in awe of how easy it had been to just be myself around Edward, how he brought the real Bella out in me, the vulnerable Bella who needed a shoulder to cry on more than she even knew. I'd hated crying in front of him, hated feeling weak and needy. I'd felt like my overt emotional display might frighten him off and make him disappear like the mirage I knew he had to be. But he didn't even flinch. He just pulled me onto his lap and held me. He did exactly what I'd needed, exactly when I'd needed it most. It was like he knew me, _really_ knew me. Almost like he could read my mind or something. It was disconcerting and fantastic at the same time, much like Edward himself. And I absolutely adored it.

The next thing I knew, a loud and obnoxious banging noise was echoing through my room.

_What the hell is that? And when did it get dark? Shit, how long have I been asleep?_

I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 7:38pm.

_Jess is gonna kill me!_

"Bella! Get up now or I'm coming in!" Rosalie bellowed from the other side of my door as the banging resumed. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I got up and went to open the door. Not because I was ready to face Rose's police-style interrogation, but just to keep her from knocking my door down in her excitement.

"Jesus, Rose. Break my door, why don't y—"

Before I could even finish my snarky comment, she grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into the living room and over to the couch.

"So? Spill!" she demanded as soon as my butt hit the cushion.

"Rose, I don't have time for this. I need to call Jess and apol—"

"Taken care of! She called hours ago and told me to tell you to take the day off. She, uh, figured you were out late last night and deserved a break," she said with an obnoxious, gossip-demanding grin. "That's why I didn't barge in and wake you up earlier."

"Oh…"

"So spill already! What happened? Where'd he take you? Tell me _everything!_ Alice has been calling every half hour hoping for details, and I'm sick of having nothing to share. You know how irritating she is when she's disappointed."

"There's nothing to 'spill', Rose." I tried to stay as calm as I could as I was barraged by memories of the night before. Edward's song, his Italian dedication, the Pier, his arms around me, his lips…

_Ohhh, his lips…_

"Liar. You're blushing like crazy."

_Damn._

"I'm not lying. There's not much to tell at all. We just went down to the Pier and—"

"_Navy_ Pier? Why the hell would he take you there? That place is like a freaking ghost town."

"Exactly." As soon as I said it, his words and his voice echoed through my head. _"Exactly. No one to bother us…" I love that voice. Please, by all means, haunt me some more, Phantom Metatron._

"That's creepy, Bella."

"No, Rose, it really isn't. It wasn't. It was… sweet."

"Sweet? He took you to a deserted pile of scrap wood, and you call it sweet?"

"If you're gonna make fun of it, I'm not gonna tell you anything."

"Fine, fine. It's sweet. I'll take your word for it." She didn't look the least bit convinced as she cringed, no doubt focusing on the splintered wood and dirt. I loved Rose dearly, but really, she was as high-maintenance as they come. _Some people just don't get the beauty of low-maintenance…_

"It _was_ sweet. He just wanted to be alone so we could—" She got a devilish grin on her face and I immediately knew her mind was on vacation at its summer home in the gutter. "So we could _talk_, Rose! Just _talk._ Get to know each other, y'know?"

"Wait, let me get this straight… You were gone for, like, _eight hours_ and all you did was _talk_?"

"Yeah."

"Liar."

"I am not lying!"

"You so are! Not even _you_ could be alone with someone _that_ swoon-worthy for _that_ long and only talk."

"Why is that so hard to believe? Just because you and Emmett can't be—" I cut myself off as soon as I realized the name had left my lips. Rose immediately stiffened. She looked as though I had just slapped her across the face.

"Rose… I... I am _so_ sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to…" I just couldn't find the words. I didn't even know what I was trying to say.

Rose exhaled sharply and made a visible attempt to steel herself and keep her obvious pain from showing too much. It was something I'd seen her do frequently over the past several months. And it was something I instantly detested myself for bringing out in her.

I expected her to straighten up, hold her head a little higher than she did naturally, and insist she was okay, like she always did. I expected her to pull herself together faster than was actually possible and put her "strong, independent woman" face on.

I didn't get what I expected.

Her face fell as she looked at her lap and a solitary tear streaked down her cheek.

"Rose?"

"No letter, Bella," she responded so quietly I was sure I had heard her wrong.

"What?"

"I… I didn't… No letter today," she mumbled as the tears came faster.

_No… letter… Oh God. No. Nonono. It can't be._

"I'm sure it's just… lost in the mail somewhere."

_Who are you trying to convince? Rose… or yourself?_

"Yeah."

I leaned across the couch and wrapped my arms around her. She put her head down on my shoulder and I stroked her hair comfortingly while she cried. It was a pattern we'd fallen into since Emmett had left. A pattern I sincerely hated having to continue.

After a much shorter time than usual, Rose sniffled and sat back up in her seat. She smiled slightly, wiping the tears from her eyes, and strode off into the kitchen, leaving me alone on the couch in stunned silence. She came back after a short moment, carrying a rectangular white box.

"This is how I know you were lying, by the way," she said, handing me the box. A sly smile graced her tear-stained face, and I wondered how she managed to look beautiful even when devastated and scheming.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Open it and find out."

I laid the box on my lap and carefully lifted the cover. My eyes widened in surprise as I saw at least a half-dozen flawless, deep red roses bundled together with a gorgeous soft pink ribbon. On top of the flowers was a hand-written note.

_Bella carina,_

_Nine roses – one for each hour I was so blessed to get to spend with you last night. I wanted to get one for each moment I've thought of you, but the florist didn't have nearly enough. She also didn't have a ribbon that more perfectly matched the beautiful color of your cheeks when you blush. It doesn't do you justice, but the pink will have to do._

_I hope you don't have plans for tomorrow night after the meeting. If you do, I intend to change them._

_Yours,_

_Edward_

"He's a keeper." Rose nudged me with her shoulder.

"Yeah, I think he is," I replied softly as a smile spread across my face.

EPOV

"He bought her flowers?! No way!... Oh my God, that's so sweet!... He did _not_ write that!... Oh my _God!_... Awwwww!... _Does_ she have plans?..."

I hated eavesdropping on Alice's high-pitched, high school-ish phone conversation. Not because it was rude; I didn't care about being rude as far as my cousin was concerned. Our apartment had paper thin walls and she was the queen of eavesdropping. I figured it was just fair play that I should eavesdrop back when the situation warranted it. And this situation most definitely warranted it. I had important shit to find out, and Alice's squeaky, obnoxiously girly, one-sided conversation was a means to an end.

"…You're both coming to the meeting, right?... Don't give me that 'of course we will' crap, Rose, you were late last time!... 'So what' nothing! You know we need everyone we can get!..."

_Get to the damn point already, Alice! You didn't call her to talk about the stupid meeting!_

"…You'd _better_ be there! I can't work without you at this point. You're my Idea Woman!... It's like wing-woman, only for ideas instead of guys… It is _not_ stupid!..."

_Actually, it is. It's _really_ stupid. Now get to the important stuff so I can stop listening to this drivel._

"…Yeah, yeah. You're right. I get sidetracked easily… I do _not_ have the attention span of a retarded squirrel! Rosalie Hale, you take that back!... Stop laughing, damn it!..."

I couldn't blame Rosalie for laughing on the other end. I was having a hard time containing my own laughter. That might just have been the most accurate description of Alice I'd heard to date.

"…So she _doesn't_ have plans?..."

_Yes!!!_

"…Great! I know _EDWARD_ will be excited to _HEAR THAT_…"

_Shit, busted. Be cool, Cullen._

"I _am_ excited to hear that, Alice. Really excited. Thanks for doing my reconn for me."

_Smooth._

"You _ARE_ eavesdropping! I _KNEW _it! You sneaky little piece of shit! Get out here!... Rose, I'm gonna have to talk to you later. Right now I have a cousin to kill."

I strode confidently into the living room and leaned against the doorframe like James Dean. _That's right, I'm a rebel and I don't need no damn cause. Bring it on, pixie cuz._

"You rang?" I asked coolly.

"Oh, get over yourself, Rebel Without a Clue. And stop freaking eavesdropping on my phone calls!"

"I wouldn't call it 'eavesdropping', really. With how loud you talk I'm pretty sure everyone in the building knows Bella doesn't have plans tomorrow night and you have the attention span of a retarded squirrel." I snickered recalling Rosalie's fantastically witty insult. _Mental note: Thank Rose for that one. 'Cause I'm definitely stealing it._

"Har har."

"You know that was funny."

"Shut up."

"Say what you want, Retard Squirrel. It was funny."

"Whatever," she scoffed and quickly changed the subject. "So! What're these big plans you have for Bella tomorrow night?"

"Who said they were big?"

"Shut up and tell me."

"Pick one. I can't do both."

"Jesus, are you my cousin or my brother? Just tell me."

I chuckled and walked over to sit next to her on the couch. "I don't know, Al. Really. I don't have plans… I just wanna spend time with her."

"Awwwww! My big cousin's got a crush! Isn't that precious?" she cooed annoyingly, pinching my cheek like a doting grandmother might do to her precocious grandchild.

"Cute. Real cute."

"I'm kidding. I think it's sweet."

"Sure you do."

"No, really. I do. The roses? Really sweet. And the note? Wow. If you weren't my cousin…"

"That's disgusting."

"What? You just said I was cute." She stuck her tongue out at me, and I reached over and ruffled her hair with my hand. She shrieked and pushed me away like I had leprosy or something. "Hey! Do you have any idea how much work goes into making me this cute? Hands off!"

She spent several minutes running her fingers through her hair and shaking her head like a wet poodle trying to dry itself off in a feeble attempt to fix the damage I'd just caused. I laughed at her shameless display of vanity while I thought over my lack of plans for the following night.

I hadn't thought about what to do before sending Bella the flowers and note. I just wanted her to know I cared and wanted to spend time with her. None of the ideas I'd come up with since then seemed good enough. I'd considered taking her to dinner, but it seemed so clichéd and none of the restaurants I knew of said "Bella". They were all either too fancy for either of us to be comfortable in or not nice enough to deserve her presence. I thought about movies, but there was nothing good out – _and_ it was beyond clichéd.

"Make her dinner, you dumb shit," the twitching poodle imitating my cousin said. Alice had always been too perceptive. Her intuition sometimes bordered on mind reading. And she had an uncanny – _though suddenly very helpful_ – ability to predict people's reactions to things.

"You think?"

"Yeah. Girls love that. I'll help you." It was hard not to laugh as her voice shook with every word. She sounded like she was nonchalantly riding out a powerful earthquake.

"Al, maybe you should stop… _that_… if you're gonna talk."

She sighed heavily and glared at me like I was the anti-Christ. "Yeah. It's not like I can fix it now _anyway_, thank you very much."

"Don't mention it," I returned with a wise-ass grin. She whacked me on the arm. "Little violent for a war protester, aren't ya?" She slapped me upside the head.

"As I was _saying_… You should make Bella dinner. I'll help you. We can make something special and set it up all romantic with candles and everything. And I'll go out with Rose for the night so you can have the apartment."

She could be annoying as hell sometimes, but at that moment I wouldn't have traded her for anything.

"That'd be fantastic. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," she smirked back at me. "I'll call Rose back and do a little more reconn, find out what Bella likes to eat. _You_ clean this place up. I'm not letting you bring her back here with it looking like… well, looking like you live here."

BPOV

Rose had been on the phone with Alice for over two hours after I told her about the Pier. They were planning. Not the meeting, of course not. _That_ was taken care of a week ahead of time. More importantly, _that_ was actually their business. Instead they were planning my date with Edward, and they both adamantly refused to tell me anything about it.

"For the last damn time, Bella, it's a _surprise_," Rose insisted as we got to the meeting that Friday night. "All you need to know is that you're leaving with Edward after this and you're going to love it."

"Can't I at least know where I'm going?" I begged.

"No."

"Damn it, Rose. I don't like surprises! You know that!"

"Well, you're gonna _love_ this one."

As soon as we opened the door to the meeting room, Alice bounded toward us with a bigger smile than I thought her tiny face capable of holding. "Bella! You're here! Great!"

"Hi to you too, Alice," Rose joked.

"Yeah, hi, Rose," Alice returned, completely oblivious to Rose's sarcasm. "C'mon, Bella! Sit over here!" She grabbed my wrist and dragged me toward the front of the meeting, where what I was sure was the largest bean bag chair she'd been capable of procuring sat. "Sit!" she commanded as she pushed me into the chair.

"Alice, really, I hate these things…" I squirmed awkwardly, fighting off the so-called chair's attempts at devouring me.

"Really? I find them surprisingly comfortable, for hippie furniture." Crushed velvet luxuriously wove its way around me, and my heart raced as the odd, but now familiar combination of serenity and anxiety overtook me. _I would know that voice anywhere._ I looked over my shoulder and up… and up… and up… until I finally saw the face that had been starring in my every thought and dream for the past two days. _Has it really only been two days? It feels like so much longer…_ "Mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all!" I scrambled trying to move over and make room for Edward to sit, but each move I made only sank me further into the chair. He chuckled and reached his hand out to help me. I slipped my hand into his and before I knew it, he had lifted me from the chair, moved behind me, and sat himself on the chair and me on his lap. "I figure this way you won't have to sit in the chair you hate so much, and I won't have to sit on the floor to be near you," he said with a wink.

"Works for me." I grinned at him and he kissed my cheek, inspiring the all-too-familiar heat of my blush.

"Beautiful. I told you the ribbon didn't do you justice." I blushed even more fiercely. _Knock it off before my face spontaneously combusts!_ He kissed my lips softly._ Actually… on second thought… bring on the fire!_

Both of us bristled as a high-pitched squeal escaped Alice's lips. "You two are _so_ cute! Rose! Come over here and look at them! Aren't they cute?"

"Yeah, we're freaking adorable. Now go start your meeting before your huddled masses yearn to break free," Edward retorted. I couldn't help but laugh. I didn't know anyone else who could possibly have pulled off sassing his cousin with a reference to the Statue of Liberty and actually look cool doing so. _Cool nothing, he's hot!_ I giggled again at my internal monologue. I wasn't about to disagree with myself. "What so funny, beautiful?"

_Oh, right. No one else heard the funny. Way to look like a psychopath, laughing at nothing._

"Nothing. Just you shooting Alice down like that. I know I already 'yearn to break free'." Now that I was sitting with Edward, the idea of an impending surprise didn't seem nearly as horrific. I was anxious to get out of the stupid meeting and find out what it was.

"Then let's go."

"What? No. Alice'll kill us."

"Ha! I've got ten bucks in my pocket that says she's too excited to see us together to be upset about us leaving."

"Really now? Alright, your loss. You're on." I held up my hand to shake his and show that I intended to honor our bet – _and by 'honor', I mean 'collect on'_ – and he took it, shook once firmly, and spun me up off of his lap. "Suave."

"I try. Let's go." He wrapped an arm around my waist and started to lead me toward the door.

"And just where the hell do you two think you're going?" Alice bellowed behind us.

"Told you. Easy money. Pay up," I whispered to Edward.

"We're not dead yet. Money's still mine, babe," he whispered back. _'Babe'… I like the sound of that._ He turned back to face Alice. "We're gonna head out early tonight. I've been all the help I can be this week, and you know where to find me if you need me anyway."

"She's never gonna let that sl—" I started to whisper, but was cut off by Alice's entirely shocking response.

"Okay. Have fun!" she said with a smile before getting back down to business with the rest of the group.

"What was that you were saying about 'easy money'?" Edward whispered into my ear as he led me out the door. I could hear the smirk in his voice as we stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"That's so not fair! You planned that, didn't you? Admit it!" I protested. _I am _so_ not giving him ten bucks for that._

"If I had planned it, I would have bet something better than a little spending cash."

"You're so full of it. That was rig—" I wanted to argue until he said I didn't have to pay him, but he had other plans. His lips were on mine before I could even finish my thought. His hands wove into my hair and pulled me closer to him as he deepened the kiss.

I was distractedly reveling in the sweet taste and feeling of Edward's tongue roaming my mouth when I realized he was gradually walking me backward. My back hit the hard brick wall and the daydream I'd had the week before came rushing back to me. Only it wasn't a daydream. He really was pinning me up against the wall, and his lips really were furiously attacking mine. And again my dreams had done his physical talents no justice whatsoever.

I leaned my head back against the wall to catch my breath and felt him plant soft but frantic kisses down my neck. It was like open-mic night all over again. _Yeah, only WAY better_. His hand ran slowly down my side until it reached the back of my thigh and he hitched my leg up around his hip. My heart was racing and I couldn't have breathed evenly if I'd wanted to. I reached up and tangled my fingers into his hair, pulling him tighter to me and showing him that I wanted him as much as he seemed to want me, if not more. A low groan rumbled through his chest and I giggled slightly, elated to know I could make him do that. I tugged at his hair again and was rewarded with another groan… and the feeling of his teeth scraping lightly against the skin where my neck and shoulder met. I gasped and then moaned, much too loudly considering our location, at the sensation.

"Two can play at that game, baby," he practically growled against my throat.

"I have no idea what game you're talking about," I panted.

"Oh you don't, do you?" he asked, pressing himself harder against me and running his teeth against my neck again. I couldn't help it; I moaned a second time at the dual sensations. Feeling his teeth on me in raw passion like that was overwhelming, but it was feeling his arousal in other ways that did me in. _That _has_ to be painful in those pants…_

"It is, but I'm not about to do something about it on the street."

_Not again! Think _quieter_ next time, Swan!_

"Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private…" I suggested. "We'll never hear the end of it if Alice or Rose comes out here." _And when I say 'private' I mean 'Your bed or mine?'._

_Wait… Where did that come from? When the hell did I turn into Rosalie?_

"Good idea," he breathed against my shoulder, slowly letting my leg slide back down his so I could stand on my own. "Besides, I have a surprise for you." He held my face in both his hands and kissed me softly on the lips, a stark contrast to his kisses only moments ago. _How does he recover so damn quickly?! My head's still swimming from the lack of oxygen!_

He ran his fingers down my arm until they reached mine and he intertwined them. "My bike's this way." _Sweet Jesus, he _does_ have a Harley!_ The remainder of my previous daydream came flooding back like a tidal wave and I nearly collapsed on the pavement as my knees went weak at the image. "You gonna make it?" he chuckled, winding his arm back around my waist and helping me keep my balance.

_I sure as hell hope so._

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He led me down the block a bit and then rounded a corner into a dark alley. There amongst the grit and gloom was a shiny black mechanical wonder that eerily resembled the one in my daydreams. My breath hitched just thinking about the possibilities that bike had.

"It's a '66 Harley," he informed me. "Ever ridden one of these before?" An innocent enough question, but I was not in the frame of mind for innocence.

"Not yet," I said in the sexiest voice I could manage, letting my eyes roam his body shamelessly. I walked over to the bike and ran my fingers slowly across the seat before swinging my leg over and straddling it. I put my palms down on the seat in front of me, mere inches from where my thighs met the leather seat, and leaned forward slightly. "Am I doing it right?" I looked up into his gorgeous eyes and noticed they were darker than usual as they burned into mine. _Bella the Seductress: 1. Edward's Libido-Weakened Willpower: 0._

He cleared his throat roughly and shook his head, seemingly trying to clear his mind. "Uh… yeah. It's… uhm… It's pretty straight-forward." He climbed on in front of me and I wrapped my arms around his chest and ran my nails down the front of him until I felt the cold metal of his belt buckle on my fingertips. He sucked in a sharp breath and turned to look at me. "You gotta… not do that when I'm driving, 'kay?"

"Mhmm. Whatever you say." _Interpret that how you will._

"Just hold on tight," he instructed. _I'd be glad to._ I clasped my hands together against his stomach and held myself as close to him as I could. "Ready?" _You have no idea._

"Yup," I replied, popping the p at the end. He did some complicated maneuver I could never even hope to try and the bike roared to life.

"Hang on tight, baby," he shouted and I clung to him, pressing the side of my face into his back. He revved the engine and we shot off into the night, my hair cascading in long, windblown waves behind us. "And don't worry about paying up on the bet. I already collected."

* * *

**Told you that was a comparatively long chapter. Hope I didn't cram too much into it. It was supposed to be all fluff and romance with a hint of citrus, but then Bella had to go and make Rose all angsty for a little bit. Wonder how she's faring while Bella and Edward are off on their date… And why didn't Rose get her letter? Any guesses as to what Edward and Alice made for dinner?**

**Oh, and by the way, I did my homework again. Everything from checking out different types of Harleys to finding out what the weather was like and what time sunrise was on the days this chapter would've taken place. I've been a busy, busy bee.**

**And I apologize to those of you who got numerous update notices about this. FFn is being a total bitch. First it didn't save my A/Ns and now I'm fighting with it over format changes.**

**Anywho!**

**Reviews are better than finding out he really ****does**** have a Harley. (Unless you ask Fer. She might say Harley surpasses reviews.)**


	8. Bella Luna

**Guess what? Yours truly just got her BA in Spanish. Oh yeah. No more classrooms, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks and all that crap. hehe. You know what this means right? Far too much free time to start truly focusing on this story. Love it. :)**

**I'mma try to make this short and sweet. No contest anymore since no one wants to play along. There are references laced within, but no one other than ohyoudo plays with me, so *shrug* no more contest. It was fun while it lasted, love, thanks for playing.**

**Thanks as always to Panda for her beta work and her continual adoration. And for letting me fantasize about kicking her douchey roommate out in the middle of a thunderstorm wearing cleats and flying a kite. ;)**

**This one is for ohyoudo. I struggled a ton with finishing this chapter, and it was only through her guidance and support that I managed to decide what to do with it. Without giving too much away, I know the end won't please everyone. Some people will naturally want to know more, and some people will be happy with where I've left it. If you're one of the ones who wants more, I'm sorry. You're not going to get it. It isn't necessary to the plot, and Bella refuses to tell me enough to write it up. That's just how the cookie crumbles. (hehe. Cookie.)**

**Oh, and you have no idea how long I've wanted to use this song. It just fits so nicely.**

**When last we saw our heroine, she was riding off on the back of Namward's fuckhot Harley...**

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_You are the queen and king combining everything  
Intertwining like a ring around the finger of a girl  
I'm just a singer, you're the world  
All I can bring you is the language of a lover  
Bella Luna, my beautiful, beautiful moon  
How you swoon me like no other_

- "Bella Luna", Jason Mraz

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**BPOV**

"Where are we?" I whispered into Edward's ear as he brought the bike to a stop in front of a tall, brick building.

"Chez Cullen," he replied, his characteristically dazzling smile evident in his tone. "Well, Chez Brandon-Cullen, if you want to get technical about it. But for tonight, just Chez Cullen."

"This is… your place then?" He dismounted and offered me his hand. I took it and hopped gingerly off the bike. He spun me around once in front of him like a ballerina and I laughed, feeling the most carefree and youthful I had in awhile.

"That it is." He wrapped his arm around my waist and smiled charmingly down at me. "Shall we?" I smiled back and nodded as he led me through the front door of the apartment building. We climbed so many stairs I started to think his apartment must've been a penthouse suite before he pulled me through a drab metal door and into a dimly lit hallway. He stopped walking when we reached a dark, wooden door with a bronze _934_ bolted to it. "Ladies first," he said, pushing the door open and motioning with his arm for me to enter.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Not the apartment. The apartment itself was quite average – it looked almost identical to my own, but with little touches of Alice here and there. My eyes barely even registered it as my gaze zeroed in on the set up of the petite kitchen and dining area. The small, round wooden table had been covered with a white tablecloth with lacy edges. Blood red roses were splayed across the middle creating an incredibly gorgeous contrast, and unlit, off-white candles of various sizes lined one side.

"Is this all for us?" I asked, walking toward the kitchen to get a better view. _Alice has really outdone herself…_

"No. It's all for _you_." Edward grabbed a box of matches from the counter and proceeded to light the candles before pulling out a chair and gesturing for me to sit. He turned his attention to an arrangement of pots on the stove I had completely failed to notice and I watched with intense curiosity as he turned several burners and the oven on and appeared to season various items.

"Edward… this is…"

"Perfect?" His voice had a cautiously hopeful edge to it.

"I was going to say unnecessary." The look in his eyes when he turned from the stove nearly broke my heart. It was so disappointed, almost crushed. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant… well… I don't need all this."

"But do you _want_ it?" I just looked at him, perplexed. Did I want dinner? Of course – I was hungry. Did I want roses and candlelight and all that? Did it really matter? All I wanted was Edward… "Romance, Bella." He sighed deeply before continuing. "Tell me, what did you think of the flowers I sent you?"

"They were beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous..."

"And the note?"

_The note… Is there a non-corny way to say "I honestly considered having it framed because sweeter words have never been written."?_

"It was… I loved it. It was really sweet. No one's ever done anything like that for me before."

That was obviously the response he'd been hoping for, as a satisfied smile crept across his face, making his eyes sparkle like priceless emeralds. "Well, you'd better get used to it." He turned back to the stove and stirred the contents of a sauté pan thoughtfully. "Actually, on second thought… never get used to it. I kinda like how your face lights up when you're pleasantly surprised." I bit my bottom lip to keep my smile at bay and looked down at my hands folded in my lap. "Like how it is right now." _Damn, he's good._

"Can I help?" I asked, peeking back up at him. I almost hoped he'd say no, just so I could watch him as he cooked. It surprised me how much I liked the visual of this alleged "bad boy" doing something so tranquil and domestic as preparing dinner. _You just like that he's catering to you,_ a voice in my head echoed. Maybe I did. It was undeniably nice to feel like someone was taking care of me for a change, and I wasn't about to pretend I didn't like the romantic feel to it all. No one had ever bought me roses before, and candles were only used during blackouts in my world.

"Absolutely." I moved to get up, but he turned his head and spoke again before I could even finish standing. "You can stay put and relax," he finished with a grin.

He buzzed around the kitchen, mixing this and tasting that, always being certain to keep himself between me and the culinary frenzy before him. I tried desperately to sneak even a glimpse of something more than just the shiny exterior of the pots and pans, but he was always two steps ahead of me. I saw my chance when he went to retrieve something from the fridge and I pounced. I sprang from my chair, sprinted the short distance to the stove, and stared victoriously down at… a pot full of water. _Well _that_ was a huge freaking help._ The sauté pan to the right of the water held some strange cream colored, speckled concoction that I could only assume was a sauce of some sort. I reached for the spoon beside the burner, figuring a small taste of the concoction might give me some insight into what Edward had up his sleeves.

"Oh no you don't!" I heard the slightly metallic thud of a large mixing bowl being placed on the hard formica countertop and a strong but gentle hand wound itself around the wrist of my outstretched arm. "Can't you just let it be a surprise?" Edward breathed in my ear, pulling my arm back next to me and hugging me from behind.

"Can't you just tell me what it is?" I retorted.

"You mean the water didn't give it away?" He laughed and kissed the side of my neck before guiding me back my seat at the table. "All will be revealed in due time, my dear. Think you can sit still and stop peeking for about ten more minutes?"

"I can try," I relented.

"Your patience will be rewarded. I promise." He kissed my hand and turned back toward the stove, snatching the mixing bowl from the counter. I watched as he emptied the mystery dish into the pot of water and put a tray of something into the oven, keeping everything carefully concealed with his body. After a few minutes of idle chatter, he removed the pot of water and whatnot from its burner and emptied it into the sink, steam billowing from the basin. My mind worked like crazy trying to piece together the puzzle that was apparently going to be my dinner. _He doesn't look upset, so nothing went wrong… He's not throwing it out and starting over… He must be straining something…_ He lifted a metal collander from the sink and the steam issuing from it acted like a curtain, obscuring my view. He poured the contents of the collander into the sauté pan with the strange sauce and mixed carefully.

"Pasta," I said, more of a statement than a question. It was so obvious now I was kicking myself for not catching on earlier. _The giant pot of water should have been a clue, moron._

"What happened to being patient and letting it be a secret?" His velvet voice was tinged with a disheartening amount of disappointment and frustration.

"I still don't know what kind of pasta it is. Or what you're mixing it into now," I offered. Despite feeling a little bad for ruining his big surprise, I was pleased to finally have even a rough idea as to what he had in store for us.

"And you still don't know a thing about dessert," he teased. _Dessert? Great, more surprises._ He removed the tray from the oven and a dry, scratching sound floated my way as he shuffled its contents around. He hovered over the stove for a moment before turning to face me, a wide, shallow dish in each hand. "Dinner is served," he said with a sly smile, placing both dishes on the table. I looked down at the meal before me and felt my mouth fall open in surprise. _No way. He couldn't possibly know…_

"Ravioli?" I inquired hopefully and still completely surprised.

"_Ravioli di portobello_ c_asereccio._" I raised a confused and mildly impressed eyebrow at him, and the candlelight danced in his eyes as he chuckled at my ignorance. "Homemade mushroom ravioli. Your favorite," he clarified, placing a small, tan wicker basket across from the flickering candles. "And fresh breadsticks."

"How'd you know?"

"I have my ways…"

"Oh really? I don't suppose those 'ways' would have anything to do with yesterday's sudden spike in Rose's phone use, would they?" I accused as he pulled two gaudy, old-fashioned, crystal champagne flutes from a cabinet.

"I won't deny it comes in handy to have an intrusive baby cousin," he shrugged. "Though it'd be handier still if she had better taste in glassware." He shook his head at the glasses as he placed them on the table.

"And what exactly did my gossip-loving roommate tell your intrusive cousin?"

"Just that your mother used to make this every year on your birthday…" he started, pulling a familiar-looking bottle from the fridge. "And that you still have an overabundance of champagne from her engagement celebration."

It was true – the inside of our refridgerator had been a wealthy alcoholic's dream since Emmett proposed. Rose had demanded we hold on to it all for when he returned, and I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face as I realized she'd sacrificed some of her precious bubbly for me. "You didn't go all out and find out my favorite dessert too, did you?"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. It's a surprise," Edward returned with a wink. I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed as he poured us each a glass and took his seat across from me. He raised his glass and proposed a toast. "To the start of something new and wonderful. And to you, my Bella carina." As soon as the nickname left his lips I could feel the heat flood my face. _Call me yours again. Please. _ I hoped the candlelight was too dim to showcase my now red cheeks. "And to that beautiful shade of pink that colors your face when I compliment you." _Damn._

"And to you for putting all of this together," I added, smiling shyly. I touched my glass to his, sending a soft "clink" sounding through the room, before taking a conservative sip.

"I have to confess, I had help. I can't cook to save my life." I glanced down slightly warily at my ravioli and Edward's melodic laughter filled the momentary silence. "Don't worry. Alice walked me through it all."

-----

"You don't give yourself nearly enough credit," I said as Edward cleared the dishes from the table. I'd offered to do it for him, but that idea was shot down quicker than it had been conceived. "That might actually have been better than my mother's."

"I'm glad you liked it. Maybe if you're real nice to me, I'll make it again sometime."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." He turned the faucet on and the soft rush of water became a strangely beautiful sort of background music. The sound immediately conjured images of majestic waterfalls and romantic fountains in my mind. It was odd… Washing dishes had never seemed like a romantic notion to me before. Then again, I'd never had someone else washing the dishes for me, let alone doing so while the room was bathed in candlelight. I picked up a rose from the table and twirled it in my fingers, pondering the possibilities of the whole romance thing.

"But only if I play nice, right?" I lifted the flower to my nose and its delicate petals brushed my skin luxuriously as I inhaled the fragrant aroma. Maybe romance wasn't so bad or overwhelming… _Maybe I could be romantic, too…_

"Right." I stood as quietly as I could and carefully traveled the few steps to where Edward was at the sink. When I was right behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned up on my tiptoes to rest my chin on his shoulder.

"I think I can play nice…" I whispered in his ear, "if you want me to." Water splashed everywhere as the plate he'd been scrubbing crashed back into the sink with a muted thud. "You're more of a klutz than I am." I laughed and pecked him once along his jaw before turning to search for a dish towel.

"Oh, no. That was all you, babe. I had nothing to do with that one," he protested. Before I could argue, my feet were off the floor and my back was crushed to his chest. I squealed and giggled gleefully as he spun me around, amazed that something as simple as this could make me feel so light and carefree. It was better than jumping rope with Rose when we were little, better than singing along with the radio when I had the apartment to myself, better than opening presents back home on Christmas morning. It was… magical… like I was flying. I never wanted my feet to touch the ground again.

Edward stopped spinning and the slightest sense of disappointment spread through me. I knew I'd be back on my own two feet in seconds and I hated the thought. _Please don't put me down_, I pled silently. I felt one arm tighten around me and the other vanish completely, and for a split second I worried he wasn't strong enough to hold me. The second arm reappeared behind my knees and, in a lightning-fast, gasp-inducing move, the first went from wrapped around my torso to supporting my back. Suddenly I was being carried bridal-style from the kitchen toward the living room.

"The dishes can wait."

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**Before I start getting questions about it, no. No sexin' occurred. Bella may have confused romance with seduction (though the two can and do go nicely hand-in-hand), but that doesn't mean anything big went down. *snicker* That was an entirely unintended pun right there, and I can't bring myself to change it.**

**A lot of you left comments saying how much you like that my version of Bella isn't a sexless little weakling, that she doesn't play coy or anything like that… I agree wholeheartedly. Shy Bella ain't my schtick. Hopefully her behavior in this chapter hasn't left you thinking she suddenly changed. Personally **_**I**_** don't think this was OOC for her. I think there's a bit of a seductress in her – just as there is in every woman – but romance, true Edwardian (dual meaning ftw) romance, is new to her. Does that make sense?**

**I pondered the ending of this chapter long and hard (again with the damn innuendo-laced puns) and begged and pleaded with Bella to tell me more so I could clarify, but it just ended so nicely there. I know I all but ****Breaking Dawn****'d you guys, and I'm sorry about that because I know how infuriating it can be, but the lemonade just wasn't flowing. Like I said before, I got some seriously good advice on this one from a good friend: "It will never be wrong if it's written truthfully. Otherwise it feels forced, and loses all credibility. Hence, loses the allure." Best advice I've gotten in this endeavor.**

_**Le ecensione sono **__**meglio di le ravioli di portobello casereccio a lume di candela.  
****(According to the interwebs, that means "Reviews are better than homemade mushroom ravioli by candlelight.")**_

******Oh, and songs/items/other crap related to each chapter can be found at my new webpage, since FFn doesn't seem to want to update my profile anymore. Said webpage is: kimfics(dot)webs(dot)com. Check it out.**


	9. Days of Wine and Roses

**'Allo again, lovelies! I'm gonna try and make this brief...**

**- I was three feet from Jackson Rathbone last night and that'll put any girl in a good mood, thus you get an update before I write a new chapter (trust me, it makes sense.)  
- A couple people commented on the ridiculously pathetic length of the last chapter, and all those comments were right. I apologize. I'm not sure this one is much longer (word count-wise), but I'm working on making them longer as I write new chapters. Thank you for not flaming me over the shortness or anything.  
- As always, thanks to Panda for the beta work and Fer for the inspiration. But a new thank you to the many Jesses and Molly for the randomly awesome chatter that keeps me going. lol  
- Dedication: To mer79, for telling it like it was with the last chapter. Your refreshingly honest reviews feed the writer in me. :)**

**Short enough for ya? lol. On with the show...**

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_The days of wine and roses laugh and run away like a child at play  
Through the meadow land toward a closing door  
A door marked "Nevermore", that wasn't there before  
The lonely night discloses just a passing breeze filled with memories  
Of the golden smile that introduced me to  
The days of wine and roses and you_

- "Days of Wine and Roses", Henry Mancini

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**BPOV**

I twirled the now-dead and dried rose between my fingers, reminiscing about my first real date with Edward. It had been almost three weeks since our dinner at his apartment, and my bedroom still smelled like a florist shop. Whether that was because I couldn't bear to part with the roses he'd sent me or the one I snatched from the table that night, or because he'd delivered fresh flowers of some sort every other day since then, I didn't know. And I didn't care. All I knew was that my room was strewn with various floral reminders that he cared about me, and that knowing he cared was the single greatest feeling in the world.

The Sunday after our dinner he stopped by the coffee shop and surprised me with forget-me-nots, cracking the obvious joke and kissing me once softly on the lips before leaving with an elated and almost childlike smile.

That Wednesday he came to open-mic night and performed the single most beautiful version of "Something" the world had ever heard. His eyes never left mine from the moment he stepped up to the mic to the second Alice dragged him out the door. My face already hurt from smiling when I discovered a bunch of pale pink hyacinths lying on the table on top of a note that simply said "for my Bella carina" in Edward's impeccable handwriting.

At Friday night's thoroughly unproductive meeting he presented me with the brightest yellow sunflower I had ever seen. How he'd managed to find a fresh one in the middle of Chicago was beyond me, but I rather liked the mental image of him surreptitiously traipsing through a stranger's garden just to bring me a flower. It seemed like the sort of thing the rebellious side of him – the side that made my heart skip a beat and my mind wander to horrible places – might do. I wasn't sure when my heart and mind had decided rebellion was sexy, but I would have bet good money it was roughly – _okay, exactly_ – two weeks prior to getting that sunflower.

The following Monday as I let myself in after work I found a tiny bouquet of deep purple pansies hanging like a bundle of fresh herbs from the doorknob. They were tied together and strung up by a delicate satin ribbon that perfectly matched the soft, white edges of the petals. As I carefully removed the flowers from their precarious position I found myself wondering just how many florists there were in the city and how many of them now knew Edward by name.

That Wednesday I actually looked forward to open-mic night. I was growing excited about the new routine we seemed to be settling into, and I was intrigued as to what song Edward would find to dedicate to me that week. Just thinking about him singing to me made me giddy. That was, until Alice called and said they wouldn't be able to make it. She wouldn't say why, just assured me time and time again that it had nothing to do with Edward. But the distressed and almost devastated tone of her voice left me unconvinced and somewhat panicked. I finished my shift in an unfocused daze, leaving several of the regulars with the impression that I was either coming down with something or going completely mad.

I still felt uptight and almost nauseous when I got home that night and found an envelope addressed to "Bella carina" and a sprig of pale purple lilacs taped to my apartment door. The note inside the envelope simply and cryptically read "Stick around and it may show". _What the hell does that mean?_ It sounded so familiar; I knew I was meant to recognize it, but the more I thought about it, the more foreign it seemed. _"Stick around"? Where would I go? And _what_ might show?_ That one simple sentence had me so frustrated and bewildered that I nearly crumpled the note up and threw it and the lilacs in the trash. By the end of the night I'd thought so long and hard that I was fairly sure smoke was pouring out my ears and two plus two was nine.

I planned to call Alice the next afternoon and ask what had happened, but she beat me to the punch as usual. I was getting ready for work Thursday morning when the phone rang, the sound echoing off the walls of the silent apartment and threatening to wake Rose. I lunged for it and before I could even finish saying "Hello?" a sniffly Alice informed me there would be no meeting that week.

"Aw, Alice, you sound horrible. Are you sick? I could make you some soup or something…" I offered.

"No, Bella. I'm fine. There's just… there's no meeting this week." Her voice sounded weak and nothing short of strangled. Either she was lying about not being sick or she'd been crying. I couldn't imagine Alice crying; she was always so perky and upbeat.

"You don't sound fine… You sound like you've be cr–"

"I'm fine, Bella. See you next week," she deadpanned before hanging up. I immediately called her back, desperate for answers and fearing all sorts of horrible scenarios, but no one ever answered.

No one answered when I called Friday either.

Or Saturday.

By Sunday I was cursing myself for not remembering the address of what Edward had jokingly referred to as "Chez Brandon-Cullen". The lack of resolution was driving me absolutely insane, and I was rapidly becoming paranoid about what might be wrong in Alice's little world to make her so… not Alice. I was on the verge of hailing a cab and pleading with the driver to take me to each and every giant brick apartment building in Chicago when a tiny ray of hope shone through my clouded sky.

Just as I was leaving work, a small Native American boy ran up to me, shouting my name and brandishing a seemingly mangled twig with small white and pink flowers on it.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I asked him. _No, I know I don't. I've never seen you before in my life. How the hell do you know who I am?_

He leaned over, resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "No," he panted. "Edward sent me. Said I should look for the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and see if she answers to the name 'Bella'. Never thought I'd get it right the first time. He has good taste." He winked at me and gave me a smirk that could almost have passed for an attempt at Edward's perfect crooked grin. Clearly a graduate of the Edward Cullen School of Charm and Flattery.

"Edward… sent you?" He nodded. "Aren't you a little young to be a messenger?" The boy couldn't possibly have been more than ten or eleven. He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not a messenger. I live downstairs from him. He paid me ten bucks to bring you these," he replied, extending his arm to hand me the twig and yet another envelope needlessly addressed to "Bella carina". _How about saving a tree and just _calling_ me, Edward?_ I turned the twig over again and again in my hand, admiring the flowers' beauty and trying my damnedest to figure out what it was. The boy laughed again. "He said you'd make that face." _Of course he did._ "Said to tell you they're apple blossoms and to 'just read the note'." I had to fight to stifle a chuckle as he relayed Edward's message to me – the kid did a _very_ convincing imitation of the exasperated velvet I'd come to know and worship.

"Will do. Thanks… kid." _Now run along home before this gets _extra_ awkward…_

"Seth," he corrected.

"Seth. Why don't you go tell Edward you completed your mission?"

"Will do!" He winked again, turned on his heel, and made to run back to the apartment.

"Hey Seth!" I called just as he reached the corner. He lurched to a halt and whipped around to face me, cocking his head to the side in curiosity. He reminded me so much of the puppy I'd had as a child that I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing and calling him Sparky. _Sparky. Ha. I was such a creative child…_

"Yeah?" he shouted back from the corner.

"How long did it take you to run here?"

He thought for a short while before shouting, "Maybe a half hour. Why?"

"Tell Edward I said he owes you another ten!"

Even from that distance I could tell his smile was almost as blinding as Edward's. _Kid's gonna be a heartbreaker in a few years._ "Will do!" he shouted back to me before running around the corner and leaving me with my apple blossoms and my note. I leaned against the wall of the coffee shop and opened the surprisingly heavy and curiously bulging envelope.

_Bella carina,_

_I'm okay. I promise. I think I know you well enough by now to know you're worried, and I also know enough to tell you not to be. Everything will be fine. As far as you and I are concerned, everything __is__ fine._

_I'm sorry no one's been answering the phone. I wish I could tell you what's going on, but Alice swore me to secrecy. She doesn't want people worrying about her. All I can tell you is that she got some rather unexpected news this week and she's having a hard time dealing with it. She needs me right now. I know you understand._

_I miss you._

_Edward_

_PS – Happy birthday. I wish I could give this to you in person, if only to see the look on your face._

I opened the envelope again and discovered the absolute last thing I'd expected tucked safely into one corner of the paper. I reached in and pulled out what had to be the prettiest and most… _me_… ring I had ever seen in my life. It was small and silver, and despite being absolutely _covered_ in glittering gemstones it didn't even come close to being gaudy. Tiny, crystal clear diamonds were arranged in a circle, held together by a flower-shaped setting, and at the very center was a small and absolutely flawless blue sapphire… _my birthstone_. It was perfect. _And probably ridiculously expensive._ I didn't know much about jewelry, but common sense said that that many shiny objects in one place certainly didn't come cheap. _He and I are going to have a serious talk about unnecessary spending_, I thought as I slipped the ring onto my finger. I held my hand out in front of me and watched as the stones shone brilliantly in the light from the setting sun. I could almost feel the rainbows of refracted light dancing across my face, causing an unstoppable and elated smile to join them. _Or maybe we won't have that chat after all…_

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That was four days ago. Four long, flowerless, noteless, Edwardless days ago.

I put the rose back on the table in front of me, its papery petals rustling softly against the tabletop, and let out a heavy sigh. The egg timer on the counter behind me dinged loudly, pulling me from my reverie and reminding me I had responsibilities in the real world. I shook my head to scatter away the remnants of my flashbacks and went to remove the lasagna I'd spent half the evening making from the oven. I cut a square out of one corner and plated it, dreading the next part of my new routine. Grabbing a fork from the drawer and a Coke from the fridge, I slowly carried the meal across the house to the door I almost never saw open anymore.

"Rose? Dinner's ready," I called through the door, same as I had every night for the past three weeks. The response never changed, but the hope in me that it would never really died.

"I'm not hungry." _Yes, you are. We do this every night, and every night you end up eating. Make it easy on us both for once._

"You have to eat."

"No, I don't." _Yes, you do. Don't be stubborn._

"Please, Rose? For me?" _Don't make me do it…_

"No." _Fine. Be that way._

"For Emmett?"

Silence. _Works every time._ I cradled the soda bottle with my elbow and opened the door. The scene before me was the same every single night – Rose sprawled across her bed, lying on her stomach with her face in her pillow. The only variation at all was the ever-growing mountain of tissues on her nightstand. I knelt beside the bed and brushed her grungy, unwashed hair aside with my free hand, ignoring the distinct and depressing difference between my shiny silver ring and her less-than-shiny golden locks.

"I made lasagna."

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled into the pillow.

"And I brought you a Coke." I set the plate and the soda on the nightstand and started cleaning up the used tissues.

"Why?" _Well… _that's_ different…_

"What?"

"_Why_, Bella? What's the point?"

"You know the point, Rose. The point is that you have to eat. I'm not going to sit back and watch you starve yourself."

"It's not worth it." She pulled her hand from under the pillow and groped around the nightstand for the soda. She always gave in to her thirst before her hunger; searching for the drink I brought her had become a white flag of sorts, a signal that no matter how much she planned on arguing, she also planned on eating. I sighed in relief and handed her the bottle; she leaned up slightly to take a sip before handing it back to me. Taking care of Rosalie almost made me feel like I had unwittingly adopted a child, and while I loved her like family and wasn't about to let her give in to her despair, I wasn't ready to be a mother, no matter how old the child was. When I looked toward the now-clean nightstand for a better place to put the bottle, I noticed something small and shiny sitting where the tissues had been. _That can't be…_

"Rosalie… what is that?"

"What's what, Bella?" the pillow deadpanned.

"The small, shiny object on your nightstand shaped kinda like a _ring_. That had better not be what I think it is…"

"Why should I wear it?" the pillow asked.

"Why would you take it off?" I returned incredulously and at a slightly higher volume than intended. I couldn't imagine taking off the ring Edward had given me and that had only been a birthday gift. Hers was a promise – several promises wrapped up in one, really. Her sudden rejection of it boggled my mind.

"Engagement rings are for girls with fiancés." _Oh now if that isn't the most ridiculous…_

"You mean girls like _you_?"

She bolted upright and scowled at me with the most furious look I had ever seen on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her lips looked painfully chapped, and for a moment I thought if she shrieked she might turn me into a Banshee too.

"No, Bella, I do _not_ mean girls like me! I mean girls whose fiancés are still alive!" A fresh round of sobs erupted from her before she could finish the last word and she immediately dove face-first back into the pillow. My mouth dropped open in shock. It had been obvious that that was what she thought, but she had never openly _said_ it. The sheer despair in her voice when she tried to vocalize her fears was paralyzing.

I knelt there, stunned, for a long moment, watching her back rise and fall shakily as she sobbed. Her pained sniffs and coughs echoed off the walls and shook me to my core. _Keep it together, Bella. She needs you._ I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled at Rose's shoulders until she sat up enough for me to pull her into a hug. I wanted to say something to comfort her, convince her that what she thought couldn't possibly be true, but I couldn't. The truth was I'd been having the same thoughts for just as long as she had. Only two things had kept me from virtually going to pieces alongside her: Edward's ostentatious floral shows of affection and the knowledge that Rosalie needed me more than she ever had before.

She sobbed into my shoulder for what seemed like hours. When her tears eventually ran dry and the sleeve of my shirt was practically soaked, she sat up and thanked me in a meek and scratchy voice. Her head fell and she stared at her lap as if she was ashamed to have let me see her like that. I reached out and held her hand, squeezing it gently in what I hoped came across as reassurance.

"You have to have faith, Rose. Emmett told you that when he left. All you have to do is believe in him. You can do that, can't you?"

She shook her head sadly. "I don't know, Bella. It's just… It's so hard…"

"I know it is, sweetie, but isn't it harder to feel like this than to just hope?"

"Why should I hope, though? Why hope when there's nothing to hope for? It's been three weeks, Bella. Three weeks and no letter." Her voice trembled and if she hadn't cried for so long such a short time ago, I would have been searching for her never-ending stash of Kleenex.

"That doesn't necessarily mean the worst. It could just mean he's really busy. Or maybe he's been sending them and they're just getting lost in the mail."

"_Twenty-one_ letters do not just 'get lost in the mail', Bella."

"They could…" _No they couldn't. She's right. She's probably right about all of it… NO! Stop thinking that way. Keep it together, damn it. She needs you!_ She didn't need words. She just glared at me with a look that said everything she didn't want to. "Okay. You're right. But, well, in a sense maybe it's a good thing you haven't gotten a letter." If looks could kill, Rose's bedroom would suddenly have been painted in a new color called Bella's Blood. "Really, Rose, think about it. If you're not going to hear from Emmett, isn't it at least better that you're not getting a letter _at all_? You _could_ be getting one from the Army instead." She cringed visibly at the thought. "That's what I thought. Now I'm gonna go reheat our dinner, and you're gonna get up and take a shower and come join me."

"Bella, I don't…"

"No arguing, Rose." I stood and waited for her to do the same. "C'mon, hop to! Don't make me drag you. You know I'll do it. I'll throw you in the shower fully dressed and only turn on the cold water."

"Okay, fine. I'm going." She slowly and begrudgingly rose from the bed. I smiled encouragingly at her before grabbing the now-cold lasagna and bringing it out into the kitchen. While I waited for the oven to preheat, I banished all the evidence of my ongoing romance to my bedroom, leaving only a trace scent of flowers behind. I heard the shower start and allowed myself the tiniest bit of hope that things might be on their way back toward normal. I put the lasagna back in the oven, set the timer, and sat down to wait, allowing my thoughts to drift and concern to flood me. I thought back to the devastated look on Rosalie's face when she'd finally looked at me, to how much she really did need me.

_She needs me right now. I know you understand. _ Edward's words rang out in my head. They redirected my thoughts like a fork in my mental road and I found myself once again pondering Alice's strange behavior. _What if… Alice needs Edward… for the same reason Rosalie needs me? No, that can't be it. She would have mentioned it before. "I'm a one-man kinda woman,"_ Alice's voice replaced Edward's. _Maybe she _did_ mention it and you just never realized… Oh God. Poor Alice…_

A washed and dressed Rosalie emerged from the bathroom, drying her hair with a hand towel. "Dinner's almost ready again, Rose." She grabbed a couple sodas from the fridge, handed me one, and sat down across from me. We sat in awkward silence until the timer dinged once again and I served up our reheated dinner. Conversation flowed only slightly more comfortably as we ate.

"What's wrong with Alice?" Rose asked quietly between bites.

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me when she called."

"Didn't Edward tell you?"

"No. He said she made him promise not to."

"He's why the whole apartment smells like flowers, isn't he?" _Crap. I knew I shouldn't have left them out here so long._

"Yeah."

"The ring's from him too, huh?" _She saw that? Double crap._ "It's pretty. He has good taste." I smiled uncomfortably at her and silently wished she would talk about anything other than the source of my undeserved happiness. "And an endless supply of cash apparently."

I couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out at that. "That's what I thought when I saw it too. The man needs to get a hobby or something to spend his money on instead of making me feel bad for my birthday."

She chuckled softly and looked pensive for a moment. "He's good for you." I nodded my agreement. He _was_ good for me. He was good for _anyone_. I was just lucky enough to be the one he chose to be good for. "Don't let him go."

"I won't."

Our conversation tapered off and a more companionable silence filled the room as we finished our meal. The quiet left my thoughts room to roam and they roamed right back to Alice. If she really _was_ in the same situation that Rosalie was in, I knew how Edward felt. And I knew he'd need someone to talk to about it. _And maybe Rose and Alice could share their stories with each other. It could be good for Rose to have someone more capable of understanding to talk to…_

"Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it be okay with you if I invited Alice and Edward over for dinner? I could make that fondue you really liked… or _coq au vin_…"

"Sure."

"If I did, would I set the table for three or four?"

"I'll come out for dinner, Bella. Not just then. From now on I will. I promise. Sorry I've been bailing on you for so long…"

"It's okay, Rose. I understand." _Alice might understand better though… God, I hope she does… What am I _saying_?! That's horrible! But it could be good for Rose…_

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

**So what do we think, loves? Is Bella on to something, or is she cooking up crazy ideas along with dinner? Ha. Is she on to something or just plain **_**on**_** something? :P**

**Once again, I did my homework. I did my homework like **_**crazy**_**. And so did Edward. Each and every flower he gave Bella has a very specific meaning:**

**Forget-me-nots: Remember me (Duh.)  
Hyacinth: Sincerity  
Sunflower: Adoration  
Pansy: Loving thoughts  
Lilac: First love (Get the cryptic note now? It's also a lyric from the song he sang at open-mic night this chapter. Brownie points to anyone who had at least half of that figured out. I'm hoping that's more than just Molly.)  
Apple blossom: Promise**

**Edward's a clever dude – he doesn't do **_**anything**_** without thinking it through all the way. And yes, that includes spending a ludicrous amount of money on a birthday present for a girl he's only known 22 days. (And no, he's not wealthy. Nor is he a trust fund baby or the heir to the unknown Cullen fortune. He's just an average smokin' hot Joe who works hard for his money and knows how to save.)**

**Photos of every flower _and_ the ring on the webpage****! kimfics(dot)webs(dot)com. Check it out, bbz.**

**Reviews are better than having a florist shop for a bedroom.**


	10. There For You

**I'm publishing this a few days earlier than I really expected to (writer's block is a bitch) for a couple reasons - I feel the need to celebrate the release of that incredible freaking trailer (when did Taylor Lautner get _that_ hot?!) and I'm caving to peer pressure from the girls on the thread. "What thread?" you ask? Why the Twilighted thread that now exists for I Have Seen the Rain, of course. That's right - Fer went off the deep end and made a thread last week. A few of us have been playing over there for a bit now and having a grand ol' time. Come join us. Really. We love new friends. If you need more incentive, I _did_ give them a teaser for this chapter last night. Maybe, just maybe, I'll do it again. Link's at the end if you wanna come play!**

**Guess I've forgotten to mention this the past few chapters, so I'll make sure to do it now - Jacob may be able to suddenly become a wolf, but I can't suddenly become a Newbury Award-winning author. Surprise surprise, I'm still not Stephenie Meyer.**

**For my ladies on the thread, especially Thirteen, Big Love (my one-woman source of peer pressure), and Cut-throat Bitch. Mwa! Oh, and I can't mention the Scotches to my Gin without mentioning the New Girl - Amber! Mwa!**

**

* * *

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_I wanna be there for you  
Someone you can come to  
Runs deeper than my bones  
I wanna be there for you  
I wanna be there for you_

- "There for You", Flyleaf

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**BPOV**

9:27pm.

It was 9:27pm and that meant I'd been listening to the obnoxious ringing tone of my phone for a full thirteen minutes and change already. Ever wonder how many times a phone rings in thirteen minutes? One-hundred-thirty times. It rings _one-hundred and thirty freaking times_. Ten rings per minute. One ring every six seconds. By 9:27pm I had already heard one-hundred-thirty-eight rings and I _still_ hadn't hung up. I planned to sit and count the obnoxious rings until the tone on the other end got to be too much for anyone in that apartment to handle anymore. _Pick up the damn phone, Edward. 139. I'll sit here all night if I have to. 140. I'm serious. 141. Don't doubt me. 142. You're underestimating me. 143. I can be damn stubborn when I need to be. 144. It's _your_ migraine, buddy. 145…_

Four-hundred-ninety-three irritating and insistent rings later an obviously exasperated and slightly amused Edward finally answered the phone.

"Alice says she'll cheer up just enough to kick your ass if you don't stop calling, Bella," he laughed into the receiver.

"How'd she know it was me?" _What _is_ that girl? Freaking psychic?_

"She didn't. Well, she assumed, but _I_ knew. You're the only person we know stubborn enough to wait more than an hour for someone to answer."

"Oh." _It sounds a lot worse when you put it in terms of hours instead of rings…_ I felt my face turn red and was suddenly happy to be talking on the phone instead of in person.

"Stop blushing. I'm not there to see it." _How the…_

"Stop knowing me so well." _Brilliant retort, Bella. You're a genius._ I stuck my tongue out at the receiver like an indignant toddler. _That'll teach him._

"No. And put your tongue back in your mouth; you're twenty-four, not three," he chuckled. _Stop it, damn it!_ "I imagine you're calling to check up on Alice and not gush to me about how much you loved your birthday present?" His voice had a familiar childishly hopeful lilt to it and I couldn't deny him the so-called "gushing" he quite obviously wanted.

"I _did_ love it, Edward." _Did? Great, make him think you pawned it or something. Moron. _"I still do! It's absolutely beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as the woman wearing it." I bit my bottom lip as I smiled happily at his flattering remark and couldn't bring myself to be upset as I felt my skin flush red once again. "What did I just tell you about blushing when I'm not there?"

"Not to do it," I laughed. "You know me too well."

"I'd beg to differ."

"Beg all you want, but I _still_ say you know me too well." I could feel myself getting distracted from the original purpose for my call and knew I had to refocus my attention quickly before all hope was lost. "You're making me digress…"

"I would never make you do anything."

"Edward…" _God, he's lucky he's cute._

"Sorry."

"As I was _trying_ to say… How's Alice doing?"

"She's…" He sighed heavily. "You want the truth?"

"And nothing but."

"She's miserable, Bella. You remember how you described Rosalie to me at the Pier?"

"Yeah." Of course I did. That description was pretty damn similar to how she'd been before I made her have dinner with me. I hated even thinking about it now that she seemed to be at least somewhat more herself.

"That's _exactly_ how she is. Every little bit of it. The only time she's not crying is when she's run out of tears. I have to beg her to eat anything and even then all I can get into her is toast. I guess I can't blame her, since I burn the damn stuff half the time, but still. She won't leave her bedroom. She won't even get up to take a bath, Bella. She's practically catatonic. She hasn't said a word to me in days. I'm lonely and I'm not even alone, and frankly, Bella, I'm scared."

I'd never wanted to hug someone more in my life. I knew _exactly_ how he was feeling, and I knew nothing I could say would cheer him up in the least. It was heartbreaking to hear him describe his perpetually perky cousin, my invariably vivacious friend, in such downtrodden and depressing terms.

"I know, Edward," I whispered.

"How's Rosalie?" he asked suddenly.

"She's…" I paused, hesistant to actually vocalize my hopes. If I told him she was doing better and her turn around only lasted the night, I'd feel like I lied to him. If I told him she was much the same, I _would_ be lying to him… _and he'd probably worry about her on top of Alice._ "You want the truth?" I chuckled.

"And nothing but," he returned, a slight smile evident in his voice.

"I _think_ she's a little better. She kind of hit rock bottom tonight. I found her engagement ring under a pile of tissues and when I asked her about it she said 'Engagement rings are for girls who have fiancés… girls whose fiancés are still alive'."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. I kind of tore her a new one for that." A soft chuckle carried through the receiver and I smiled slightly at the sound. "I told her she just needed to have faith like Emmett told her to and made her take a shower and join me for dinner. I had to threaten to throw her in the shower fully clothed and drown her in ice water, but she got up." Another chuckle rang in my ear, but this one had a distinct hint of sadness to it.

"Think that would work on Alice?"

"There's only one way to find out, right?" The phone went quiet for a moment and I realized he was actually _seriously_ considering it. "Edward, don't. I think I have a better idea."

"I kind of like the ice water one. It'd serve her right at this point…"

"Somehow I don't think revenge is going to endear her to you right now."

"You make a good point. What's your 'better idea'?"

"Well… uhm… I don't know if it'll work or not… but… uh… to know… I kinda…" Suddenly I didn't feel like I could ask. I felt like I'd be intruding on some private family suffering. What if it wasn't like I'd thought? What if she'd lost a brother or her father or some other family member? Then Edward would be suffering too. I didn't want to make his suffering worse if I'd been wrong…

"Spit it out, Bella."

I took a deep breath. "Ineedtoknowwhathappened," I blurted.

For a moment all I heard on the other end was Edward's uneven breathing.

"Bella… I can't. She'd kill me…" he finally said, his voice laced with a mixture of pain and regret. "I wish I could. I really do. But I can't. It's… complicated."

"I won't tell anyone. I won't even tell Alice you told me. I swear. I wouldn't even ask except that… well… I have my suspicions as to what happened. If they're right, there's a slim chance my plan might work. If they're wrong, it won't work at all and she'll probably resent the hell out of me for trying to help and you for telling me she was upset in the first place."

The phone went quiet again as he seemed to think it over. I waited for him to admit that knowing Alice was upset was already more than she'd want me to know and to agree that it wouldn't make things any worse than they already were if I knew _why_ she was so upset. When he didn't give in after a minute, I tried plan B.

"What if I told you what I think happened and you just tell me if I'm wrong? All you'd have to say is 'no'. You wouldn't be telling me anything at all, really…"

"You're splitting hairs, Bella."

"That's not a 'no'…" _Please agree to this, Edward. It's the only way I know of to help. Don't make me feel even more helpless than I already do._

He exhaled sharply and I could just see him pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in agitation. "Fine. What do you think happened?" _Yes!_

"Well, when I first met Alice, she specifically mentioned being a 'one-man kinda woman'… I think… Well, I think that was more than just a feeble attempt to convince me Rose hadn't dragged me to a love-in. I think… I think her 'one man' is, or was, in the war…" I trailed off, expecting to be cut off by a sharp "no" at any moment. When the denial didn't come, I continued. "I think she hasn't heard from him---"

"No." _Ah. There it is. Okay… so she _does_ have a man overseas… and she _has_ heard from him recently… He's not dead like I thought. Thank God._

"She _has_ heard from him then…"

Silence.

"But she didn't like what she heard…"

More silence. _That can't mean a whole lot of things…_

"He's hurt." I didn't need to trail off this time; I was absolutely positive my conclusion was right. Despite being so certain, I waited for the "no" to come. It never did. "How bad is it?"

"Pretty bad. Real bad, actually. Ugh. She'd kill me if she heard me telling you this."

"Is he gonna make it?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Silence descended upon the conversation yet again, but this time I couldn't bring myself to break it. All I could think was "Poor Alice" over and over again, and the last thing Edward needed now was emphasis on his cousin's pain.

He cleared his throat sharply just as I wiped newly formed tears from my eyes and I thought I heard a muffled sniffle through the phone. "So… what's this plan you have?"

"Oh. Uhm, I thought maybe you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow night. I'm thinking of making this fondue recipe Rose always enjoys, or maybe something nicer. Have you ever had _coq au vin_?"

"Uhm, Bella… I love the idea of having dinner with you, but how exactly is that supposed to help Al?" He laughed sadly and I was torn between wanting to hold him until all the pain over Alice's behavior went away and wanting to slap him silly for thinking I meant just him. _Maybe he really _doesn't_ know me as well as I thought._

"I meant you _plural_. You _and_ Alice. I thought that would get her out of the house and get some real food in her at the very least. And, if we work things just right, maybe we could get her and Rose to talk. I think they need someone more understanding than either of us can be right now."

"And Rosalie would understand Al right now seeing as how Emmett's MIA. I foll---"

"Take that back!" I shouted. _He's not MIA, damn it! He's just… out of touch._

"What?" He sounded absolutely stunned. I supposed it made a certain amount of sense for him to be surprised – I'd never yelled at him before, and while he'd seen me cry over Emmett and Rose before, he'd never truly seen, or even heard, me go to pieces.

"Take. It. _Back._ He is not MIA. She just hasn't heard from him." I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes as images of what MIA meant played in my mind. _Emmett wounded in a ditch somewhere, bleeding to death… Emmett wandering alone in the jungle, completely lost and hopeless and without his unit to help him… Emmett captured by the enemy, suffering all sorts of foreign tortures…_

"I'm sorry, Bella. Really. I didn't mean it." _Emmett hiding from Charlie in a tree – a tree about to be doused in Agent Orange…_ "Bella! Shhhh. Baby, breathe." My mind barely registered the fact that I was hyperventillating. I could feel a panic attack coming on; I felt absolutely helpless to stop it, absolutely helpless in general. "Bella, if you don't calm down, Rosalie is going to come and ask what's wrong. Do you really want to have to explain to her what we've been talking about?" I felt my breathing slowly start to even out as his words sank in. He was right – a panicked Rosalie was the last thing I needed.

"Sorry… I didn't… I just… I could _see_ it, Edward. I could see _him_. It was…" I trailed off as terrified tears poured down my face and I found I couldn't make myself care enough to wipe them away.

"I know." He sat silently on the other end and let me cry for a moment uninterrupted. As the tears tapered off, I felt myself wondering how he seemed to always know exactly what I needed. "It'll be okay, Bella. Everything will be okay. And for the record, I love _coq au vin_."

I laughed lightly and wiped the tears from my eyes. "Then I'll go to the store after work tomorrow and make sure I have everything I need for it. Will I be serving three or four?"

"Four. Definitely four. What time should I drag Alice out for?"

"How's seven?"

"Heavenly, if that's when I'll see you again."

I could feel the infernal heat flood my cheeks again and didn't bother waiting for him to comment on it. "I know! No blushing when you're not around to see it. It's not like I can do anything about it, y'know." He laughed heartily on the other end and I couldn't help but join in. "I'll see you _both_ tomorrow night. Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella carina."

-----------

The buzzer doorbell downstairs rang out loudly throughout the apartment at 7:00pm on the dot. I hurried to the control panel on the wall and pressed the small, rusting metal intercom button. "I see punctuality is a familial trait," I said into the speaker and was quickly rewarding with Edward's echoing laughter.

"Yeah. It's a Masen thing, what can I say?" he chuckled out. "We both got it from our mothers, right, Al?"

"Oh, good! You _did_ make it, Alice!" I said cheerfully, without giving her a chance to respond to Edward's question.

"Yeah… I'm here," she replied. She sounded so unlike herself that I wondered briefly if Edward had paid Seth to tag along and pretend to be Alice.

"Great! Come on up!" I buzzed them in, holding the button down a bit longer than necessary in my excitement. The whole evening had me hyper – I was excited to cook for someone other than Rose, excited to finally see Edward again, and, most of all, excited to see my plan put into action. I had high hopes that it would work. So high, in fact, I couldn't imagine it _not_ working.

I tore the door open the moment Edward knocked on it and we exchanged a look so full of meaning I was surprised neither of us was crushed by it. It said everything we needed to say but couldn't bring ourselves to vocalize. More than a look, it was a visual conversation. His eyes said "I missed you"; mine responded with "Don't ever make me go that long without seeing you again." His said "I want to kiss you"; mine said "I know, but we can't." His said "Don't worry, I understand why you're not wearing your ring"; mine said "I love it, but I can't make Rose and Alice watch us be couple-y." His eyes said something I couldn't discern that made my pulse quicken and my breath hitch on instinct; I had to shut mine to keep them from responding with "I love you".

Dinner went off without a hitch, Edward and Rosalie alternating compliments about my cooking with every other bite. I had to work to keep from watching Alice, but whenever I gave in and peeked at her she seemed content. It seemed like she was at least enjoying finally getting some real food and maybe, if I was being hopeful, even enjoying having company other than her toast-charring cousin. Conversation flowed freely… between Edward and I. We worked hard in surreptitious tag-team fashion to pull Rose and Alice out of their respective funks, but it proved trickier than I'd anticipated. When half the meal had gone by with Alice only ever looking at her dinner, I reached my wits end and said the only – admittedly dimwitted – thing I could think of to provoke seemingly nonchalant conversation.

"So… Alice… Are you seeing anyone?" Edward shot me an incredulous look and I did my best to tell him without words that I knew what I was doing – sort of. "I'm just wondering. I mean, I know I talk about Edward far too much at work… and Rose used to talk about Emmett all the time… but I've never heard you say anything about anyone special. You can't seriously tell me someone as sweet, charming, _beautiful_, and all other things apparently Masen as you hasn't found _someone_."

"Yeah," Alice mumbled shyly to her raised fork. _Shyly? Alice is _never_ shy. This guy must really be something to have her so broken._

"Yeah you _are_ seeing someone, or yeah you _can_ tell me that?"

"I'm seeing someone," she informed her dinner plate. "Well, kind of."

"Exactly how do you 'kind of' see someone?" Rosalie asked, clearly bewildered and slightly intrigued. Edward and I exchanged victorious glances at this clear step in the right direction.

"He's… I don't want to talk about it."

"C'mon, Alice, you can tell me anything. You know that," Rosalie encouraged. "Tell me all about him."

"I can't."

"You… _can't_?" It was my turn to be bewildered and intrigued.

"I told him I wouldn't. He's kind of… my secret."

"Like a secret admirer?" Rose pried. "Isn't that romantic!"

"No, not like that," Alice argued quietly. "I mean, yeah, he's romantic. He's real sweet and charming and… he's great." For the first time all night I saw a smile start to spread across her face. A quick peek at a pleasantly surprised Edward confirmed my suspicion that it wasn't just the first time that _night_, but the first time in days if not a week. "But he's _my_ secret, not a secret _from_ me. I've met him. I know who he is. I just… I don't tell people about him."

"Why not?" I asked.

"It's stupid."

"No, it's not. Tell us," Rose prompted. She had a knack for convincing people to talk to her; she seemed warm and inviting even when she herself was depressed. _I'll have to thank her for that later._

"I feel like… if I tell people, I have to share him. And I don't want to share him. I just… I want him all to myself." She sniffled and I watched a tear glisten down her cheek. "And I want him to come home and not be hurt," she all but sobbed.

"Oh, honey, that's not stupid at all." Rose was out of her chair and had her arms wrapped around Alice in a flash. "He's a soldier?" she asked sadly, hugging Alice close to her and patting her hair down with one hand like I'd done to her so many times.

"Yeah," Alice sobbed into Rose's shoulder.

"C'mon, honey. Let's go sit in the other room and you can tell me all about what happened. You don't have to tell me about _him_, just tell me what happened to him. It helps to let it out." She grinned slightly over Alice's head and the look in her eyes was all the thanks I never wanted or needed for being there for her.

----------

Nearly two hours later, Alice was all cried out and had fallen asleep with her head on Rosalie's lap. Despite the change in characters, the scene was terribly familiar to both Rose and I, and I could see understanding and sympathy shine in her eyes as she brushed Alice's hair soothingly. Edward stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up to give me the chance to talk to Rose.

"How'd it go?" I asked quietly as I sat in the chair nearest the couch the other two occupied.

"Okay. She's got it rough, Bells. She wouldn't tell me anything about the guy, but you can tell she loves him. It's obvious. She's as head-over-heels for him as… as I am for Emmett." She smiled sadly down at Alice's sleeping figure.

"Did she say what happened to him?"

"She tried. She tried real hard. But she couldn't," Rosalie responded quietly, her voice drifting off slightly as her mind obviously wandered. "It's hard, Bella. You have no idea. It's just so damn _hard_ to talk about. Once you talk about it, you _see_ it. It's worse for her than it is for me. I just imagine things; she _knows_ what happened, knows it in gruesome detail, and she _sees_ it every damn time she thinks about it." She sighed the frustrated, understanding sigh of someone who's willingly shouldered the all-too-familiar burdens of those around her. For a moment I imagined Rose as Alice's psychiatrist – it wasn't a huge leap to make. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm _really_ sorry."

"For what?" I asked incredulously. "You have nothing to apologize to me for, Rose."

"Yeah, I actually do. I've… I've just _dumped_ all my problems on you for so long. Ever since… Emmett… left… God, that's hard to actually _say_…" She shook her head and I wanted to tell her she had no reason to be talking like that, but she raised her hand from the side of Alice's head and effectively silenced me before I could even start talking. "When Emmett left, I fell apart. I just went to pieces. I felt like I didn't have anything to live for anymore. But you picked me up off the ground, Bella. Literally and figuratively. You saved me. You put Rosie Dumpty back together again. And sure, there were little pieces still missing, but you did more than I could ever have asked you to. More than I deserved to have you do for me. And then… when… when the letters stopped… I just… You know, you were there. You've always been there. I just assumed the worst and I just… _gave up_. But you didn't. You kept pushing me and telling me you believed in me and giving me hope when I didn't think there was any _anywhere_ anymore." She sighed deeply and shut her eyes, and I wondered momentarily if she was finished with her speech so I could tell her to stop being silly. But before I could take a breath to speak, she continued. "I was stupid, Bella. I thought I had nothing left to live for, but… but that was stupid. Really stupid. Even if… even if Emmett's… you know… even if he… doesn't… come back… I still have something to live for. I have you. You're my best friend. You're like the sister I never had, and I love you like family. And I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me."

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was up from my chair and sitting on the arm of the couch with my arms around Rose, crying into her hair. "You don't have to thank me, Rose. You don't _ever_ have to thank me for _anything_. I mean, c'mon… What's family for, right?" I chucked softly through my tears.

"Right," she laughed back through her own.

"Everything okay in here?" Edward asked, cautiously walking toward the couch. "I'm starting to think I should be crying too. I feel kind of left out," he chuckled, eliciting another teary laugh from both Rose and myself. "Y'know, after tonight, I'm pretty sure I could tell the difference between the three of you just by how you sniffle." He gently ruffled my hair with his hand and smiled down at us before wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb and hugging me tightly to him. "You okay, babe?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back as tightly as my exhausted limbs would allow. "Yeah, I'm fine. For once you witnessed happy tears." He kissed the top of my head and rocked me side to side playfully.

"I should probably get Sleeping Beauty there back home, huh?" he suggested.

"What're you gonna do, carry her all the way home?" Rose asked, clearly joking, though the look on Edward's face said that was _exactly_ what he'd planned to do. "No! No. Just let her sleep here."

"Yeah. She's already sound asleep. Why wake her up?" I agreed. "Just stay here."

He mulled it over for a moment before finally conceding. "Okay. On one condition."

"What's that?" Rose and I asked in stereo.

"Can I at least have a thick blanket to put beneath me? Hardwood's probably not terribly comfortable…"

"What makes you think you're sleeping on the floor?" I asked, looking up at him, my arms still wrapped around his waist.

"Where else would I sleep? You got another couch somewhere I don't see?"

"No. But I _do_ have a big, comfy bed…"

Rose nudged me in the back with her shoulder and carefully got up from the couch, trying not to disturb Alice. "'Night, you two," she said with a wink before disappearing back to her bedroom.

"That's really very 'hostess with the mostest' of you, Bella, but you're not giving up your bed for me." _Wow. Really? Am I _really_ going to have to spell it out for you?_

"I didn't intend to." He raised a confused eyebrow at me. "Y'know, you're remarkably cute when you're being dense. What part of '_big__, comfy_ bed' did you miss, Edward?" The confused look slowly faded from his face and his eyes went wide as light finally dawned on his pretty, marble head.

"Ohhh." He looked around sheepishly for a second before looking back at me, a familiar, dangerous sparkle in his eye.

"Now you're gettin' it," I replied, standing up from the couch and dragging him toward my bedroom by his shirt.

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**Wow, deja FTB. Thanks, Bella, now the readers are gonna hate me some more! You **_**really**_** are the gift that keeps on giving. *cough*bitch*cough* Hehehe.**

**Anywho! The aforementioned FTB-causing beyotch would like me to inform people that, yet again, nothing happened.**

**Bella: Okay, well, maybe not **_**nothing**_**. ;)  
****Kim: Oh, what, you're gonna write my A/Ns for me now too? It's not enough to be the star of the story, you gotta steal the **_**author's**_** notes as well?  
****Bella: Well if you would **_**tell**_** it right, we wouldn't have this problem, now would we?  
Kim: Oh, don't you start with me woman…  
Bella: My story. I'll start with whoever I like.  
Kim: Well clearly you won't start with Edward! OH! BURN!  
****Bella: I've known the man for less than a month! You think it's appropriate for me to just **_**crawl**_** into bed with him???  
****Kim: Dude… you just **_**did**_**!  
****Bella: I meant **_**euphemistically**_**!  
Kim: Yeah, yeah…  
****Bella: **_**Do**_** you???  
Kim: No. I don't.  
Bella: Thank you.  
Kim: Congratulations, you're a role model to all women. Wahoo. Can I get back to my damn note now, please?  
****Bella: **_**You're**_** the one that keeps writing this dialogue…  
Kim: WOMAN!**

******************************Eh, she said it all anyway. Damn her.**

**Reviews are better than spending an apparently **_**mostly**_** innocent night in bed with your own personal Greek god.  
Bella: Trust me, they're not.  
Kim: GO. AWAY.**

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**Don't forget!...**

**Twilighted thread: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4205  
Music and such: http://kimfics(dot)webs(dot)com**


	11. Dear Alice

**Hello again lovelies. Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. Real life has been kicking my ass quite thoroughly lately. And, seeing as how it doesn't show any signs of stopping anytime soon, you should probably be forewarned that updates will likely be few and far between for a bit. I hate it, but it's true. I'll do my best to not take forever though - you have my word.**

**That said, this chapter's for Thirteen for talking me down from my Indie Award inspired cliff. If you don't know who Thirteen is, get your butt over to the thread and find out (and get it back on topic while you're at it :P). http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4205**

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_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.  
The sun is up, the sky is blue  
It's beautiful and so are you.  
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?_

- "Dear Prudence", The Beatles

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**BPOV**

A metallic crashing noise woke me from a sound sleep and I blinked at the bright morning sunlight leaking through my window. _What the hell is that girl up to at this hour?_

"Ugh. Rose, go back to bed," I mumbled incoherently to my empty bedroom, my voice thick and scratchy with sleep.

"It's not Rosalie." I jumped at the deep, unexpected, and slightly agitated voice that responded from behind me and was immediately met by a familiar velveteen laugh. _Right… not alone this time._ Edward wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, leaning the side of his head against mine. "Forget I was here, love?" he whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my neck and making my heart race.

"…No?" He laughed again and I felt his lips lightly caress the spot just behind my ear. _How did I forget this?_ He brushed my hair from my shoulder and trailed soft kisses down the side of my neck. _I could get used to waking up like this._

I shifted myself on the bed and turned to face him. The look in his eyes when they met mine was so intense and full of emotion that it nearly overpowered me. I was filled with a sudden and overwhelming sense of urgency and acted entirely on instinct, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck in the same instant that he crushed his lips to mine. His hands found my sides and pulled me closer to him as his fingers gently brushed across the thin fabric of the oversized t-shirt I'd worn to bed the night before. He dragged the tip of his tongue slowly across my bottom lip as one hand worked its way from my waist over my hip and to the outside of my thigh. An inevitable contented sigh escaped my lips the moment I felt his touch on my bare skin.

My fingers wove themselves into his hair and I pulled him into what may well have been the deepest kiss humanly possible. Our tongues battled futilely for dominance as his hand inched its way back up my thigh underneath the t-shirt. His fingertips danced over the delicate lace of my panties and suddenly breathing normally seemed a total impossibility. I threw my head back against my pillow and gasped for air as Edward's soft lips trailed wet kisses down my neck.

His fingers practically clawed their way back down my hip to my thigh before his hands roughly bunched up the edge of my shirt and pulled it over my head. As soon as the fabric hit the floor his hands and mouth were back on me. I tugged roughly at his hair and scratched my nails down his back as he kissed his way from my lips, down my neck, between my breasts to my belly button. His fingers grazed the top of my panties and he looked up at me, his darkened, lust-filled eyes silently pleading for permission. I nodded fervently and watched as a mischievous smile spread across his face and his fingertips hooked into the lacey edge and tugged downward. I lifted my hips off the mattress and he pulled the fabric down an inch or so before a loud, untimely, and unfortunately familiar banging noise echoed through the room.

"Breakfast is ready!" Alice's surprisingly cheerful voice chirped from the other side of the door as the doorknob began to turn. Edward and I exchanged a panicked look as he dove back to my side and threw a blanket over the two of us just before the door burst open to reveal his entirely too chipper cousin carrying a full tray of food. "I hope you don't have anything against the French, Bella, 'cause I made crê—," she stopped short, her mouth dropping open as her eyes widened and darted around the room, no doubt taking in the various articles of discarded clothing on the floor. They sparkled mischievously when they settled back on my pathetically panting, blanket-covered form and she smiled the world's sweetest shit-eating grin. "Like I said, I made crêpes," she giggled, placing the tray on the floor next to my abandoned nightshirt and dancing back toward the door. "And it's about damn time."

**EPOV**

I had to give Bella credit – her plan, dangerous though it was, worked like a charm. Alice spilled her heart out to Rosalie at dinner Friday night and woke up her standard, obnoxiously perky self on Saturday. The most I had really allowed myself to hope for was just that she would eat something other than my crappy toast, but, as usual, she took my expectations and threw them out the window, surpassing them by miles. Not only did she eat the delectable dinner Bella served, but she even made breakfast in the morning. And while her timing on breakfast was absolute _shit_, I couldn't have been happier to see her be _Alice_ again.

I knew Bella thought her dinner party made everything better and I wanted to believe the same, but the cynic in me just couldn't. I spent the entire week watching Alice carefully, waiting for her to slip back into her funk and worrying about just what I would do if she lost it again. As it turned out, all my concern was for nothing – my peppy little cousin actually _was_ back to her normal animated self. She actually seemed even bouncier than usual, if that was possible. It was like she'd found an entire new purpose for living and had renewed energy for each and every thing she'd ever cared about.

When Wednesday rolled around I tried to no avail to convince her that open mic night at Bella's coffee shop wasn't a necessity. While I was glad to see her out and interacting with people again, her incessant flittering about just screamed "avoidance" to me and I worried she was busying herself just to keep her mind off the sadder parts of her life. I knew it was a dangerous step, but I had to make sure she was really dealing with her depression and not just shelving it. More than anything, I needed her to know how watching her suffer tore me apart, so I told her the only way I knew she'd listen – I let her drag me to the coffee shop and chose a song just for her.

From the second we got to the coffee shop to the moment I took my Hummingbird and got in front of the crowd, Alice was running around like a mad woman, talking to anyone who would listen and trying every single confection the shop had to sell. I stepped up to the mic and made myself perfectly clear.

"Sit down, Alice," I started seriously. Every patron in the shop roared with laughter as Alice did what I told her, but a quick look at Bella standing at the counter told me she was just as concerned over her extreme and sudden perkiness as I was. "I know you've all gotten used to me singing for Bella…" She flushed bright red as all the attention in the room suddenly focused on her and catcalls from her regular customers echoed throughout the shop. "But, just this once, I need to do something different. Just this once, I need to sing to my cousin." The cookie Alice had been biting into fell to the floor and she stared at me like I was out of my mind. "I know things have been rough for you lately, Al, and I need you to know how I feel about that."

I threw my guitar strap around my neck and started playing, watching Alice carefully for any sign of recognition… any emotion at all, really. I knew she knew the song – she was why _I_ knew the song; I just needed her to realize why I was playing it. I stared directly into the curious eyes of my cousin as I sang.

"_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.  
The sun is up, the sky is blue  
It's beautiful and so are you  
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?"_

Alice's eyes started to tear up but she never took them off of mine as she mouthed "I'm sorry" to me. "I know," I mouthed back between verses.

"_Dear Prudence, open up your eyes.  
Dear Prudence, see the sunny skies.  
The wind is low, the birds all sing  
That you are part of everything.  
Dear Prudence, won't you open up your eyes?  
Look around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round  
Look around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round  
Look around"_

Alice wiped the tears from her eyes as Bella sat down next to her, wiping tears from her own. She smiled affectionately at me before wrapping her arms around Alice in a comforting gesture. They swayed gently with the song, both their eyes focused entirely on me.

"_Dear Prudence, let me see you smile.  
Dear Prudence, like a little child.  
The clouds will be a daisy chain,  
So let me see you smile again.  
Dear Prudence, won't you let me see you smile?"_

I winked at Alice and she smiled widely at me, laughing openly and honestly for the first time in days. Seeing her _honestly_ happy elated me to no end and I couldn't stop myself. "That's my girl!" I said before starting the last verse. I watched Bella grab Alice by the shoulders and shake her slightly and playfully before pecking her on the cheek and doing the most unexpected thing. She ran up next to me, laughing at my shocked face, and sang the end of the song with me, harmonizing surprisingly well for someone who allegedly only sang in the shower.

"_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?  
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day.  
The sun is up, the sky is blue  
It's beautiful and so are you.  
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?"_

When the song ended, the crowd clapped and cheered, but I didn't really notice and I was pretty sure Bella didn't either. We were too busy watching Alice run over to us with tears streaming down her cheeks and her trademarked beautiful smile plastered on her face. She threw her arms around us both and cried repeated refrains of "Thank you" and "I love you guys" between our heads as we just hugged her back tightly. It was in that very moment that I realized she really _was_ getting better and she finally understood how much she meant to everyone else and how her suffering affected us all.

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"That's right. There most definitely _is_ a meeting this week…"

Alice had been on the phone just about all day calling each and every member of her ridiculous protest group. She said she felt horrible about having canceled the last two meetings and that nothing productive could possibly have come from her moping and not fighting for "the cause". Now that she was back to her normal self, it was business as usual as far as that "cause" was concerned. Well, actually, it was business as usual with a lot more energy and determination. She'd decided only that morning that the only _real_ way to make change was to actually go to Washington and join with other protest groups. Strength in numbers and all that crap. She'd talked about it before, but now she was absolutely determined to do it. But first – recruiting more Chicago hippies with a local gathering. I was torn between being happy she was herself again and wanting to ram my head repeatedly into the wall.

"Bring as many people as you can! There's strength in numbers, they'll see." Told you so.

By the end of the night, all her phone calls had been made and our apartment was sporting brand new wallpaper. Brand new wallpaper that brightly and repeatedly proclaimed "Draft beer, not boys", "Make love, not war", "Eighteen today, dead tomorrow", and my personal favorite, "Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity". She was particularly proud of the last one and was thoroughly elated when I asked to hold that one if I had to hold a sign at all. Her enthusiasm was almost contagious; I found myself actually looking forward to a meeting for once, and not just because it meant seeing Bella again.

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"Hurry _up_, Edward! We have to get everything set up before people start arriving! What'll they think if I'm unorganized, huh? They'll think I can't possibly put together this protest and then they'll think I can't organize the trip to Washington and then they'll think there's no point in _being here_ if the girl running things can't even set up in time for her own meeting, that's what they'll think! And they'll _leave_, Edward, they'll leave! And then where will we be?" Alice was panicking about her grand return to the protest circuit. Instead of just bringing out the few bean bag chairs she kept stashed in a closet at the meeting place, this time we'd had to bring extra chairs and the signs and her damn record player because _"music inspires people, Edward!"_.

"Free to go home," I mumbled to myself as I pulled yet another oversized bean bag from the trunk of the cab.

"No, Edward! It'll leave us completely _hosed_, that's where it'll leave us. Up a damn creek…" She kept talking, but I tuned her out. It was at least the fourth time I'd heard her little diatribe that night alone. She was driving me absolutely mental.

When we finished setting everything up to her exact specifications and preferences, Alice finally relaxed into one of the hippie chairs and set her record player to play "Revolution" on repeat throughout the entire night. _She's damn lucky that song's actually kind of badass… otherwise I'd smash the damn thing._

People started showing up about ten minutes after we finished setting up and Alice rushed to greet each and every one of them personally. She seemed genuinely excited to see each person, like they were a long lost best friend or something. I couldn't even keep all their names straight. I was surprised she could, given the amount of obviously new faces swarming the room. _When hippies call in reinforcements they really go all out…_ I looked around anxiously for Bella and noticed Alice doing the same thing. After maybe fifteen minutes of meet-and-greets and fruitless searching, she gave up and started the meeting.

"First of all, I just want to apologize for my absence the past few weeks," she started. I was amazed at how captivated her audience seemed to be; it was like they'd all caught her enthusiasm bug. I wondered briefly if there might be a vaccination for such a thing before she continued her speech. "We lost a lot of valuable time because of my idiocy, but we're going to make it all up! I promise. I've got big plans for us!" She proudly held up two of her signs and showed them off to the group. "We're gonna protest in the city next weekend! There's over _three million_ people in this city and we're gonna inform every last one and sway 'em to our side!" she shouted emphatically. Applause and enthusiatic cheers echoed off the walls as the group showed its support for her plan. "And then we're gonna go to Washington and we're gonna team up with other groups and show 'em we don't believe in their fucking war, _now do we?!_" The shouting and booing was deafening. I had to admit I was impressed with the power extra-peppy-Alice seemed to have over people. She really was a born leader.

"Preach it, sister!" someone shouted from the back just as someone closer to the front started a chant of "One, two, three, four! We don't want your fucking war!" The rest of the group quickly joined in and Alice had to step up on one of the boxes we'd carried in and shout at the top of her little lungs to regain their focus.

"Hey! _**HEY!**_ You wanna know what this damn war is doing to our boys?! What it's _really_ like over there?!" she bellowed, effectively silencing the enraged group. She pulled a piece of paper from her back pocket and unfolded it carefully, almost reverently. "'We were running through the jungle. I didn't know a dozen men weighed down with arms and equipment could be so quiet. All I could hear was sticks and twigs being crushed under our feet. We came up to a clearing. The sun was bright, almost blinding. Birds were flying overhead. It was almost peaceful, almost felt like home. Then I heard it,'" she read, her voice getting quieter and shakier with each sentence. I walked over to her and put a comforting arm around her.

"You don't have to do this, Alice," I whispered into her ear. She looked up at me with tear-filled eyes.

"Yes I do, Edward." She took a deep breath and continued reading the letter that had broken her into a mere shell of herself only weeks ago. "'A high-pitched squealing, getting louder and louder. The men were shouting incoherently behind me. I turned to see what the fuss was about…'" she trailed off and I noticed there were fresh tears streaking the paper that was shaking between her fingers.

"'They were scattering everywhere, taking cover,'" I continued for her. "'The squealing grew louder still and'—" Alice gasped beside me and I looked up from the letter to see her staring fixedly toward the door. Following her gaze, I saw Bella and Rosalie… and a third person I was certain I'd never met before. A blonde man in a wheelchair was holding Rosalie's hand on his shoulder and staring back at Alice like he was seeing a ghost. She was looking back at him like he was the answer to all her prayers.

"Jasper?" she whispered. She dropped the letter and walked toward the trio, her pace increasing with each stride. I watched in astonishment as the man in the wheelchair reached his arms out to her and she threw herself at him, sobbing uncontrollably. I bent down and picked the letter up off the floor and my eyes immediately went to the parting at the bottom of the page.

"_I love you so much.  
- Jasper"_

I looked back up at my cousin's trembling body in the arms of the blonde man in the wheelchair and felt the air leave my lungs as all the pieces clicked in place in my mind.

_He's her soldier._

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**Squee! It's Jasper! Wheelchair or no wheelchair, that makes my day. I lurve that man. If he were real, Alice'd have some serious competiton. Yipe! *ducks flying espadrille* I said "**_**if**_** he were real", Alice. Jeez. Chill pills, you should take some…**

**Handicapped hotness aside, I have a couple quick notes about this chapter's title. Yes, I'm so damn nitpicky that I need to talk about the **_**title**_**. You may be (but probably aren't) wondering why I changed the title to "Dear Alice" and left all other references to the song as "Dear Prudence". I have many reasons – among them, the fact that Alice and I both consider it blasphemy to fuck around with Beatles tunes. Edward briefly considered singing it "Dear Alice" but knew that even in her less than perky state Alice would probably chop of his favorite apendage and staple it to his forehead for such a move.**

**Alice: Oooh! Never thought of that one… *scribbles on Post-It pad*  
Kim: Shut it, pixie! My turn now, your turn later. *sigh* That said, the title is "Dear Alice" just because it made such a nice (and completely unplanned, believe it or not) segway into the APOV tale I mentioned so long ago.  
Alice: My story!  
Kim: AHEM!  
Alice: Shutting!  
****Kim: Thank you. What was I saying? Oh yeah! APOV tale… That's right, if you don't have me on author alert and you didn't notice I'm suddenly the author of **_**two**_** fics instead of **_**one**_** (*gasp!*) you're missing out because it's up now. It's called Go Ask Alice. Go read it. Now. Wait, no, stick around for the rest of my note **_**then**_** go read it.**

**Well, actually, I guess that pretty much **_**is**_** my note…**

**And I'm not even going to lie and say "Reviews are better than unexpectedly seeing your soldier come home to you." That'd just be freaking rude to people who actually **_**do**_** have soldiers. People I respect and admire to no end. *hug for anyone fitting that description***

**Alice: *hugs back*  
****Kim: Uhm, I meant **_**real**_** people, Al, but okay… Anywho, floor's all yours.  
Alice: YAY! Read my story! Read it! Now!  
Kim: I'd listen to her. She can throw a shoe like… I dunno… some good pitcher. I don't speak baseball.  
Alice: Babe Ruth? Nolan Ryan? Cy Young?  
Kim: Shut up.  
****Alice: You **_**said**_** the floor was mine…  
Kim: Yeah, yeah. *drags pixie out of spotlight*  
Alice: *being dragged* READ IT!**


	12. Baby, What a Big Surprise

**Ahhh, Chapter 12. Here it ****_finally_ is, ladies and gents(?). Hopefully it was worth the wait.**

**I have to give a big thanks to all the lovely ladies on the thread who offered support, encouragement, friendship and song suggestions, even if I did end up sticking with my choice. Dylan was a good suggestion, Conty - expect to see something from him later. And maybe your Beatles song. (Yes, I did just say that to be mean yet again. So there. :P)**

**Panda's gonna kill me for not having her beta this before publishing, but three other people looked it over before, so whatever. It's beta'd. Don't hurt me.**

**This one is for Thirteen. All yours, bity. I could not have possibly finished this without you and you know it. If FFn supported Marty, he'd be all up in this joint.**

**Finally, I have to confess. Sadly, Twilight is not mine. Neither is Namward (he belongs to Fer). But Namsper and Hipplice? Totally mine. Well, mine and me. But you know what I mean.**

**Oh oh oh! I almost forgot. Apparently Chapter 11 required a tissue warning. My bad. I wrote most of 12 before 11, so I was completely jaded to the sad parts of 11 when I wrote it. That said, fair warning: I cried my freaking eyes out when I wrote this. Ask Fer. I freakin' sobbed. Consider that your possibly necessary TISSUE WARNING.**

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_Yesterday it seemed to me  
My life was nothing more than wasted time  
But here today you've softly changed my mind  
Baby, what a big surprise  
Right before my very eyes_

- "Baby, What a Big Surprise", Chicago

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**BPOV**

The buzzer for our apartment rang loud and clear through the early morning silence. Rose was still in her room doing her best semi-forlorn Sleeping Beauty impression, so I dumped my long-abandoned coffee in the sink and went to answer it. I pressed my finger to the worn-out metal intercom button, already exasperated.

"Al, it's seven in the morning; it's too early for the 'evangelizing hippie' routine. Go home." It had to be Alice. Everyone else I knew was either still unconscious or had the common sense to visit _after_ dawn finished breaking. Besides that, Alice had called or visited every day since the dinner party the week before. It was like her chat with Rose had left her feeling as responsible for caring for her as I felt. Even more than that, it seemed to have amplified her concern to an almost inhuman level and while I wasn't opposed in the least to her being there for Rose when she needed it, she was just getting out of control.

"Who's Al?" a familiar and entirely unexpected voice drawled back. A male voice. A young, slightly gruff, yet almost musical male voice. An unmistakably twang-laced voice I hadn't heard in over two years and honestly hadn't expected to hear again any time soon, if ever.

"Jasper…?" I whispered in disbelief into the intercom. The absolute shock seemed to throw my body into some sort of autopilot mode as I flew from the speaker box on the living room wall to my bedroom window. Before my brain could even process the concept, let alone the actual movement, my hands had thrown open the window and I was leaning so far out of it that not falling to my death must have positively defied all known laws of physics.

When I saw him there on the sidewalk below me, plummeting three stories felt like a better idea than continuing to look.

There he was, in all his transplanted-Texan glory, deep blue eyes shining up at me. Almost every visible inch of him was covered in Army-issue fatigues and an olive green duffel bag lay on the pavement beside him. Even with the distance between us, his trademarked Jasper smile was nearly blinding. But for once, that heart-stopping smile wasn't the brightest thing around him.

The reflection of the sun off of the wheelchair he sat in was.

I felt the air rush out of my lungs and a sob build up in my chest. My throat felt like I had just tried to dry-swallow a Volkswagen. I blinked and rubbed my eyes furiously, hoping beyond hope I was hallucinating, but no matter what I did, the scene on the sidewalk stayed the same. My best friend's brother – practically my own brother – was in a wheelchair. The single strongest man I had ever known couldn't even stand on his own anymore. It felt like a part of my world had just ended right in front of me.

"Bella!" the disfigured being who couldn't possibly have once been the Jasper I knew and loved shouted up to me. "Stop leanin' like that before ya fall! I'll be up in a minute."

My knees gave way and I collapsed onto the floor beneath my open window. I could feel myself starting to lose it; all I wanted to do was curl up on the floor and scream and cry until time reversed itself and a new reality took over. My mind went wild with all the things I needed to be true but weren't.

_This can't be real. This isn't really happening. I'm dreaming. No, I'm having a nightmare. A nightmare of epic proportions._

And all the things I needed to not be true but were.

_Rose doesn't know. She can't find out this way – it'll kill her. I need to warn her. Tell her before he gets here._

_I can't do that… I can't break her heart. I can't._

_I have to._

I got up from the floor as quickly as I could without collapsing again and practically ran down the short hall to Rosalie's bedroom. I didn't waste time knocking; I just walked in and knelt by her bed.

"Rose, sweetie, I have to tell you something." _How the hell am I going to do this? She's already so depressed…_ While the chat with Alice had clearly helped to bring Alice out of her downward spiral, it had done quite the opposite for Rosalie. It was almost amusing, in a very sick way, how one little conversation managed to undo all the work I'd done to make Rose even a shadow of herself again.

"Go away, Bella," she deadpanned.

"No, Rose. You need to hear this. And you need to hear it _now_." _Because if I don't tell you now, you're going to have a stroke in about a minute and a half…_

"What is it?" She didn't even sound the least bit curious. She wasn't depressed anymore – she was numb. And while numb probably seemed better to her, it hurt impossibly more to me. _But maybe numb is better for something like this…_

I took the deepest breath my deflated lungs would allow and summoned all the courage I had in me. "Jasper's here…"

"Don't lie to me, Bella. It's not funny." _Please, Rose, don't make this even harder than it has to be._

"I'm not lying. I just saw him outside. He's on his way up now."

"Really?" For the first time in at least a month I heard hope in her voice, and it broke my heart.

"Yeah, but there's more…" Her eyes lit up and I knew immediately what she was thinking. _Great, now I have to break her heart twice in less than a minute. Hasn't she been through enough already?!_ "It… it's not Emmett, Rose. I'm sorry. It's… well, uhm, Jay's a little different now from when he left…" My eyes started to sting with fresh tears just thinking about what I had seen only moments ago.

"Bella… why are you crying?" Fear – the only emotion she'd truly let herself have in ages – was thick in her voice once again. It hurt me to the core to be the one to bring it back.

"I… I don't… I don't know what happened, Rose, but –"

The front door creaked open and every tiny tonal change chipped away a new piece of my already shattered heart.

"Private First Class Jasper Whitlock Hale, reportin' for brotherly duty, ma'am!" _How can he sound so happy when everything's so wrong?_

Rose's eyes searched mine for answers for a brief moment before her joy at having her twin back overcame her and she bolted from her bed to greet him. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and counted the seconds until her world fell apart too.

_Five… four…_

"Jay!" _Three… two…_ "You're ho–" _One._ Her sentence stopped short and her pain was so palpable and overwhelming that it permeated the entire apartment. I felt hot tears stream down my face as I slowly got up to go help put the pieces of my best friend back together yet again. "No…"

"It's okay, Lee-lee…" _Don't Jasper. Just let her let it out._

"No…"

"Really, I'm fine." _Have you seen a mirror recently?_

"_NO!!!!"_ I didn't need to see her face to know Rose was crying just as hard if not harder than she had when Emmett left. She swayed slightly and this time I knew what was coming. I lunged forward and barely caught her before she could crash through our glass coffee table.

"Rosalie!"

"She'll be okay, Jasper. I think the… chair…" _Oh God, saying it only makes it more real._ "…was just a bit much for her."

"I shoulda called. I just wanted to surprise her…" _Good job._ "I missed her so much. And you too."

"I know. We missed you too. And trust me, we're both glad to see you again. It's just… she's been through a lot while you've been gone." I carefully eased Rose to the floor and sat with her head on my thigh, brushing her hair with my fingers.

"Everyone has, Bells. Kinda happens when your country's at war." I just nodded. I didn't have the strength to sass him back like I usually would have. "Is Emmett at work? I kinda hoped to see him here. Two birds, one stone, that sorta thing."

"No. Actually, he's… uhm…" Talking about where Emmett was seemed strange to me. Everyone else I knew already knew why he wasn't here, and there was an unspoken rule that his whereabouts were no longer mentioned in our apartment. Especially since we weren't exactly sure of where he was anymore.

"Is that what I think it is?" Jasper's eyes were wide and focused on Rosalie's left hand.

"Yeah. It is. Like I said, you missed a lot."

"I guess! So, where is my to-be brother-in-law? Apparently I owe him a handshake… and a blessin', dammit. Boy's goin' about things all backward…" Under normal circumstances his obsession with all things and ways old-fashioned – or as he put it, "proper 'n Southern" – would have made me laugh. But nothing about these circumstances was normal.

"He's…" I couldn't bring myself to say it. After more than a month without the word being spoken in my presence, "Vietnam" suddenly seemed like a four-letter word. "You know where you just got back from?"

"The VA hospital?" he chuckled sadly.

"Don't be a wiseass, Jay."

"I know. I just hoped…"

"I know."

"Does he at least write to her?" His voice had a protective edge to it that I hadn't heard since Rose first introduced him to Emmett.

"He… used to. Every day. She has every letter in that keepsake box you got her for –"

"What d'you mean 'used to', Bella?" He sounded angry. I wondered if he was still as dangerous when angry now as he was before he needed that damn chair.

I looked down at the emotionally-overloaded angel on the floor. I hated to think one of the only two times in the past month I'd seen her with any measure of true peace to her features was as a result of her passing out from shock. _Please don't wake up now, Rose. Not while we're talking about this._

He let out a deep sigh, concern blatantly eclipsing his anger and protective instincts. "How long's it been?"

"Five weeks." I couldn't make my voice any louder than a barely audible whisper. "She hasn't left the apartment in almost as long. We don't talk about it anymore. We don't talk about much of anything anymore. She's devastated, Jay. She's not even really Rose anymore." The tears I'd been holding back since Rose collapsed were flowing freely now; I looked away and wiped them from my cheeks harshly before they could fall and stain her face too.

"Things get a bit crazy over there, Bells. Honestly, she's real lucky she got as many letters as she did. Just 'cause they stopped… that don't mean anythin'. He's probably fine. Just real busy."

"That would be a lot easier to believe if you sounded like you believed it."

"I _do_ believe it. I've been there, Bella. I've seen the insanity. I know what it's like to have to go for weeks on end without decent food or a place to sleep or even a chance to bathe, never mind the time it takes to write a heartfelt letter home." He was getting worked up. The accent he'd never worked to rid himself of became thicker with each pointed statement. But the pain and the anger in his voice drowned out the heartwarming twang. All I could do was nod my head slowly – not in true understanding or agreement, but more in acquiescence. He had seen everything he'd said, experienced everything he'd mentioned, and I would never even be capable of imagining any of it. I didn't _want_ to imagine any of it. Who would? "An' I know Emmett," he continued. "He's a fighter, Bells. You know that as well as I do. An' we both know he loves Rosalie more than anythin' in the world. Nothin's gonna keep him from comin' home to her."

"I hope you're right."

"I am." A smug smile crossed his face. "I always am."

I opened my mouth to argue – he'd been horribly _wrong_ when he enlisted and abandoned his only sister, after all – but before I could get the words out, something stirred against my leg. Looking down, I saw a very dazed and confused Rosalie finally waking up.

"Rose, honey, are you okay?" I asked, brushing her hair from her forehead as she blinked rapidly, adjusting to her newly-conscious state.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm fine. I just had a really horrible dream… Jasper was… and you tried to tell me… and…" she trailed off, sitting up.

"This isn't _The Wizard of Oz_, Rose."

"What do you mean?"

"She means it wasn't a dream, Rosalie." Jasper wheeled himself toward where we were on the floor and I felt Rose tense beside me. It was as though she were cowering in fear from her worst nightmare. _That's because she is, stupid._ She sat up and stared wide-eyed at Jasper in horrified silence. "I know it's a lot to handle, but would you _please_ stop lookin' at me like I'm the damn Jabberwock? I'm your brother, dammit, chair or no chair."

So slowly I wasn't sure she was even moving at first, Rosalie got up from the floor and stood to face her brother. She silently strode the three small steps to him like she was walking an invisible tight rope and tentatively reached her arms out toward him. He leaned forward and pulled her onto his lap and she gently wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you, Jay," she whispered, tears still evident in her voice.

"I missed you, too, Lee-lee."

----------

We sat in the living room and talked for hours, Rose and I catching Jasper up on all the things he'd missed while fighting, Jasper refusing to tell us anything about the realities of war. Of course, Rose being tenacious Rose, she tried interrogating her brother on what happened while he was over there, demanding to know how he ended up in that God forsaken chair. In turn, Jasper being nonchalant Jasper would only say that he "travels in style these days". Rose pried for more info, searching for something, anything she could learn about Emmett, even if it wasn't directly about him, but her desperate attempts did her no good. Jasper had become a master of subject change. In no time flat her pleas for depressing war stories were replaced with upbeat remembrances of the things her brother had missed.

"…and she _throws_ open the window and starts screaming at the top of her lungs 'Did you hear that Chicago? Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale are getting married!'" I laughed, "like the entire city knows them by name or something." Jasper laughed jovially as a deep blush colored Rosalie's cheeks.

"I was excited…" she defended quietly from the end of the couch.

"I know, Rose," I chuckled. "It was just damn funny. And then when Em ever joined her and started telling the men of Chicago to keep their hands off his fiancée…" I rolled my eyes and shook my head at the memory before Jasper's voice interrupted my reminiscing.

"Lee-lee? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft but filled with urgency and concern. She was staring at the floor, her head turned away from both of us, fiddling idly with the silver band around her finger.

"Can we… can we just talk about something else? Please?" she pled. She didn't even have to ask; the obvious struggle for composure in her voice would've asked for her, no matter what she'd said.

"Of course, hun." I slid over on the couch and hugged her. "What do you want to talk about?"

She thought for a moment before looking back at me with the slightest mischievous sparkle in her eye. "Tell him about Edward."

"Rose, I don't kn—"

"Who's Edward?" Jasper asked, the mischief in his tone a perfect match for the look in his sister's eye. I sighed deeply and thought about how to explain Edward.

"He's…" _Perfect? Gorgeous? Disgustingly romantic? Everything I've ever wanted and then some?_ "… a friend." In true twin fashion, Rose and Jasper scoffed in stereo.

"'A friend', Bells? You think I don't know you better than that by now?" he laughed as Rosalie grabbed my hand and thrust it in his direction. "Well, now. That hefty chunk of shiny there would seem to say he's a lil more than a friend, wouldn't it?" I blushed as the tables turned and I suddenly became the center of attention.

"He's her _booooyyyfriend_," Rosalie teased, clearly content with the change of subject.

"I never said that," I argued.

"You never had to." She smiled tauntingly at me before turning her attention back to her brother. "Notice how the whole apartment smells like someone painted the walls with floral perfume? That would be because the boy won't stop sending her flowers. Every damn day—"

"Every other day," I corrected sheepishly, eliciting a chuckle from the room's surprisingly gossipy male contingent.

"Big difference there, Bells."

"Shut up, Jay."

"As I was _saying_…" Rose continued. "_Just about_ every damn day he brings her some new, random flower. Writes her love notes too, calls her his 'Bella carina'." She swooned mockingly. "And he's always singing to her at the café."

"Sounds like our lil Bella finally snagged herself a decent guy. 'Bout damn time," Jasper threw in his thoroughly unnecessary two-cents.

"Oh yeah? Well if it's 'about damn time' _I_ found someone, wouldn't that make it about half past 'about damn time' that _you_ found someone, Jay?" I retorted sarcastically.

"Who said I _haven't_ found someone?"

"Oh really? You hook up with some jungle lady or something?" I teased, completely disbelieving his insinuation. I mean, who finds love while battling in a foreign jungle? "Does your Jane speak English or was it more of a body language thing there, Tarzan?"

"Who said she's Vietnamese?"

"They have a lot of random American women roaming around over there?"

"Who said I met her over there?"

"Would you stop with the 'who said' crap and tell us already, Jay?" Rose demanded more than asked.

"Unless, of course, you're lying…" I added, tauntingly.

"I'm not lyin'. I met her just before I left and she wrote me more often than Lee-lee did. Hell, she's the reason I even wrote home in the first place."

"Oh my God, you're actually serious…" Rose trailed off in disbelief.

"Damn straight I am." He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out what looked like a tattered piece of thick paper, folded in on itself a few times. "See for yourself." I took the paper from him and unfolded it slowly. It wasn't just a piece of paper – it was a photograph. And the image captured on it shocked the hell out of me.

"Rose… you've gotta see this…" I said, handing her the picture of the petite girl with the spiky black hair, dark entrancing eyes, and blindingly perky smile.

"Oh… my… God…" she whispered, completely captivated by the photo. My mind immediately went back to the night Alice and Rose had their soldier-themed heart-to-heart and what Rose had said to me while Alice slept on her lap, all cried out.

"_She tried. She tried real hard. But she couldn't," Rosalie responded quietly, her voice drifting off slightly as her mind obviously wandered. "It's hard, Bella. You have no idea. It's just so damn hard to talk about. Once you talk about it, you see it. It's worse for her than it is for me. I just imagine things; she knows what happened, knows it in gruesome detail, and she sees it every damn time she thinks about it." She sighed the frustrated, understanding sigh of someone who's willingly shouldered the all-too-familiar burdens of those around her._

"Beautiful, ain't she?" Jasper asked, bringing me back to the present. His voice dripped with pride and adoration.

"Yeah, Jay. She's something, alright." I tried my best not to laugh at the completely unbelievable coincidence as "It's A Small World (After All)" started to play in my head.

"Her name's—"

"Alice," Rosalie and I cut him off in unison.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "How'd you know?"

"Jay, I think you'd better come out with us tonight."

* * *

**Time for my standard A/N... NOT! *hands mic to Thirteen***

**Ok people……there is a reference in here to a past chapter, chapter 10 There For You, where Rose explains to Bella that Alice *_knows* _what happened to her soldier. If you have not read "Go Ask Alice", go now. Run. Over to Alice's point of view to read the heartfelt letter that our new brother/boyfriend/secret soldier, Jasper, wrote to Alice. We get exactly what happened to Jasper in Alice's point of view as we read his letter to her! So, go. Now. The link to the story is on profile.**

**What she said.**

**Oh! And reviews are better than good friends suddenly revealing themselves to be answered literary prayers.  
Or, if you'd prefer something more related to the actual story, they're better than finding out your new best friend's been in love with your brother since before you even met her.**


	13. Have a Little Faith

**I know, I know - "about damn time", right? Well, I hope it was worth the wait. So, first news and formalities, _then_ you can bitch at me for taking so long. And no skimming this time, ****_Molly!!!_**

**News:  
- I'm going to Dallas, TX with one of my best fandom friends in less than two weeks to meet and party with Jackson Rathbone and the rest of 100 Monkeys!!!! How jealous are you? :P  
- Some awesome people out there nominated I Have Seen the Rain (and Go Ask Alice) for a bunch of Indie Twific Awards and somehow IHSTR managed to make it through the first round of voting and into the finals! It's up for Best Secondary Storyline WIP! Show Alice and Jasper (and me!) some love by voting for it, would ya? http://www . theindietwificawards . com Voting starts tomorrow!!**

**Formalities:  
- I searched my room and either I lost my Newbury Award or I never won one, so I guess I'm still not Stephenie Meyer.  
- Thanks to Fer for prereading this and the ladies on the thread for not slaughtering me during my fail. **

**Think that's it. On with the show!**

**

* * *

**

--------------------  
_Just have a little faith in me  
I'll have a little faith in you  
So have a little faith in me  
Don't let it go, oh no  
And I wish I was there  
Just to run my own fingers through your worries and cares  
Even though I fumble and fall  
Don't let it go, oh no_

- "Have a Little Faith", Michael Franti and Spearhead  
--------------------

* * *

**A little refresher:  
**I looked back up at my cousin's trembling body in the arms of the blonde man in the wheelchair and felt the air leave my lungs as all the pieces clicked in place in my mind.

_He's her soldier._

* * *

**EPOV**

"God, I missed you."

A Southern accent. Alice's soldier had a thick Southern accent. A thick Southern accent, blonde hair, blue eyes, and Army fatigues. _Christ, could he get more all-American?_

"I missed you too, baby. I missed you so much!" she sobbed into his shoulder. He held her close and rubbed her back soothingly while I tried my damnedest to process what was going on in front of me. I heard a small voice clear its throat and realized I was gawking at my cousin's less-than-private emotional reunion. Looking up, my eyes met Bella's and she smirked, her eyes twinkling with knowledge and successful scheming. "You knew about this?" I mouthed, completely dumbfounded. She just smiled wider and shrugged in return. _No way in hell is she getting off that easy…_

"Uh, Jay? Maybe you want to introduce yourself before your girl's cousin there has a stroke?" Rosalie giggled and my eyes shot to hers. Her expression was a perfect mirror image of Bella's – they were in this together. _Wait… 'Jay'?_ I looked back to Bella; she nodded at me as if she had read my mind. "Rosalie's brother?" I mouthed. She nodded again, biting her lip and clearly trying to fight off her own giggles at my obliviousness. "You knew?!" She laughed outright as she walked over to me and wrapped her arm around my waist, smiling innocently up at me. _Innocent my ass._

Alice sat up in the Army man's lap and they both looked up at me. "Sorry about that. It's been way too long since I've seen this vision of beauty." He ran his fingers across her cheek and she blushed and leaned into his touch. _Since when does Alice blush?_ "Even prettier than I remembered," he whispered, looking into her eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment before Rosalie cleared her throat and snapped her brother out of his lovesick reverie. "Sorry again," he chuckled, making Alice smile through the tears still streaming down her face. He took his hand from her cheek and extended it toward me. "Private First Class Jasper Whitlock Hale," he introduced himself with a blindingly bright smile.

"Uhm, Edward Anthony Cullen, private… citizen." I shook his hand once firmly as he chuckled and Alice erupted into nearly hyena-like laughter.

"Guess he is related to you, huh Ali?" he laughed. _'Ali'? No one's called her Ali since the third grade. She hates that nickname._

"Unfortunately," she giggled back.

"Wait a minute… did you say 'Edward'?" He turned to Bella without giving me a chance to respond. "Big-ol'-chunk-a-shinyEdward?" She nodded at him and smiled up at me affectionately. _Big-ol'-what now?_

"Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?" I demanded. "And I think the crowd of bewildered hippies might like a clue too."

"Oh, shit!" Alice bolted up from the Army man's lap and ran back to the front of the room, a chorus of lovechild laughter following her. "Sorry about that, guys! This is…" She searched around her and realized he hadn't followed her. "Baby, get over here!" _Wow. He's home thirty seconds and she's already ordering him around. At least he knows the __real__ Alice._

"I dunno, Ali…" he trailed off. "This is your meetin', not mine."

"Jazz-_zyyyyyyy!_" she pouted.

"Awww, don't do the puppy dog thing, darlin'! That ain't fair!"

She pouted some more, hanging her head and looking at him through her lashes. "Please, Jazzy?"

"Son of a…" He wheeled himself toward Alice as she jumped up and down excitedly. That damn puppy dog look worked on everyone. It was how she got her mother to leave her behind in Chicago, how she got the rent reduced a ton on her apartment, how she got me to agree to move in with her instead of just finding a cheap place for myself. _Damn puppy dog eyes._

"Like I was saying," she continued once he was by her side, "this is Jasper." She held his hand and smiled down at him, her face radiating pride and adoration. "He's my soldier." A collective 'aww' rose from the crowd before them and Alice's smile grew infinitely brighter.

Questions started flying from their audience. "How'd you meet?" "How long have you been together?" "When's the wedding?" Alice and the Army man ignored them all. Well, all of them until someone finally got up the courage to ask the one question that was probably wandering through every hippie's mind.

"What's it like over there, Jasper?" someone in the crowd shouted. Fear instantly clouded the intense stares of mutual adoration between my cousin and her soldier.

"No," he said simply, his hand visibly shaking in Alice's.

"Jazzy… they want to know," she returned softly. "They have a right to know."

"The hell they do, Alice! They ain't over there, are they? It's my story to tell an' I ain't tellin' it."

She knelt down so she was eye-level with him and put her free hand on his knee. "Jasper…" she started.

"Stand up, Alice. I'm not a child," he seethed. She leaned back away from him almost imperceptibly, closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose – Alice code for 'ouch'. Every instinct in me shouted to go save her, to separate them and shut him up so he couldn't hurt her any more than he already had, but once again Bella was far too in tune with my thoughts and feelings. Her arm tightened around my waist and I looked down to see her shaking her head at me. "Let it go. She can handle it," she whispered.

"You're right," Alice stated calmly as she slowly stood up. Tears shone in her eyes and I wanted even more to go help her. Bella's fingers dug into my side reminding me of her faith in my cousin, faith she clearly felt I should have shared. "You don't have to tell them anything. You don't have to tell _me_ anything. I just thought they might like to _really_ know what they're fighting for. Everyone deserves to know the truth before they go into battle, don't you think?" She raised an expectant eyebrow at him and he heaved a heavy sigh of defeat. _Holy crap. Alice 1, Army man 0. Maybe Bella's right…_

"Fine," he conceded. "But get Lee-Lee outta here. She don't need to hear this." Alice nodded slightly, a sad smile playing on her lips, and glanced meaningfully at Bella.

"Come on, Rose," Bella started. "There's a bar across the street. I'll buy you a drink."

"No," Rosalie argued, her expression determined. "I'm staying. If they have a right to know, so do I."

"Rose…"

"I don't care, Bella. My brother came home in a chair and I haven't heard from my fiancé in a month. I deserve to know. I _need_ to know."

Bella looked up at me, pleading for help with her eyes. _The hell am I supposed to do? You're the master schemer, babe._ I did the only thing I could think of – I looked to Alice and her Army man. "You know she's going to find out eventually anyway, right? Whether it's from you or Emmett or the nightly news, she's _going_ to find out. You can't hide it from her forever."

He looked pensive for a moment but nodded at me reluctantly. "You're right," he conceded. "But I ain't ready to see the look on her face when she hears it."

It wasn't about Rosalie. It was never about Rosalie. It was about _him_. He was scared to tell her and he wasn't afraid to admit it. I had to give him credit – it takes a big man to admit fear like that. I wasn't sure I could do it myself if I were him. One look at Alice gave me my answer – I'd sooner confess my fears to a room full of strangers and hippies than tell her a story like his. I didn't even like the idea of _him_ telling her. But she already knew, she'd already fallen apart and been put back together, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Rosalie let out a heavy sigh and I would've sworn the entire room turned to face her as she joined Bella and me. "You said something about a drink, Bella?" You didn't have to be a mind reader to figure out why she gave in; you just had to have someone you couldn't stand to see hurt. As much as her brother wasn't ready to see her pain when she heard the stories, she wasn't ready to see his when he told them. It was almost enough to make me wish I had siblings.

"That I did," Bella replied, smiling slightly and throwing her free arm around Rosalie's shoulders.

I wriggled out of Bella's grasp, getting a questioning look in return – not the "What're you doing?" kind, more of a "Where the hell do you think you're going?" – and threw one arm around each of the girls. "Come on, ladies. Let's go make a bar full of guys hate me."

"You do a good enough job of that on your own!" Alice shouted as we walked toward the door.

"Love you too, cuz," I returned. The ensuing hippie laughter almost drowned out the best comment of the night.

"Leave him alone, Ali. He's a good man."

----------

"Bella, baby, give me the drink…"

"Uhn uh. Illike it. Iss mine."

"I probably should've warned you your girlfriend's a bit of a lightweight, huh?" Rosalie giggled before diving back into her Tequila Sunrise.

"Yeah. That might've been helpful," I retorted, trying not to sound bitter. "Whoa. And whether you are or not, slow it down," I added, pulling her drink away from her a little. "Seriously. I really don't feel like getting ripped a new one by some guy I just met for bringing his sister home tanked. Those days are over."

"You were a real bad boy back in the day, huh?" she asked, reaching for her drink.

"You could say that. And if you finish that one, I'm not buying you another." She dragged the glass back in front of her and played with the straw pensively instead of downing the rest of it like I'd expected.

"But… you're not anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… well… you're good now, right? Like you're not going to leave her high and dry or anything? You're not going to hurt her… or… run off and join the Ar-- circus or something, right?"

"Of course not."

"Good. 'Cause I know you mean a lot to her."

"She means a lot to me too…" I shot her a confused look before realizing the glass of clear liquid and lemon slices I'd put in front of me had disappeared again. "Damn it, Bella."

"Well if you stop takin' it 'way, I'll stop stealin' it back," she grinned at me, pushing the Coke I'd ordered as a replacement for her drink my way. "And stop talkin' about me like I'm not here."

"If you stop stealing it back, maybe I'll consider letting you drink again," I said, taking the drink from her and pushing the Coke back. I tried to be stern but couldn't keep the smile off my face. Even smashed she was gorgeous and her drunken giggles were pathetically endearing.

"But isss yummy!" She hopped off her bar stool surprisingly smoothly and strolled over to me. _I'll drink it myself before I'll let you have it back, babe. Nice try though._

"I know it is, but you've had enough. More than enough actually."

"But isss yummy," she repeated, emphasizing the "yummy" as she put her hand on my knee. "Yummy. Like. You." Her hand trailed a little higher up my thigh with each word. She licked her lips seductively before grabbing my shirt with her other hand. "Take me home, Edward," she purred. Her breath smelled like gin and citrus fruit and her eyes were helplessly glazed and despite the thousands of little red flags that raised in my mind, I was lost.

"Wow," Rosalie chimed in. "Yeah, she's definitely cut off."

"Bella…" I meant it to sound almost warning, but my voice came out much deeper and huskier than I'd intended it to. _Damn her and her tipsy charm._

"Edward…" she whispered back, pulling me closer and leaning in so her lips brushed mine.

"Oh come on, man, show a little restraint!" Rosalie shouted at me. "You're in public for crying out loud! And you're making me nauseous."

"She's juss cranky 'cause she's jealousss," Bella slurred against my lips. "She wanssyou but she can't have you 'cause you're all mine." The little red flags said "Take her home"; everything else left out the "home".

"Okay, that's it!" Rosalie laughed incredulously. "When the idiotic accusations start flying, it's time to go home." She hopped off her stool and grabbed Bella's arm. "Time to go, sweetie." As she pulled, the little fist wrapped in my shirt tightened and fingers wound themselves around my belt.

"Only iffee comessss too." The hand holding my belt tugged harder than I thought it capable and I fell from my stool. I found myself staring once again into a pair of heavily glazed but wickedly excited chocolate brown eyes. They sparkled at me as Bella yet again tried her drunken damnedest to seduce me. I found it a strange combination of sad and amusing that she thought she even had to try.

"Bella, I really think you should just go with Rosalie. I have to wait for Alice anyway." I no sooner got the words out than the door to the place flew open and an unmistakably recognizable silhouette danced in, followed by a shorter, foreign silhouette. "Speak of the devil and she shall appear…"

"Alisssssss!"

"Well, looks like we missed quite a party, baby," she laughed to Jasper as he gaped at Bella.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Get your hand outta that poor man's pants!" he reprimanded before turning on his sister. "What the hell have you been lettin' her drink, Lee-Lee?"

"Nothing, Jay. You know she's a lightweight," she defended.

"Am not!" Bella argued, her hand still firmly wrapped around my belt.

"Actually, babe, you kind of are," I informed her, gently prying her fingers from my clothing. "It's okay though. I think it's cute." She stuck her tongue out at Jasper as he wheeled himself over to the edge of the table.

"Very mature, Bells," he laughed. He picked up her glass and sniffed it before taking a hesitant sip. "You gave her _gin_, Rosalie?!"

"_Lemmmmmmon_ gin," Bella corrected with a grin.

"Edwardboughtit!"

Alice slapped me in the back of the head before Rosalie even finished making me her scapegoat. "You bought her _'The Panty Remover'_?! Wow, Edward, real classy. Way to drop hints."

"I wasn't dropping anything!" I defended myself. I wasn't. Really. She ordered it, damn it. I just picked up the tab.

"Shuuup everbody!" Bella complained. "Iss yummy, dammit." She eyed the glass in Jasper's hand before he handed it to a passing employee instructing him to "dump it out and keep it the hell away from that woman".

"Yeah, we know, 'yummy like Edward'. Don't remind us," Rosalie said as though the mere thought disturbed her sanity. Alice made a disgusted face while Jasper barely stifled a chuckle.

"I sah shuuup! Iss mah turn." She took a deep breath, clearly intending to stand her ground and give us a serious lecture. "I… am a grown woman…" We all waited for her to finish her stern and surprisingly well enunciated diatribe, but it never continued. She looked around the room as though searching for her lost train of thought and I laughed and pulled her to my side.

"Come on, babe. Let's get you home so you can sleep it off and stop yelling at us like a disgruntled toddler."

"I am no—" she started to argue before I silenced her with a finger to her lips.

"Shhh." I smiled down at her and she kissed my finger and leaned drowsily into me.

----------

"I guess I kind of assumed he'd be staying here. At least tonight, y'know?" Rosalie asked as I walked her – and carried Bella – to her apartment. Jasper had made his decision to stay the night at Alice's and my place perfectly clear in the cab on the way over, much to his sister's chagrin.

"Yeah. But you have to think about it logically, Rosalie. There isn't a whole hell of a lot of room for him in your apartment."

"I know… It just… it feels like I'm losing him all over again. I just got him back."

"You're not losing him. Alice would never take him away from you."

"He said she's the reason he wrote to me in the first place…" she said, almost to herself.

"She is. I saw the letters." She seemed to think that over for a moment and I took her silence as an opportunity to continue and try to reassure her. "Trust me, if anything, Alice is only going to push him into seeing you more often. And you know how pushy she can be."

Rosalie chuckled softly. "Those damn puppy dog eyes."

"She's used them on you too?"

"How do you think she gets away without tipping me when she comes by the bar?" she asked dryly.

"You're getting off easy, then," I laughed. "I'm surprised she doesn't try for free drinks."

"Oh, she tries. I just have more self-control than you do," she retorted, smiling sarcastically at me.

"You are so lucky you're Bella's best friend…" I threatened as we reached the floor her apartment was on. It was a completely empty threat and she saw right through it.

"Or you'd what? Swing her at me like a baseball bat? I'm terrified."

"Ah, the caustic wit I've heard so much about. And here I was thinking I was stuck in a battle with an unarmed opponent."

"Unarmed opponent?! Oh, I'll show you unarmed opponent…" she trailed off as she stopped short in her tracks not ten feet from her door.

"Rosalie?"

No response.

"Hey." I nudged her gently with my shoulder. "What's up?"

"Box," she mumbled.

"Box?" I followed her gaze to the floor just in front of our destination. A large brown cardboard box sat right in front of the door. "Oh. Looks like you got a package."

"It's not a package."

"Uh… it sure looks like one."

"It's open on top. Packages come sealed. That's not a package."

"Then what is it?" I asked cluelessly and, to be honest, slightly irritated. I hoped she'd just tell me and take the box of whatever inside. Bella's dead weight in my arms was starting to get seriously uncomfortable.

She walked to the door and knelt in front of the open box. As I followed, I noticed she was right – not only was it open, but there was no top to the box at all. It was filled to the brim with stacks of what looked like dirty and slightly damaged envelopes. Carefully, as though the contents might implode from the slightest touch, she pulled one out and studied it. Her name and address were scrawled across the front in messy, clearly masculine handwriting.

"Letters," she sniffled before bursting into tears.

* * *

**Reviews are better than finding a box of letters at your doorstep.**

**Okay... no... they're not. But votes are! ;) http://www . theindietwificawards . com**


	14. If My Heart was a House

**Well, hello there! Remember me? Long time, no see. I've missed you terribly. *hugs readers***

**I know I said last chapter that it would be a while before you got another update. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be nearly seven months. I cannot apologize enough for that massive absence. I can give a crazy number of valid reasons for it - including, in case you're not reading _Go Ask Alice_, that I was busy being in a movie with Jackson Rathbone (yay me!) - but I cannot apologize for it. I really hope you can all forgive me and just be glad to have me (or, more to the point, Edward and Bella) back. We cool, bro? Choice. (I stuck that in there just for you, Christine. lol)**

**Hopefully you haven't forgotten last chapter. I won't lie - I did. I reread it (and half the story, really) to remember where I left off and pick up appropriately. If you don't remember, we left off with Bella blacking out from her precious lemon gin, Edward carrying her (and walking Rosalie) home because that's the kind of gentleman he is, and Rosalie finding a box full of dirty and crumpled envelopes, each one addressed to her. Who could they be from? Not gonna lie, I think that's probably obvious. What did he say? Read and find out. Does that mean he's alright? My lips are sealed.**

**Just a couple more notes and we'll get on with this shindig.  
1) Started repaying my student loans recently. Too damn poor to afford them. Guess what that means? Among many other things, it means I am not Stephenie Meyer. That bitch has more than enough money to have paid every bill she's ever had.  
2) Thanks upon thanks to the ladies who help and inspire me - Molly for getting the voices in my head to talk; Fer for always being there for me, even when she can't be there for me, lol; Jessfor being the best partner in crime imaginable and helping me get into all sorts of hijinx (we're gonna raise hell at Muse, bb!); K and Robs for being the missing two-thirds of my brain and loving my insomnia-driven, heavily-medicated insanity; Conty for being my lovely e-hubs; Amber for perverting my mind and probably being the main reason I can suddenly write smut; and Olivia for... oh, crap. I don't know. For just being freaking awesome. lol Did I miss anyone? I don't think I did. I hope I didn't. If I did, bitch at me in your review. I have it comin'. **

**Now that the epic A/N is over and your eyes are probably too tired to read, let's welcome back our dear Namward and his Bella! :)**

**

* * *

  
**

_--------------------  
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully_

_Back and forth  
If my heart was a compass, you'd be North  
Risk it all, 'cause I'll catch you when you fall  
Wherever you go  
If my heart was a house, you'd be home  
_- "If My Heart Was A House", Owl City  
-----------------------

* * *

**EPOV**

"Are they from…?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to…?"

"No."

"Want me to?"

"Please."

I'd tucked Bella in and told Alice and Jasper to leave without me nearly an hour ago. Now it was just me, Rosalie, and the box of unopened letters. A couple months ago I would've thought she was being ridiculous, getting worked up over what amounted to nothing more than folded slices of dead trees. But now… now I knew otherwise. Now I knew the power a single piece of paper could have over someone, the meaning the words on it could hold, the intangible weight of its absence. Now I understood, as well as I could, how a single sheet of parchment could be so terrifying.

We sat on the couch, staring at the box and conversing in uncomfortable, unfinished questions and nervous, one-word answers. The silence between the few words we spoke was so oppressive I was shocked it didn't crush us both. I thought it couldn't get any worse – then I pried the first letter out of Rosalie's trembling hand. Her breath hitched and the room suddenly sounded even more silent as she looked up at me. Her eyes shone with fear, anxiety, cautious hope, and a dozen other emotions I couldn't even try to identify.

I carefully tore the envelope open and pulled the letter out. I unfolded it and read:

"_Rosie baby –_"

Rosalie sniffled and I looked over to see a solitary tear streaking down her cheek.

"_It's hot today. Real hot. And so damn humid. Everything's damp. Not even actually wet like it's supposed to be wet, but just damn damp. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Chicago. That city has everything I want right now. Dry spells, bay breezes, cold days and noise. God, I miss noise! It's so quiet here. It's eerie. Better than all of that though, Chicago has you. Lucky damn city._"

It was so different from the letters Alice had gotten. Jasper talked about battles and plans and how terrified he was every moment of his existence there; Emmett complained about mundane, everyday things. It didn't read like a letter home from a soldier. Instead, it read like a postcard from a crappy vacation. And, though I couldn't tell if Rosalie noticed or not, it read like he was hiding things. After seeing the things Jasper had told Alice and the way his letters had been written, I was positive no one over there talked about the weather for lack of a better topic. Weather was a cover overseas, for both the soldiers and their letters home.

Rosalie let out a strangled sob and I put the letter aside and wrapped my arms around her. Her sniffles echoed in my ear and her tears drenched my shirt and I couldn't stop the flood of memories her crying brought on. Hardly a month ago, it had been my cousin's face buried into my shoulder, sobbing over a letter. I could hear Alice's sniffles, feel her tears soaking my shirt, see the misery in her eyes. It was like being thrown straight into Hell all over again. In that moment, it seemed to me like letters did nothing but hurt people. I thanked gods I wasn't even sure I believed in that Bella didn't have someone sending her any as I contemplated pulling out my lighter and igniting the box as it lay on the table.

"Next," Rosalie sniffled as she leaned back and out of my embrace. She saw the doubt in my eyes instantly. "I can handle it. Just… read the next one."

And so it went for what felt like hours – me reading a letter, Rosalie sobbing before forcing another on me – until we reached the point where Emmett had noticed she'd stopped writing. They stopped addressing her separately at the beginning and got shorter, sloppier, and more desperate as they went.

"_Rosie, baby, I haven't heard from you in almost two weeks. I'm scared. Is everything alright? Did something happen to you? To Bella? Tell me everything's okay._

_I miss you. God, I miss you. You have no idea._

_I love you._

_Emmett_"

"_Rosalie, please! I swear, if I've done something wrong, I'll make it up to you. I don't know what I could've done to upset you enough that you'd stop writing, but whatever it is, just tell me. Please._

_I love you._

_Emmett_"

"_I can't do this without you, baby. I need you. I need your letters. I need to know that you're okay and that you love me and that I'm still coming home to the most beautiful girl in the world. I sound desperate, I know, but damn it, Rose, that's because I am! Please don't abandon me. Not now._

_I love you. I always have and I always will. No matter what._

_Emmett_"

The early morning sun was shining dimly through the windows as I finished the last one and Rosalie cried herself to sleep, her head on my shoulder. I was trying to decide if it would be better to leave her on the couch or carry her to her room when I heard a door open and soft footsteps pad across the hardwood floor.

"Edward?" Bella questioned, rubbing her eye with one hand and holding her head with the other as she walked into the living room. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, just… Wait, why is Rose sleeping on your shoulder? And why is there paper all over…?" She looked around the room, her eyes squinted against the tiny amount of sunlight illuminating the room, before finally sinking onto the arm of the couch next to me.

"Which question would you like me to answer first?" I chuckled, wrapping my free arm around her waist.

"Why does my head hurt so damn much?" I couldn't help but laugh outright at that. Of course she wouldn't remember. "Ow. Not so loud," she complained, rubbing her temples with her fingertips.

"How about I drop Rosalie in her room and you can have the couch while I get you some aspirin and breakfast?" I offered.

"That's an odd explanation for my headache, but okay." Leave it to Bella to be her standard sarcastic self mid-hangover. "Actually, on second thought, I don't want the place to burn down while Rose sleeps."

"Ha ha," I retorted, poking her in the side and making her giggle despite herself. "I'll have you know I scramble a mean egg."

"What if I want over-easy?" she teased.

"Then you go hungry and I hide the aspirin." I smirked up at her and she scowled at me before leaning down to kiss me and conceding to my plan with a disgruntled "Scrambled's fine".

I carried Rosalie to her bed and left her there with the last letter Emmett had sent. It read simply "_Anh yêu em_" and had come with several long, bright pink flower petals.

----------

**BPOV**

"I did not!" I buried my face in my hands as Edward recapped the previous night's events for me.

"Oh, yes you did," he laughed as he took my hands in his. "Best drunken compliment I've ever received." His voice was sincere, but his smirk betrayed his amusement.

"Shut up!" My face felt like it was on fire. Had I really called him "yummy"? It sounded so stupid and juvenile. But more than anything, it sounded overwhelmingly humiliating.

"What? It was sweet… though somehow I doubt you were aiming for sweet at the time." He winked at me and I snatched my hands out of his and whacked him. "I haven't even told you the best part though…"

"You mean my drunken admissions and pathetic seduction attempts weren't the highlight of the night?"

"Nope. Pretty close though."

"So what tops them then?" I asked, silently praying that I hadn't danced on tables or asked him to marry me or anything more embarrassing than what I already knew.

"Jasper," he laughed.

"Oh god. What did he do?" Jay was a master of the parental lecture, something Rose and I had detested since we were children. I hoped my experience paled in comparison to many of her finer drunken moments. Particularly the time when Emmett let her have straight vodka and she ended up proclaiming her secret love for Davy Jones and flashing half the city of Chicago.

Edward filled me in on Jay's incredulous – yet very _him_ – reaction to my behavior, complete with color commentary on Rose trying to put the blame on him and Alice doing her best to cause him pain for it. He claimed she slapped like a four-year-old, but the way he rubbed the back of his head when he talked about it said otherwise.

"I take it you've decided you like Jay, then?" I asked, hoping he realized Jay, Rose and I were pretty much a package deal at this point.

"Kinda have to, don't I?" He gave me that unreasonably sexy half smile of his and laced his fingers with mine.

"No. You're entitled to your opinion." _It had just better be the right opinion._

He reached his free hand up and rubbed his thumb across my forehead a couple times. "Stop stressing about it." His hand drifted down to cup my cheek and I leaned happily into his strangely comforting touch. "I like him just fine. He's a good guy who loves my cousin unconditionally and who looks out for her and the woman I love. What's to dislike about him?"

I felt my eyes widen as my still hung over brain processed what he'd just said.

_He likes Jay – yay!_

_He realizes how much Jay cares for Alice – yay!_

_He loves me – ya--wait, what?!_

"Edward…" I hedged nervously.

"I meant it, Bella. It didn't come out how I wanted it to, but I meant it." The fingers on the hand holding mine fidgeted with my favorite piece of jewelry and Edward's eyes looked intently into mine. "I love you. I think I have since you sat with me on the Pier. God, that sounds tacky."

Time passed – maybe seconds, maybe hours – while I tried to wrap my mind around it all. Edward loved me. He had for as long as I'd loved him. I was probably dreaming. But if I was dreaming, why could I feel his fingers on mine? And why was my brain screaming at me that I needed to remember to breathe?

"Uhm, Bella? Could you maybe not stare at me like a shocked sturgeon? It's a little disconcerting." If I was dreaming, why could I hear his nervous laughter? And Dream Edward usually sang me love songs or did unspeakably incredible things to my body… he sure as hell never compared me to a stunned fish.

I could only come to one conclusion.

"I'm not dreaming."

Edward's sweet, relieved laughter filled the room and shook his body. His eyes sparkled at me and his smile grew so much I thought it must hurt his face. "No, baby, you're not."

"You love me."

"I do."

The sincerity in his voice made it all seem more real, and the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. A ton of bricks that were made of rock candy and played the Hallelujah Chorus as they crushed me. I could feel the wide, elated smile spread across my face of its own accord. "You love me!" I sprang out of my chair and threw myself onto Edward's lap, giggling like a school girl as I crushed him to me in the happiest hug I'd ever given someone. He held me tight to him and my whole body shook as he laughed. Once our laughter subsided, I leaned back and held his face in my hands, staring directly into those hypnotizing pools of vivid green. "You. Love. Me," I said softly, the tone of my voice betraying my amazement.

"That's a good thing, right?"

I nodded enthusiastically, the wide smile still stretched across my face.

"_How_ good a thing exactly?"

I pressed my lips to his and kissed him with all the joy and love and undeniable passion I was feeling. His hands roamed my back as my fingers worked their way into his hair. I'd never felt closer to someone than I did when he said those three little words to me, and yet it was like I couldn't get close enough – physically, emotionally, any way at all. His fingers brushed the skin that my one-size-fits-some t-shirt left exposed and something told me he felt the same way I did. Even his hands on my bare flesh wasn't close enough.

My brain started to do that "air is good" screaming thing again and I pulled away slightly and leaned my forehead on his. His warm breath fanned across my face and some distant part of my mind marveled at how it still smelled like mint and summer rain and all things delicious even after an evening in a bar and a sleepless night on my couch.

Edward sighed dramatically and I leaned back so I could give him a proper confused look. "Only that good, huh?" He sounded disappointed, but the smirk plastered on his face said otherwise. I leaned in to kiss him again, certain he was teasing me, but he held me firmly in place. "Not that I mind kissing you, but that's not exactly the reaction I was hoping for."

"Oh for the love of God, just tell him you love him and shut the hell up so I can sleep!" an irritated sounding Rosalie chimed in from her bedroom. In my elation at Edward's admission, I'd completely forgotten there was anyone else in the apartment. Hell, I'd forgotten there even _was_ an apartment. I took one look at the surprised expression on Edward's face and lost it. I laughed so hard tears formed in my eyes and I clutched my stomach as it started to cramp up. Edward joined in, leaning his head on my shoulder and laughing harder than either of us had all morning.

"Is that the reaction you wanted?" I asked once I could breathe again.

"The hysterical laughter? No," Edward chuckled and I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. "Only if it's true," he said more seriously.

"It is," I confessed. He raised an eyebrow at me as if to question my sincerity. Or maybe my motivation. "I love you, Edward Cullen. And I'm not just saying that because _someone_," I raised my voice to make sure Rosalie heard me loud and clear, "outed me before I got a chance to tell you myself. I really, honestly love you."

The half smile returned with a vengeance, only this time it looked more satisfied than seductive. "I'd hoped that was the case."

"Yay. Everyone loves everyone else. One big happy family. Now go make sure Alice isn't trying to make me an aunt or something so I can sleep, would ya?" the troll in the other room shouted, eliciting a soft chuckle from Edward and a glare from me.

"We really should let her sleep, babe. She had a rough night," Edward said, a hint of pity coloring his voice.

"Fine." I stood up and reached for his hand to bring him with me. "You can explain the rough night to me over breakfast," I said with a smile.

"I just made you breakfast!" he objected, his eyebrows nearly meeting his hairline.

"Yeah, but I didn't realize when you said you could 'scramble a mean egg', you meant you could scramble a bitchy unborn chicken." A snort rang out from the other side of the apartment; Rose was on my side this time.

"That was a damn fine egg, thank you very much!"

"You're cute when you're wrong," I said, rising up onto my toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"Just because you know I love you, now you think you can get away with anything…" he muttered as I dragged him toward the door.

"'Night, Rose!" I called over my shoulder as I strutted into the hallway with Edward in tow.

"Get gone already!" she commanded as I shut and locked the door behind me.

"It's her apartment too!" Edward shouted playfully through the door before literally sweeping me off my feet, his enthusiastic smile reminding me of all the thousands of reasons I loved him.

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**  
Short A/N this time, I promise. I _do_ have more chapters written, but I'm not about to promise any sort of update schedule. I learned my lesson in July. lol  
Hope you all had a lovely holiday season, enjoyed the time with your families and loved ones, and got all the gifts you wanted. *glances at new Jasper cutout* Lord knows I did. ;)**


	15. Oh! Darling

**First of all, the **_**swarm**_** of "OMGWTFBBQ?!" comments about Em's last letter reminded me – I'm a dumbass! I spent months being so proud of the Emmett in my head for coming up with the flower thing on his own and then I went and forgot to tell you all what it means. *face-palm* The letter, as one reader was clever enough to Google and discover, reads "I love you" in Vietnamese. Kudos, mer79 – I'm proud of you. lol Now! The flower. Those pretty pink petals would be from the Vietnamese lotus. Here's the brilliance – Em chose that flower **_**before **_**I searched and discovered it represents estranged love. How great is that? I'm so proud of my craziness. lol**

**Another thing, I have Muse tickets for next weekend and tickets for TwiCon in July, and the outrageous Visa bill for them doesn't say "Stephenie Meyer" on it. Just thought you should know.**

**Now that that's all cleared up… I was watching a **_**Criminal Minds**_** rerun the other day (what? I have a Gube fetish. Lemmelone. :P) and something Prentiss quoted really spoke to me for this chapter. I'm not abandoning the song lyric habit (as evidenced by the title), but I think I'd like to set this off with a quote first.**

_**There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.**_** –Washington Irving**

**It is with that in mind that I would like to offer what I see as possibly the most sincere and meaningful dedication in this story:**

**_Thirty-seven years ago this week, the first US prisoners of war were released by the Viet Cong. This chapter, as insufficient and untimely as it may be, is dedicated to each and every one of them. To the men and women of the US Armed Forces – the organized Armed Forces of any country, really – the living, the dead, the lost, the found, at war or at peace, I salute you. *bows head*_**

**Now how's about we get on with the show, eh? ;)**

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--------------------  
_Oh, darling  
If you leave me  
I'll never make it alone  
Believe me when I beg you  
Don't ever leave me alone_  
- "Oh! Darling", The Beatles  
--------------------

* * *

**BPOV**

Time passed and things were good. Really good. Emmett was fine and Jasper was home, so Rosalie was elated. Alice had her soldier back and he was proving to be a tremendous asset to her protest group. Best of all, I got to spend my every free and waking moment – as well as several unconscious ones – with Edward. Life was good. Almost unbearably so.

I guess that's why none of us saw it coming. I mean, what're the odds of it happening twice in such a small group?

But it did happen. With one dry, emotionless announcement, the love of my life went from a unique, multi-talented man who stood out in a crowd to a faceless, nameless number. And my little utopia crumbled down around me.

"It'll be okay, Bella," he lied as tears streaked down my cheeks and across his hands as they held my face up toward his. I could feel his eyes burning into mine, but I couldn't make mine meet his. I knew what I would see there if I looked, and I didn't want to see the doubt, didn't want to believe his confidence was as fake as I knew it to be.

"Bella, you have to calm down," Rosalie said from next to me. Her voice sounded unimaginably far away. Something touched my arm, but I hardly registered the feeling. I felt like I was floating, like I was drowning.

"Help me," I muttered incoherently as everything around me went black.

----------

"Bella…"

The word came to me so slowly it may as well have swum to me. I could practically see it turning into a fish and making its way to me, so slowly I couldn't even be sure it was moving.

"Bella…"

It _was_ a fish this time. I could see it, clear as day. It was blue and green and the oddest shade of pink and its eyes sparkled at me with an alarming familiarity. An Edwardfish. I wondered if there was such a thing and if one could be purchased and kept as a pet.

"Bella, please…" the Edwardfish pled in the musical voice I fully expected it to have.

Then, my beautiful Edwardfish slapped me. Hard.

"Damn it, Bella, wake up! You're scaring me!"

"What the hell did you do that for?!" My Edwardfish was arguing with someone, another fish perhaps. But I didn't see any other fish. Instead, I watched as the Edwardfish slowly retreated and the deep, black sea we shared gradually became colorful once more, as though the sun had finally risen somewhere above it.

"She did it to me when Emmett left! It worked then, and it'll work now. Watch and see." Rosalie. Of course the sea would light up when she jumped into it. It only made sense. "See? She's opening her eyes. I _told_ you it would work."

"Bella? Babe, are you okay?" Edward asked nervously as his eyes scanned my face and his fingers brushed my hair from my forehead.

I looked around, confused. I was on the floor. My knees hurt like hell. Edward was cradling my head like I'd hit it on something. If the pounding near my forehead and ringing in my ears were any indication, I probably had.

Then it hit me. Not like the Edwardfish, which I now realized was a figment of my loopy imagination, had. This hit hurt so much more.

Edward was leaving. Leaving me, leaving Chicago, leaving the country. For all I knew, leaving this Earth.

"Oh God," I moaned as Edward helped me sit up. Reality struck me so hard and fast it made my head spin. I tried to keep it at bay, but I couldn't. Wave after wave of nausea washed over me as I stood and bolted for the bathroom.

"Bella?" Edward called, confusion and concern heavy in his voice. I heard his footsteps pound after me as I slammed the door behind me and lurched for the toilet. I retched until there was nothing left in me but the butterflies that made me ill in the first place and the terror over letting Edward go.

Letting Edward go… The words sounded so foreign in my head, so blatantly wrong. They ran through my mind time and time again, as if trying to force me to make sense of them.

Let. Edward. Go. I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

A news story I'd seen days ago flashed through my mind and I knew what I had to do. What _we_ had to do.

I wiped my mouth on a towel, flushed the toilet and headed for the door, breezing by Edward just as he opened it.

"Bella?" he asked for probably the thirtieth time in less than ten minutes. I hurried wordlessly past him and into my bedroom. "Bella, what are you doing?"

I rushed to my bed, fishing under it for the first in a list of many things I knew I would need. It was almost a third the size of my bed; it couldn't have gotten very – _a-ha!_ I dragged it out from its hiding space and threw it purposefully on my bed before popping the top open and moving on to the next item on my mental list.

"What's she doing?" Edward gave up questioning me and turned to Rosalie for his answers. It was a good decision on his part, since she knew me even better than he did. At times it was like she could read my mind.

"She… doesn't handle bad news very well." From the corner of my eye, I barely caught the confused look he shot her as I buzzed from my bed to my closet and back again. "She's planning," Rosalie explained.

"Planning what?" he asked as I threw an armload of mismatched shirts and pants into my open suitcase.

"To run," she answered simply. I could almost hear the gears in his head turning as he tried to make sense of Rosalie's terse answers and my hectic activity. Suddenly, light dawned on his gorgeous, marble head.

"Bella, no," he said, rushing over to the closet where I stood pulling item after item carelessly off their hangers.

"Yes, Edward," I insisted, bustling back to the bed to throw my new pile of God only knew what into the waiting suitcase. I had the perfect plan. It worked for so many others; they said so on the news every night. Why wouldn't it work for us?

"Bella… I _have_ to go…" he argued as though it were an obvious truth.

"No, Edward," I snapped. "You don't." I heard his exasperated sigh across the room even through all my shuffling and rustling and turned back to the closet for yet another armful of clothing.

"We've talked about this a hundred times, babe," he sighed. "We agreed – if they ever called me, I would go. I would hate it like no other, but I would go. It's the honorable thing to do, Bella." I didn't have to face him to know how he'd look – his beautiful face distorted in pained frustration, his hands gently tearing at the coppery locks I loved. It hurt me to think of him hurting so much, broke a piece of my very soul, but it was nothing compared to the shattering devastation I felt when I thought about where he would be in a few short months' time if I didn't do something.

"I changed my mind. It wasn't real then. It's real now. And I changed my mind." I turned, intending to toss another pile of mismatched cotton and denim in the suitcase. Instead, the clothing pooled at my feet as I noticed the shrunken form of the man I loved, slouched dejectedly on the edge of my mattress. "Edward?" I whispered nervously.

"Why are you doing this to me, Bella?" he asked so quietly I wasn't sure I was even supposed to hear him. _Excuse you? Why am _I_ doing this to _you_? _You're_ the one with the death wish here, not me._ I fumed silently for a moment before my mind fully registered how quiet and shaky his voice had been. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn he was on the verge of tears, and it confused and scared the hell out of me. What did he think I was doing to him? I wasn't doing anything. I was just trying to save him…

"You've always been so strong for Rose. You've been so strong for her and for Alice and even for Jasper… Why can't you be strong for me?" He looked up at me, his suffering written clearly on his face. The characteristic luster of his deep, emerald eyes was gone; in its place, the faint sparkle of glistening disappointment. I wanted to fight against his tear-fueled accusations. I wanted to tell him that I _was_ being strong for him, that it was taking all the strength I had to stand here with him and not just collapse on the floor and cry like Rosalie had when she went through this. But I couldn't argue that. I couldn't argue any of it. He was right; I was being weak, trying to push him into running. I honestly wasn't sure I had it in me, but if anyone was worth being strong for, it was Edward. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and if he needed my strength, I would find it wherever I could and give him every tiny ounce of it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I crossed the room to stand before him. "You're right." I brushed my hand across his cheek, wiping away the single tear he'd been unable to stop from escaping. "You're completely right, and I am so sorry."

"It's okay," he replied, his voice still soft and quiet, as Rosalie soundlessly left us to ourselves. He took my hand from his face and held it between both of his, smiling sadly at me. I couldn't stand the pain I saw in that smile. I couldn't stand at all.

I sank to my knees and rested my forehead against his leg. "I just… I can't lose you," I said to the floor.

"I know, babe." He ran his fingers through my hair in the way he knew always managed to calm me. "I can't lose you either."

"You won't." I could feel the tears coming in earnest now, the prickle in my eyes, the inability to breathe. I found myself oddly thankful that I was finally having a rational reaction to our situation.

"And you won't lose me." I hated it when he lied to me, even little white lies. This was no little white lie.

"You don't know that," I sniffled.

"Hey," he started, leaning down to place his finger beneath my chin. I pulled away as he tried to lift my face to meet his. He wanted me to be strong and here I was crying. Crying wasn't strong, and I couldn't let him see it. "Hey, look at me." He tried again, and this time I let him. Our eyes met and what I saw there both touched and terrified me.

He was hurting just as much as I was. He couldn't stand any of this either. He wanted to go just as much as I wanted him to, but he was stronger than I was. And even though he was so much stronger, he was crying, and he wasn't even trying to hide it.

The tears were just one thing though, and behind them lay a hundred scattered emotions. Pain, frustration, anger, adoration, sorrow, pity – I hated recognizing that one – and, most prevalent of all, fear. He wasn't just scared, he was terrified. And he didn't believe a word of what he'd told me. Or what he was about to tell me.

"You are _not_ going to lose me, Isabella. I will not let that happen."

There was a fire in his eyes I couldn't help but love and respect. It didn't burn with confidence or security or any of the dozens of other things I'd seen light his eyes aflame before. It was determination more than anything. He was determined to make me believe him, determined to make me let him go, and, thank God, determined to come home. When my man was determined to accomplish something, he accomplished it, no matter what got in his way. I couldn't find the heart to disagree with him when his eyes burned at me like that.

"I know," I lied.

"Do you?"

I summoned all the tiny bits of poise and strength I had within me and looked at him with renewed – and entirely feigned – confidence.

"Yes. I do. I believe you."

A sad yet satisfied smile crept across his face, and, though it was easy to notice it didn't come close to reaching his eyes, I pretended it did and did my best to mirror it.

"I love you, Bella Swan," he said as he pulled me off the floor and crushed me to him. "And I _will_ come home to you. I promise. They won't lay a hand on me."

"It's not their hands I'm worried about," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"You know you can't ask her to marry you now, right?" Rosalie's voice came from the doorway. Neither of us had heard her come back. The girl should be a ninja.

Edward loosened his hold on me and looked at me with the most loving look I had ever seen. It even put the way Emmett looked at Rosalie to shame. It took my breath away. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and smiled a genuinely happy smile for the first time all night.

"And just why can't I?" he asked Rosalie without taking his eyes off me. My breath caught in my chest. He couldn't possibly have been saying what I thought he was. It was too much. It was too soon. It was perfect.

"Because she'd see it coming. Been there, done that. And you're not allowed to overshadow Em. I won't let you," she said, leaning casually against the doorframe and raising a shiny red apple to her lips. A part of me found it funny to the point of hilarity that she could be so calm, collected and casual at a time like this – my world was falling apart around me… or maybe trying to piece itself together again. I wasn't sure. Either way, a part of me marveled at her composure. The rest of me wanted to slap her. If _I'd_ been nearly that cool when Emmett had been drafted, she would've thrown me out the window.

"And what're you going to do to stop me?" Edward asked, my favorite crooked grin playing on his lips, his eyes still locked on mine. I loved that look. Maybe more than I loved what he was saying.

"I have my ways," Rose said darkly before taking another bite of her apple.

"You owe me," Edward responded. "Don't forget that."

"Hey, I turn the other cheek when you two have your little sleepovers. We're even."

"That is perfectly innocent time spent together, and you know it," he returned. It was a total lie. There was virtually nothing innocent about our "sleepovers" at that point, but he knew I liked to keep some things secret, even from my best friend, and I appreciated his humoring me.

"Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say, Eddie." _Crunch._ "You still can't ask her. Bet you don't even have a ring."

"Don't talk with food in your mouth, Rosalie," I shot, my eyes just as relentlessly locked on Edward's as his were on mine. "And he doesn't need a ring. He could ask me with an onion ring and I'd say yes."

"Good to know," he said with a smirk.

"He doesn't have an onion ring either," she pointed out, her voice full of feigned sarcasm. She didn't care one way or the other if he asked me now or ever – she was just out to lighten the mood. And she'd done just that. I loved her for it.

"She's right," Edward said, shaking his head as though he were confessing something sad and almost shameful. "I am onion ring-less."

"That's a shame," I said, trying my damnedest to frown when all I wanted to do was laugh.

"I guess I'll just have to wait and hope you'll say yes to a real ring." His eyes burned with that same fire from before, but this fire was _far_ more intense. It was almost wild – a wildfire in his emerald eyes, a forest fire of sorts. And right in the center of that fire was a tightly clustered grouping of the most wonderful things I had ever seen – love, truth, sincerity and a promise.

I couldn't fight it anymore. My elation won out, and the biggest smile I had ever smiled stretched across my face. My cheeks hurt from the exertion, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Let my cheeks hurt. Let my heart hurt. Let _everything_ hurt. Edward wanted to marry me – nothing could hurt me.

"I guess so," I said, hoping he could see the fire I felt burning in my own eyes. The fire that burned only for him. The fire I now knew would never burn for anyone else as long as I lived.

* * *

**Ain't that beautiful? *sniffles and wipes tear* But really, I ran it through the Cheese-o-Meter and Chester Cheetah didn't come running, so I figure it should be okay. Lemme know what you thought.**

**Oh, and since I forgot to do this last chapter:  
For last chapter – Reviews are better than loving and being loved in return. (Yay **_**Moulin Rouge!**_** Hehe)  
For this chapter – Reviews are better than onion ring-less half-proposals.  
Yeah, I know they're both total bullshenanegans, but hey, it's tradition. :P**


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